Thoughts on Being a Terrible Person

Daya is mad at me because I said something out of character and probably a bit low-blow mean about someone.

I probably shouldn't have said it, even just to her privately, but I'm still not (very) sorry.

It's something I would never have said about pretty much anyone else, nor is it something I am judgy about in general.

And I would never have said it to anyone else except privately to Daya.

So I think Daya was a bit shocked because I don't say stuff like this, ever.

She's definitely furious, and she said she is disappointed in me.

She's all Gen Z social-acceptance-etc.

They are, as a whole, very accepting of identities but they also are a pretty mean generation themselves, once anything rubs them the wrong way even in the slightest. They accept you until anything ruffles them then you get cancelled. They are intolerant of differing beliefs and perspectives, while being accepting of all outward identities.

Here is an interesting article on the Gen Z tolerance/intolerance paradox.

And another one, written by a Gen Zer.

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So anyhow yesterday I went to support my friend's daughter at a show from Daya's old dance studio.

It was, in general, a nice show and I enjoyed it. A nice way to spend the afternoon.

One of the girls in particular was very mean to Daya, and she's still mean from what I hear.

And apparently she's now also one of the favorites there.

Once she literally went up to Daya and said "I'm a better dancer than you are."

So ok.

We have a mean arrogant girl who thinks she's so fabulous.

You might be thinking oh she's just jealous and insecure.

Nope, I don't buy that in this situation. She's just mean.

And she was mean to Daya. Directly, specifically, blatantly, and intentionally.

I dislike the girl, in case you couldn't tell.

So anyhow long story short my friend and I were talking about wider dance things and I have the video from yesterday. I opened it this morning and called Daya over to see this girl.

She's not that good.

If she wasn't so mean and arrogant I would not be critical, I just wouldn't care.

But when someone builds themselves up to be this Great! Thing! and is MEAN TO OTHERS as part of that, well, I get judgmental.

And if you are mean to my kid my claws come out.

The Terrible Thing I Said: She looks a little chunky.

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Not the finest thing out of my mouth, admittedly, and there are people there who are on the larger side of the body type spectrum that I would never, ever think or want to say that about. Nor would I give a shit. Truly.

But when you blow yourself up to be God's gift to the dance stage, you aren't really that good... well all that I still wouldn't say it... but SHE WAS REALLY MEAN TO DAYA so it just came out.

So Daya is mad at her terrible Gen X mother who grew up hearing much, MUCH worse and has moved away from earlier-generation-judgement-mindset by massive leaps and bounds. Relativity, I suppose. I'm not a perfect person.

She gave me quite the tongue lashing.

Left angry at me this morning.

Daya stays angry forever so I'm basically a condemned person now.