Old-School for the Win!

I have to pay the Juilliard tuition bill.

It was due a couple weeks ago but there was a delay in getting Daya's loans to post, something on their end.  All is ok. The system finally updated.

There is a payment link in my Juilliard portal (which is a terrible awful system and makes absolutely no sense, AND it's ugly) but it says I have to be authorized by my student in their Nelnet portal, whatever the fuck that means.

I sent Daya a screenshot so she could figure it out.

She went to the student accounts people, who said it isn't necessary and they emailed me a link to just pay.

I filled out all the fields- student name and ID, emails, credit card info, everything.

And then I got this confirmation screen at the very end:

WHAT

THE

FUCK

Are they seriously wanting to charge me $112 to pay the tuition bill online?

What a fucking joke, college is such a racket.

Such a scam and I do NOT like being scammed.

This is part of what I mean by all those hidden surprise child expenses that you don't know about in advance and can't possibly plan for that just wreck you financially. And then when you protest them everyone thinks you're an asshole.  Well, *I* care about making good financial choices with MY finances even if no one else does.  It's astounding how casual other people are with money that isn't theirs.  

Now that Daya is out of childhood, all that crap is DONE. I'm DONE with being on the hook for things I don't even know I'm on the hook for, or being essentially forced into doing things financially that I don't want to because they are tied to other situations, or suddenly imposed on me by school etc.

And if you think just saying no works all the time (I have in fact said no many times), you're probably not a parent and don't get that you don't get it so fuck off.

I am not one of those elite 1%ers in the dance world and I do care about a $112 transaction fee, that makes a difference to me! What a fucking waste.

This is such a dumb stupid scammy fee, I absolutely REFUSE to pay it.

It is a percentage of the entire transaction fee- so the more you have to pay the higher the transaction fee is.

Incredible.

So I wrote a check.

A nice old-school personal check, because I still have those.

I sent it over with Daya, and it was fine.

I would have literally brought the exact transaction amount over there myself in person in cash if I had to. At least they do take a personal check.

Old-school for the win! Avoid dumb scammy fees!

Brooklyn Reunion

The plan today was to paint in Brooklyn then meet my friend.

Before I left, I checked the trains because they are always messed up on the weekends, and they are ALWAYS extra-messed up in Brooklyn. 

I was going to Grand Army Plaza.

I checked the station for the 2,3, or 4.

All good on the way over, but skipping on the way back, which was ok.

I left home at 8:20.

That should give me enough time to get to Brooklyn, paint, pack up, and get to the restaurant where we were meeting at 1pm.

So I got on the 4 because the transfer is slightly faster.

I was coming FROM Manhattan TO Brooklyn, not Manhattan-bound.

The 4 did not, in fact, stop at Grand Army Plaza, an I went all the way to Utica Ave, had to go BACK to Atlantic Ave and get the 2/3 back downtown to Grand Army Plaza.

Wow, was I pissed off.

LOOK, PROOF:

FUCK YOU, MTA! Get your service advisories right!!!!

ALSO the train fare just went up so I got to pay more for the stupid dumb non-service.

**************

So basically I lost about 40 minutes of painting time.

I had been thinking about painting the arch at Grand Army Plaza, because I have not done that yet.

That's a long painting though, maybe 3 1/2- 4 hours.

It wasn't happening because I lost too much time. I would have needed to be at my painting spot by 9:30am.

It also wasn't happenng because...............

Well ok then.

************

I went into Prospect Park to see what I could find close to the exit.  I didn't want to get too far in because of time.

I stood under a tree and painted this nice lawn.

I was a bit nervous and felt the time crunch, so it's not my best but it's ok.

There was ...grey... in the grass (not pavement) and I thought that was interesting.

8x10 oil

************

I finished a little ahead of schedule and was out of the park at 12:30.

Time to walk over.

Isn't this a cool house?

Brooklyn has wonderful architecture.

***********

So I met my friend and we just picked right up like no time passed.

All the necessary things were said and all is well and I cannot even express how happy I am to have my friend back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have really missed her, it always felt unresolved and wrong, and now it feels right.

I'm just so happy about it. Now that her nasty horrible ex-husband is gone- which has been fairly recent- everything is different and as it turns out we have been through a very similar experience.  Mine was just more short-term with a long-term aftermath. 

She's a mom!! Her son is 13, he's a great kid.

After the restaurant I went back to her place and we just hung out for hours.

On the way over, we went freecycle shopping on the street.

People leave really nice things out in Park Slope.

Brooklyn in general has a vey distinct vibe.

I got a pretty bowl and this WONDERFUL mini cast iron teapot!

Brooklyn sunflowers

***********

She's still in the same apartment.  

I have not been there since I was pregnant with Daya.

Her son took a bunch of really stupid pictures of us.

13 year olds should not be entrusted to take proper pictures.

Daya would have done exactly the same thing at that age.

This one is my favorite, we both look so stupid and like something is wrong with us.  

I love it, so I set it as her contact picture in my phone.

We both have stupid tan lines.  Mine are worse.

__PRESENT

From the Flipside

Today was..... extremely busy.

Daya needed to go to Costco.

Honestly, we were down to a bunch of empty space in the pantry, fridge, and BOTH freezers so it had to happen. We got there early, did all the things, and came home.

Then I went to the boathouse.

Daya volunteered for Move NYC, they had 2 shows today and I went to the second one at 5pm.

It's very close to the boathouse, so I did my volunteering and headed over.

Last year was hard because it was a bunch of "lasts" and was sad in that growing-up kind of way.

I think I have gotten over that!!!

Being at the Move show--- which was awesome, it always is---- was SO RELAXING!!

Like I could enjoy it differently being on the other side of senior year and college and not-knowing-what-comes-next.

All that uncertainty and things to do ahead of me--- GONE.

***********

Apparently Daya is going to Coney Island for a Juilliard outing tomorrow.

I got home a few hours before she did, and I crashed around 10:30.

While I was in bed just falling asleep my phone started buzzing.... it was Daya.

Wanting beach sheets/blankets for tomorrow.

I do not want her going thru the linen closet because she'll take the wrong things, won't put everything back properly, and I also don't remember what I have.  (Last Spring I did a big cleanout and donated my junky linens to the Ardith Mae goat babies.)

Does this extreme last-minute request/preparation stuff ever end with kids?

**********
Oh, also, the cute corn snake was picked up yesterday by someone from the NYC parents list-serve.  He's going to a rescue guy who does a bunch of educational programs etc.  It worked out well.

__PRESENT

I suppose I knew this would happen eventually.

There are maybe 2 lost/unresolved relationships in my life that haven't come full circle but probably should, and neither of them are up to me to re-establish.

One I don't know if I even want, I am very split about it even though it feels unresolved, the other was my best friend at Pratt.

I heard from her last in 2016.

Late last night I got a new follower Instagram notification, and it's her.

I followed back.

Then decided to just leave it alone and see what happens.

She sent me a DM overnight.

Wants to buy a painting.

Short story short, she wants the Pratt Library painting from 2022.

That's ok with me.

We are meeting for lunch on Sunday.

I have no idea what's been going on with her but it seems like she has been through a bit of life.

And she still has my phone number after all these years.

__PRESENT

Cute Corn Snake Needs New Home

Today the super rang my bell asking for help, because he knows I like animals.

A tenant in my building suddenly passed away over the weekend.

He was in his 50s and died suddenly in his sleep....!!!

He didn't show up to work for 2 days so the police were called........

The police sealed off the apartment and removed a terrarium containing a cute corn snake.
It’s currently in the super’s office but can’t stay there.
The terrarium is clean and looks like it was well cared for.
The super doesn't like snakes and is a bit scared of it but at the same time is worried for the snake's welfare and wants it to be ok.

I called Sean Casey Animal Rescue and am waiting for them to get back to me— we cannot transport the snake, and they generally do not do pickup.

I think the tank is too big to take on the train.

Last night I posted on my NYC parents group which as a huge membership.

Someone answered saying MAYBE they will take the snake, so hopefully they will and also will decide soon.

Back Out Painting!

As of today I FINALLY have medical clearance to lift something heavier than my cat!
It's not raining so I went out to Central Park after work.

Since I was beating daylight (sunset was 7:41pm) and I didn't get to my spot until 5:15ish, I *almost* worked 6x8. I really considered it, but m glad I stuck to 8x10 after all. I also didn't want to think about a location or find one when I got there, so I decided to visit my Epic Tree, which is always worthwhile. 

Actual painting time after setup was about an hour and a half.

I got a new backpack last month but haven't taken it out before today.

This is a huge improvement, not only space-wise but also my old pack- which I really loved- was starting to break. I can't remember how many years I have used it but very likely more than 10 years.

In this new pack I can upsize my box to 9x12, the piggyback panel holder fits nicely.

That has been a challenge, and one reason I haven't worked much in 9x12.

It's comfortable and I really love it.

Now I need to figure out a better solution for my tripod case, which is 13ish years old at this point and is literally taped together. I might just have to put even more tape on it.

Only in NY

I had to call Juilliard financial aid today to see why Daya's loans haven't posted.

A nice lady answered the phone.

We started talking.

Remember most of the kids there are not New Yorkers. 

As it turns out, we live in the same neighborhood.

Her sister's husband works at my company (but is in the UK).

Her husband works for Reuters and he still works in 3 Times Square.

She has 2 cats.

I know who her vet is.

Neither of us drives or has car access.

She needs a new dentist so I gave her Daya's dentist, who is AMAZING and is right in the neighborhood..

We have all the same complaints about the trains- the fares, the crazies, the insane weekend service changes....

She has a 16 year old and a 19 year old.

This actually is a VERY NYC thing to happen.

Daya's loans are fine, Juilliard is experiencing a system problem where some students' loans aren't showing up, but it will resolve in a day or two.

I'm not worried.

It was really fun talking to the financial aid lady, she said we are living the same life!

Juilliard Orientation

Welp, we are oriented.  

Well, I am at least, as much as Juilliard thinks I need to be, and I agree with them.

Daya has a whole upcoming week of stuff.

This is where my job as a parent is to back off.

Even though she is living at home, I'm basically going to act like she isn't, as if she was away.

We'll see each other when we see each other.

I'm not waiting up for her at night.

I'm not going to ask her how her day was anymore.

She can come to me if she needs to talk.

Its hard.

We have had inseparable intertwined lives for her whole life, especially since it has always been just the two of us.
And it's hard because Juilliard is just so incredible and exciting!

My parental intuition- even though I wish it was otherwise- is telling me to really back off and act like she isn't even here.  So I'm trusting that.

Her world is not my world, and that's ok.

**********

I have asked her to give me a courtesy text to let me know if she's staying out overnight, and if she comes home and the top lock is locked, she has to lock up completely for the night.

We will have to coordinate on shopping needs, because after this week- Juilliard is feeding all the Freshman all meals all week- I expect I'll be doing pretty much all of the food shopping.

She won't have time.

It's ok.

We already have shared shopping lists.

**********

I am extremely excited for Daya, for the world she is entering even more fully, for the education she will get, for the amazing and rare Juilliard experience she will have.

There are 20 Freshman dancers, 10 are boys.

There are 85 dancers total in the whole school.

It is the exact right place for her and I know she will thrive.

**********

Check out this AMAZING broke-college-kid-price for......... 2 boiled eggs.

I cannot even.

This should be illegal.

(also they are small eggs because large eggs are 80 calories.)

(I am currently paying around 20 cents an egg at costco, AND I boil them for free!)

LaGuardia right at the end of the block!

..... i cannot believe we are already out of LaG!

Pigeon contemplating The Juilliard School

It all feels so surreal.

Wow & Post-Op

Last night I had a dream where Daya said to me she gets overwhelmed and thinks I a bit much sometimes, but that she loves me.

And then when I was on the train home from my post-op I got this text:

Wow.

***********************

Post-op went fine, all my questions got answered.  Dr says everything looks good on his end but he's not clearing me for physical activity for another week.

Ugh.

No lifting anything heavier than the cat.

He lasered off more astigmatism in my right eye than the left got! Its almost all gone!

My eye is still really red.

It's from the paralysis shot; it wrecks your eye because they have to make an incision to do the shot.

My eye is redder than normal and is taking longer than usual to clear up but everything is still ok.

The blood inside my eye has started noticeably clearing up since Saturday.

This time around it is MUCH better than the left- when that cleared up there was so much particle haze I couldn't see through it properly for a couple of weeks!

I'm down to 2 drops 2 times a day- the predforte steroid and the one for inflammation that is very stingy.

No more ointment, no more shield at night, no more moxifloxacin drops.

My pressure is up to 29 (or was it 26?) and that's high but the dr isn't worried, I just have to keep using my normal prescription. My post-op drops increase pressure.

So I'm on drops for three weeks, then I go back for the second post-op in September.

Then in November I'm getting yag-lasered again for the flares.

At least I don't have to wait a year this time.

Then there is a post-op follow up for the laser and I have my retina doctor...

People, this is way too much eye doctor.

But I'm really really glad I got this done.

I'm not sure how much better my vision will get in the right eye but at least I am out of hard lenses which is major.

********

My IRA got cleared.

Apparently a Schwab compliance lawyer had more sense than the operations person on the phone.

Sheesh.

__PRESENT__PRESENT

A Mondayish Tuesday

It's been, obviously, a quiet week.

Last night I finally ventured out for the first time since last Wednesday… for a tides class down at the boathouse.

The instructor never showed up.

Graeme was there so he just taught it instead.

He is basically a walking encyclopedia (yes he read an entire set of encyclopedias once) and kind of knows everything, but he’ll also talk for hours.  Graeme needs his own podcast.

Anyhow, it was cool that Graeme taught the class because hse also wrote a book about it.

If you want to read about some geeky water stuff, go here: https://www.graemebirchall.com/kayakers-guide

Eyes: Fog almost gone, not quite completely, blood still floating around, I have those photopsia circling light bubbles too.  Also I’m still very red but otherwise all is well.  I have another dr appt tomorrow and am hoping for normal physical activity clearance.

********

Today has been a Mondayish Tuesday.

First, when I woke up this morning, Furball wasn’t with me.

Furball ALWAYS comes to hang out right when I walk up.  She’s always on time or early to work, which in her case is helping me with the Wordle.

I had to do it all by myself.

It took me 5 tries and a made-up nonsense word actually went through.

The Wordle is weird and hard without Furball.

I was up and about and Furball still wasn’t out.

This is really weird and at that point she was officially considered missing.

I gave the cats breakfast.

No Furball.

I have no idea how I could possibly have a missing cat… I asked Daya who didn’t know and didn’t care because she was trying to leave.

FINALLY Furball came out from…. I don’t know where—- like nothing was amiss.

I was genuinely starting to get very concerned!!!

************

Last Friday I opened a Roth IRA

My old employee TD Waterhouse account has weathered corporate actions kind of like I have over the years, and now it’s Schwab. Fine. Ok.

Time for an IRA.

I am slightly behind in retirement savings, due to raising a kid alone with no help financially or otherwise, it really sets a person back, but now it’s time to play a bit of catch-up.

So I opened the account and got an immediate account restriction because I work for a securities exchange.

Major compliance and personal account dealings crap.

What a bother, but expected.

I have no issue with being compliant.

I called Schwab, they said I dont need to do anything, they have contacts and will reach out, it will be clear in 2 days.

Cool.

Then Schwab called me and said I have to get a 407 compliance letter from my employer.

I said that’s not what I was told but ok.

So I emailed Central Compliance at work and they said I’m not subject to FINRA and do not need a 407 letter or permission to have this account.  And since I am not subject to FINRA give Schwab this email as confirmation.

I did that.

Schwab says it’s probably not enough, they need a letter signed by a corporate officer but they will look into it and get back to me in 48 hours.

THIS IS SO ANNOYING.

I do not work with any non-public information and my employer has a(n understandable) draconian compliance policy, but what they did to be…insane… was to extend the personal account dealing policy to absolutely everyone across the board, even people it probably shouldn’t apply to, like me.

I won’t even trade stocks anymore because of it, I don’t actually understand the policy because it is written in British corporate legalese, and also for certain things which aren’t clear to me I HAVE TO GET MY MANAGER’s APPROVAL TO PLACE TRADES!

NO FUCKING WAY.

Not only is that none of his business, I don’t think he himself understands the policy enough to make judgements on it.

Also, what about market orders????

I don’t understand the policy, they don’t tell you about it in actual everyday English, and I’m too worried about violating some compliance-whatever-thing.

So, I’d like to start trading again but yeah.

None of this makes any damn sense and my employer really should designate people who really shouldn’t fall under this policy.

I guess that’s too much work tho.

So I emailed Central Compliance AGAIN asking what to do, because at this point I have no idea.

I just want to fund this account and do what I need to do already!!

UGH.

Eye Fog

I'm kinda bored so I logged in to work this morning and did some work stuff.

My eye is completely fogged up, it's actually worse than being without a contact lens was.

It's annoying. I'm sore too but nothing too terrible pain-wise.

I'm thinking about going out for a walk later.

Maybe I will if my vision clears up a little... but I have to wear sunglasses because my eye looks..... well, bad. Freaky-bad.

This is a bummer because I'd REALLY like to go walk around The Met (which technically/physically I could) but with my eye looking.... really freaky-bad and the fog and my drops schedule, it looks like I'm stuck at or near to home.

I might paint later, I probably can manage that, but oh man this fog is bad.

It's like a fogged up glass shower door.

With stuff floating around.

And you can't draw stuff on the fog.

Ugh.

Post-Op

I was a badass on the train and I felt very protected and secure.

Red lippie completed my villain look.

My post-op went well, it was nice to get that eye shield off.

Everyone at the dr loved my spikes.

There was a little blood on the gauze... :(

I'm ok though, but today I am sore.

The implant looks good, my pressure was...10!! Wow!! That's super fantastic!

I do still have to use my Timolol in both eyes, apparently one of the drops can make pressure go up.

There is blood in my eye again, vision is foggy and I can see the blood floating around.

Dr isn't worried and neither am I.

Great news, I don't have to sleep sitting up!!

Vision today is 20/150.

The line to beat is 20/100.

OMG if I get ANY better vision than 20/100 in my right eye I'll be SO HAPPY.

**************

My eye is VERY red and looks kinda bad, and also because I started my drops after getting home, I put my spikes back on for the train ride home. I just felt more protected.

*************

I go back in one week.

3 drops 4 times a day and ointment and an eye shield at night for the first week.

I made a color-coded Excel spreadsheet to keep track of everything.

And I took Advil but I'm still pretty sore.

It's normal.

It's from the goniotomy and the paralysis shot.

Now I just have to be careful and calm for a week.

I'll probably be cleared for all physical activity including the boathouse the weekend after this one.

Will know for sure on Wednesday.

__PRESENT

Femtosecond Laser, Redux & How to be a Badass Villain on the Train

I'm home.

It's done.

I woke up at 4:33 just so I could have a small cup of very strong black tea.

They said that was ok.

I refused to face this without tea.

Nope.

The walk over was peaceful.

I got many drops and will probably still be dilated tomorrow for my post-op.

They also gave me a valium, which they give to everyone who goes under the laser, but honestly I barely felt anything, which was a bummer. They also tried to give me Tylenol which I refused, because acetaminophen makes me feel like absolute garbage and I can't take it. (Also it doesn't work anyhow.)

I was pretty scared and they kept worrying about my blood pressure, which was very high and plummeted back to normal immediately afterwards. (I TOLD them I don't have bp issues.)

I really, REALLY hate the laser.

Last time I hated it and I hated it again today.

At least it doesn't take very long.

It's horrible.

First the doctor literally draws on your eyeball.

(Its blue)

Then they put a plastic thing in your eye to hold your lids open and it hurts.

Then they suction the laser over you, there are bright lights and those freaky black shapes come out and move around while it is lasering.

Then it's done, that's the worst part, and you go into the OR.

They confirm all your information.

I didn't feel the paralysis shot but they still told me when it was over.

They also did what they call a dual-blade goniotomy or something, it's to control the pressure spike that happens after surgery.

This time around I feel like I was more awake than last time.  (Last time was GREAT!)

They were talking to me during the surgery and I had to move a few times.  

It wasn't as blissy as before.  But it also wasn't bad.

This part doesn't hurt and it's fine.  

It only took maybe 15-20 minutes but I could have stayed in surgery for a while in that state, it's fine,

That laser tho- they ought to sedate people for that part, I guess they can't because it is in a different room. Or give them MORE VALIUM.

The doctor said everything went well, but he left the patch on until tomorrow, so I don't have to do any drops today.

*********

2 of my anxiety dreams from last week (kind of) came true.

In one, which I don't think I posted here, I had a baby.

I wasn't pregnant and I didn't give birth, I suddenly had a baby which was very much mine and I was figuring out how to place it with someone who wanted a baby because I DID NOT WANT A BABY what a nightmare.

They wanted to do a pregnancy test, said it was mandatory.

I told them it wasn't happening, I had zero fluids in me, no peeing in a cup was going to happen.

Nope.

If they had told me when I checked in, yeah.

I also insisted it was physically impossible for me to be pregnant, thank goodness.

Since there really was nothing they could do about it, they just believed me and went ahead.

**********

And then I had that dream that my friend couldn't pick me up.....

And as it turns out she had some kind-of emergency stuff going on with her daughter this morning and she lost track of time and an hour after my pickup time we finally got in touch with her.

She apologized profusely and was very sorry, but it's all ok and I got home a little after 11.

*******

MY HEAD IS NUMB.

Like literally NUMB on the whole right side from above my eye all the way to the top of my head!!

******

I sent a pic of my cool spiky eye guard that Kedrin suggested I get, and Daya said I should add a hoodie to complete the look.

The spikes do look a lot better than.... this........

Daya weighed in....

  

So if you see a weird-looking hoodie-spike-eye person on the train tomorrow, it's just me going to a post-op.  It's weirdly comfortable.

__PRESENT__PRESENT__PRESENT