What Would I Say?

My amazing, beautiful, and wonderful friend Joss Rossiter (Soulbrush) posted a status update on Facebook the other day.  She had a rough time growing up, but she wanted to tell her younger self that things get better.

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I often think of what I would tell my right-now self to my young-self.

It's not good, to be honest.
I would have to be honest and tell my younger self that it doesn't get better, no matter what.
It isn't worth it.
It goes from bad to worse then back to bad.
It truly isn't worth it, things do not change no matter what, no matter how much work you put into trying to make things better.
Hope and faith pointless. They only serve to self-soothe and cope by denying current reality.

I wish I knew that 20 years ago.

All those questions that, back then, I wanted to ask my future self- well the answer to them is "Nope, it isn't going to happen. It doesn't get better."

I don't know what I would have- or even could have done differently with the knowledge ad resources I had.  I don't look back and regret decisions for the most part. Because I don't know what I would change them to. What, at those times, I could have changed those decisions to.

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NOTE: This has nothing to do with Daya. She's fine. I maintain everything she needs. This is about my own personal journey. Daya is not responsible for me. She is growing up and will have her own life. Her life is as separate or buffered from my past and present issues as it can be.

Also, again not about Daya- my personal journey of parenting has been incredibly crappy and deeply sad on all the adult levels except work. It has nothing to do with Daya and it is not because of her.

Two Very Good Advices

After I locked myself out, I rooted around the internets for some NYPD safety advice.
Apparently, the NYPD has trouble with people not locking their doors.  Obviously I don't have that problem, but I have encountered people who habitually leave their doors unlocked, which I find stunning.  In one case, the person had some very intrusive neighbors who thought it was ok to just open the door and walk into the apartment when they wanted.  I said "Lock your door!!" but my advice went unheeded.

NYPD even has a QUIZ! on when to lock your door!  I took the quiz and the NYPD is very happy with me, apparently.

You can take the quiz too!

So, good advice #1: lock your door.

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Back in 2009 when I went to London, I met up with the amazing and beautiful Soulbrush.  We went on a ferry ride down the Thames, and we stopped to get tea from one of those outdoor food stands.  (I loved that they had tea as a matter of course).  When we finished our tea, Joss asked me if I needed the spoon.  I said no.  So she took it, saying that her husband, Neil, said "Always carry a spoon with you.  You never know when you might need one."

Ironically, later that same evening in my hotel room I needed a spoon and there was none to be found.  So I remember that advice every time I travel and am not staying with a friend- I always pack a spoon.  And it has truly come in handy.

Good advice #2: always carry a spoon.

2 Posts in One Day!

I gave a quick call to Soulbrush today. She has such good vibes, and I came home and immediately started a new painting. Lovely silky wonderful oils. I missed them.

Will post the painting when it is done, hopefully next week sometime.

Cactus Monday (#61)

Senita and NellY went walking in London
But as they crossed The Strand
They looked RIGHT instead of left...
And that is how they became...

SIDEWALK ART



Next week: Don't miss how Senita and NellY reincarnate!

Really Quick b/c I'm Tired

Am up too late. Must sleep. Have actually been workking. Hard. Can you imagine. Have to do it again tomorrow.

Have also discovered the hard way that the fridge in my hotel room is not actually cold. Not at all. Shouldn't even be called a fridge. Am too tired to bother checking to see if it's plugged in or not. The milk's already gone bad so it's not worth checking.

The cereal is ok though.

Am still loving every second of London. The Jack the Ripper tour was fabuloso.

I am going to see Soulbrush tomorrow. Can't wait.

Soulbrush

It is a rare thing in life to find someone who is such a kindred spirit that they immediately take up permanent residence in your heart. And Soulbrush is a rare lady indeed. For one thing she has pink hair. For another, she's crazy. Which is why I am very proud to present this special, unique, and extremely prestigious award:


(showing off my mad Photoshop skillz hee hee)

We spent 9 hours together and talked the entire time. And we're not done talking so she's invited me over to dinner Thursday night. And you know what that means: I GET TO MEET SNUFFLES! (and hopefully Maggie but not guaranteed)

This morning we met at Trafalgar Square and talked for a while. Then we went to the National Gallery for a few minutes so I can say I've been there. Unlike New York, you cannot take any pictures whatsoever AT ALL even without a flash NO EXCEPTIONS.

Here is the pic I took when the guard wasn't looking:



We left very quickly afterwards.

Then we went walking down...well I forgot what street but we went to a little tourist shop and bought....



...matching condoms!

Aren't these hilarious?



Here's what we did next:



I pet the horse and the sign was wrong: he did not bite me.

We went on a boat down the Thames. It was beautiful.



We walked across London Bridge.



Then we went to this supercool pub that had actual gravestones in the garden.





WE SAW A GHOST behind the resident garden gargoyle. Check this out: what do you think?



Then we went for a beautiful and proper Afternoon Tea. Which turned out to be a British/South African Afternoon Tea, because Soulbrush and I both had tea from South Arica with British scones and meringues. It was pure heaven.



Speaking of South Africa, that country won't leave me alone. I keep meeting things/people South African. Soulbrush herself is South African. I found a South African place here:



And I'm staying right across the road from here:



The cool thing about not having to pay for this trip is I can do more shopping!!!!! Daya made out exceptionally well today. I will have to get very creative when packing my suitcase. Soul, THANK YOU for the beautiful gifts you bought for Daya. And my funky tea cozy.



Here are some night photos:







Soul, THANK YOU for such an amazing and FUN day!!! Can't wait to see you Thursday!!

Quick-Quick

1. London: I am not there yet. I'm going from the 18th to the 24th. Booked the flight today. Since I am taking the red-eye flight Saturday night, I get to go business class! YEAH! The best part of the trip will, of course, be meeting SOULBRUSH. I don't mean to brag or anything, but meeting Soulbrush is worthy of jealousy.

2. Daya still loves school and is doing very well.

3. I have decided to start the Abs Diet! Am very excited. Now, I don't really need to lose weight as I'm still a size 4 but I'd like to tone a little and get into a healthier dietary lifestyle. I have never ever offcially dieted before. And probably I should eat more meals- I do tend to skip a lot, which is bad.

4. Art, or lack thereof: *sigh*

5. Daya had her first emergency (sort-of) medical experience. She stuck a green plastic heart shaped bead up her nose. One of the ladies at the school saw it when Daya was laying on her back. It was the kind of thing you would never see unless you were at exactly the right angle with light. We think the bead was from another girl's jewelry or hair ornament. I have no idea how long it was up there. She's fine and sufficiently traumatized to know never to stick anything in her nose or ears.

6. Latest unpleasant thing I've had to do: bathe my cat. She was really stinky. The stench has not returned, so we are both relieved.

7. You know the saying there's nothing new under the sun? I might have possibly challenged that. I cut my finger on spaghetti sauce. Not on the jar, on the actual sauce. I was reheating leftovers and some sauce had dried on the rim of the jar. But it's still a little embarassing to cut your finger on spaghetti sauce.

I sincerely hope you are well, and I apologize for not checking anyone's blog recently. Usually I do that at work, but I've been swamped. Imagine, having to work at work. Boo.