Unicorn Synchronicity

I'm a little behind on my blog, I have some updates from Halloween etc but they'll wait.

Because something very major happened today.

This afternoon my landlord called to offer me a new apartment.

A big 2 bedroom, in the same building.

It's on the top floor so no upstairs neighbors.

This eliminates a massive stressor and anxiety I have been living with for 20 years.

Noise from upstairs especially- and also the courtyard behind me- have caused me a lot of distress over the years.  My current neighbors now are ok, they are just doing normal life stuff but I hear it.  (I can even hear the guy upstairs peeing.) I just tolerate it because you just kind of have to.  It's the music-blasting that really wrecks my nervous system...not normal living noise. I still have PTSD from my neighbors from 2019-2022 who BLASTED their music, drums and bass taking over everything.
My current neighbors don't do that, I have no complaints against them.

But I still live in anxiety of what if they move and I get loud music blasters again?

And I just deal with the overhead noise.

In this new apartment... no one is above me.

It's an end of hallway apartment so I don't really share most of my walls with anyone.

It is a quiet apartment, and I am probably the quietest person in NYC so that fits.

It is a unicorn apartment and I happen to be a unicorn so that fits, too.

My rent will go up by $200 a month, but I can afford it.
I can make it work.

It's worth it.

I will be paying $600 below market rental value, and right now I'm paying about $300 below market rental value. It's rent-stabilized.

If Daya stays here she'll help with expenses too. That'll also be good for both of us.

I'm not going to worry about the rent.

I am always provided for.

And I get to keep everything I love about living here- I am happy in the building, it's well-managed, I love the location...all of that remains the same. And it won't cost me anything to move, aside from needing some things for the new apartment.

It is in my landlord's financial best interest to get me out of this apartment, and he knows I'm not going anywhere on my own.

So he made me a really good deal.

He'll gut-renovate, raise the rent to the legal rent instead of the below-market preferential rent I pay, and charge more for this one-bedroom than what I will be paying for a brand new renovated bright big 2- bedroom apartment on the top floor.

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I'll give him my decision on Monday, yes, and I'm ready to sign the papers and give the security deposit.

FREAKY THING: This came exactly to-date 20 years since I moved in here.

My first reaction when he called was extreme overwhelm.

But it's just such a good offer.

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Daya has been INCREDIBLE.

She wants to step in and take over all the things that scare and overwhelm me and that i just don't know how to do.

She knows how to do those things AND she likes doing them!

She told me I'm not alone this time.

She is gentle with me in my fear and anxiety and stress.

She also said this changes the way she thinks about living with me- I know she hates this apartment and it does hold a lot of years of hard history. I understand why she doesn't want to be here.

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On a personal note, I have been doing some intense internal clearing since mid-September.

I have been working with an energy healer who I have worked with since 2021- basically to clear energies that have been stored in the body. Release.

It works. 
I have cleared abandonment- personal and generational (that took 3 sessions), effects of my circumstance on being a mom, emotional effects of my eyes on my life, and I have one session next week in which I'm going to clear the stored energy I hold in my body from parenting from 2015 to present. And we'll do a final sweep and then I'll need a break, it's a LOT.

I feel different in my body and my frequency has definitely shifted higher.

I feel less dense, I feel space where those old emotional energies were.

But I'm ready to let go of old outdated life things and step into a new life phase- I just didn't expect my dream apartment- literally- to come with it!

So, this massive shift comes at a time that makes sense.

This move is a MASSIVE clearing out.

Also financially, I'll give Daya the last college tuition payment next month and then I'm done.

The new apartment makes some major dreams come true:

1. I will have my own bedroom, WITH A DOOR! That's been my DREAM!!!

2. Noise eliminated- no upstairs neighbors or worries about who might move in.

3. The second and larger bedroom will be my studio and guest room (probably).  I will have an actual dedicated studio room!

I want space for Daya, but she's insisting on this.  We'll make it work.  It's going to be fine.

I always want her to have a place here, a nice space too.

This is very overwhelming, but amazing.

I think my art will dramatically benefit from it as well, with new expanded space.
I feel so constricted in my studio right now.
It's time to grow and expand.

My cats are going to freak out, and I have to figure out how to get Furball into the new place....

All 4 burners on my stove will work! (2 burners on my stover never worked from day 1. I live with 2.)

My fridge won't be falling apart!

This is AMAZING!!!

Also I will have an actual living room and I truly have no idea what to do with a living room.

Daya's job is to figure that out tho.

She's awesome like that.

Gapstow Bridge & How I Made Central Park Much Better

Janae and I met up to paint in Central Park today.

We ended up at the iconic Gapstow Bridge.

I have painted here many times but not for a while.

Despite my hesitation to be in such a crowded area of the park on a Saturday, it was good vibes all around.

Gapstow Bridge is one of those places I revisit from time to time as my painting evolves.

I have painted there in all seasons, in hot summer and snowy winter.

It was good to be back.

This is plein air number 50 for 2026, my personal yearly goal is met.

I am very happy with this painting.

5x10 oil, 2 1/2 hours

Janae took this pic of me painting.

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There are these weird cut-off metal post things near Gapstow bridge.

They are extremely dangerous.

I tripped twice!

Children run around there!

I really should call 311 about it, and I almost certainly will, on Monday.

In the meantime, I made it better and I hope no one gets oil paint on them.

It's Williamsburg Cadmiums, and they take a while to dry.... the turquoise was a nice added touch for additional visibility.

This is the weirdest use of leftover paint....

The For-Reals Really Last After-Work Painting for 2026

I know it's the third time I'm saying this, but this is for reals the last after-work painting for 2026.

The other day I made a super-janky-boathouse-worthy panel carrier for some 5x10 cradled wood panels I got. (I thought it would be a fun size. It is.)  And honestly, I wanted to test it out.

I made it out of a Dr Bronners refill box, tape, and velcro. 
Because I am very lazy I didn't measure anything.

It's pretty awesome, but I wanted to see if it was ok enough to transport panels without smudging them.

Success, my painting got home and out of my wonky panel carrier just fine!

So I went to the office then after, I went over to Elevated Acre at 55 Water to paint Brooklyn.

This is a 1 hour painting.  I finished around 5:30, and sunset was 6:02.

So, it really had to be fast because of the light. 5x10 is smaller than 8x10 and the size does make a difference.

Super-quick sketch to start, just to establish placements.

I was going to put the ferry in from Pier 11, and would have if I had more time but it's ok.

The light goes so fast right before sunset.

I'm counting this one as 49 for the year, one more to goal which I will meet tomorrow.

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View from the office... it's a 360 view but I always sit on the north side of the tower.

Brooklyn and Manhattan Bridges.

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I walked over to 55 Water on no particular route, just general direction.

Since I'm so familiar with the Financial District, this is always fine.

Anyhow, without deliberate intention, I ended up going east on Maiden Lane, which is nearby but not a usual path for me anymore.

And there was 125 Maiden Lane, where I worked when I was pregnant with Daya.

I think??? I was on the 9th floor.

(I also worked in 55 Water occasionally, same company, but at that time I was mainly at 125 Maiden.

There was a time where I had building access to 125 Maiden, 55 Water, and 100 Wall.)

I'm really glad to be back in the Financial District instead of Times Square.

There's a thing I do when I find myself in places like this that I was in during significant and difficult times in my past- my current self tells my past self that everything is going to be ok.

I have several spots like this around the city.

But it's been years since I was in front of 125 Maiden, despite being in the vicinity all the time.

There is something nice about revisiting from a different and much better place in life.

Meatpacking District

There's a lady I recently found out about who is a very good plein air painter- and also at my intensity- who invites people to paint with her.

I was going to paint today anyhow but didn't pick out a location, so I just joined her group and went to her location in the Meatpacking District.

This painting took 2 1/2 hours and kind of melted my head, it was a bit intense.

There is a LOT going on.

A good mental workout!

When I started the painting I reverted to a linear layout- which I realized quickly wasn't working at all for me. So I ditched that approach and did the mental shift to working only with shapes, mixing the paint as I went.

I think this is the way to go for me, especially for buildings- seeing everything in shapes of color, no lines. It's definitely more enjoyable.

As is normal for me, although this is an alla prima oil painting, it's worked in three layer-stages.

I knew at the start the mural was the focal point, and so is the only area of the painting at full chroma.  Everything else is colored grays.

A stupid bus came along and parked in the lower right so I had to improvise that area from memory.

Whatever.

8x10 oil

Beginning block-in:

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This morning when I was packing to paint, I realized I'm almost out of the Gamsol I bought last November. (which was maybe a half gallon)

And I'm still mad that I can't buy a gallon jug anymore.

So after painting I walked over to Blick and bought eight (8) of the largest size Gamsol bottles which comes out to 2.11 gallons.

It cost about $167.

In 2022, 2 gallons would have been around $110.

Prices are going up so fast, that's why I decided to buy a 3 to 4 years' supply of solvent.

I require clean solvent to paint, and if you know me for 5 seconds you'll know I paint A LOT.

While I almost never (these days) add thinner to my paint, I can't make cleaning brushes between colors without solvent work well for me. Plus I don't like pigment going down the drain, I'd rather it goes in the solvent which settles and self-cleans.

I need the quantity because I always have solvent in the process of settling. 

I have 2 dump jugs and 2 metal solvent cans which I let dry completely between uses.

One is always ready to go, which is what I require for my severe plein air addiction.

I lose solvent to some minor spillage, but mostly it is soaked up by my oily rags when I wipe the brush after rinsing between colors. Larger brushes go through more solvent too, and I have been using larger brushes lately.

Today's painting is number 47 for 2026, three more to meet my personal goal of 50, I can definitely do that, and of course I plan to do as many as possible.

The Crazy Plein Air Workout

David Nakabayashi texted me and said "Join me on the 7am ferry to Governor's Island and let's paint."

(He has an artist residency there right now.)

Oh, I won't turn down a chance to paint with David.

I steal his painting vibes.

His work has been enormously influential in my growth, the osmosis is very real.

That's why it's important to be around people who are more advanced.

(It's also why I like my egg tempera class so much- the balance of slowing down, and also I'm not the best in the room, so it is the right room.)

So, I woke up at 4am and was down at Pier 11 at 6:45.

David chose the spot- I know Governor's Island ok, but he knows it very well.

There's a very high hill overlook area on Governors Island I never knew about- wow, what a view!

We both knocked out two paintings each in less than 3 hours.

It was very windy in the morning but we persevered.

I painted the Statue of Liberty (again).

Start time 8:01am, end time 9:26am.

8x10 oil

The important thing about this painting I learned is dealing with the sky being very boring.

I did move some clouds over (David painted the good clouds to my left) but mostly 3/4 of this painting is empty sky space.

Not too long ago I would have really obsessed over the gradient- and instead I decided to make that boring blank space more interesting through brushwork.

I am realizing how much my painting approach has changed- especially when dealing with subject matter I've painted several times before.

Speed is not the goal- I track the time for personal data purposes, but it's something that comes through experience and repeated problem solving.

We both painted the skyline for painting number 2.

This second painting took.... 1 hour and 20 minutes!

Whoa!

This is a milestone painting for me.

I have painted the skyline a bunch of times before but never like this, and definitely not at this speed.

The World Trade Center is always tough to paint, it's just tricky.

Well, for me at least, and of everything in this painting, I spent the most time on that.

You have to get the shapes just right and of course the light is always changing which makes a big difference in particular on that tower.

And then I just knocked in shapes of color instead of drawing everything.

Indicating, values, and spots of color.

It's a loose painting but still has all the information it needs.

It stretched my head out.

I can see just how far I have come with my plein air work- particularly with the skyline and how to handle the complexity in a simplified way.

My thinking and ability to resolve complexity has improved significantly.

This isn't something I could do in the studio from photos- not at all.

It has to be done repeatedly from life.

I'm so proud of myself for keeping and growing my art through all these difficult years.

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After painting we went back to the house where David's exhibit is on display.

He's so weird!

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Other assorted pictures from today:

Hiding from Sept 11 Stuff

I am hiding from the world today.

It's the 25th anniversary of 9/11, and I want nothing to do with any of it.

MAYBE...maybe... if I feel like it, I'll paint over at Jamaica Bay tonight but I'm not sure.

Last year on Sept 11 I had such a bad and unexpected PTSD attack, and I just want to lay low this year and stay away from all of it, including social media and the news.

I'm feeling ok but also strongly feeling the need to tune everything out.

I can't believe it has been a year since last year already.

Ok I know that statement sounds dumb but I feel like last year 9/11 was ... yesterday.

So, maybe I'll go out and paint later, we'll see.

Ambitious Little Island Composition & MTA Fail

My awesome painter-friend Francis hosted a plein air event at Pier 57 today, free and open to the public.

he did this a few years back and I joined then, too... I think I have improved considerably since the last time I painted on the roof at pier 57! Three years ago, wow...

Anyhow, I was originally aiming to be there at 9, but I was slow this morning so 9 changed to 10 which was fine. 

The closest train for me is the E to 14th street.

When I went to transfer, I saw there was a 10 minute wait for the E...  I know if I stay on the R I would be at Union Square in a half hour. Then I could just transfer to the L.

Time-wise it would come out to the same thing probably, but I didn't feel like waiting.

So I stayed on the R and all was fine until 49th st.

Then we pulled partially into the station and sat.

We sat for a long time.

I should mention at this point that I finished Tea Part 2 right before I left, and figured I had just enough travel time budgeted to not need the restroom until I got to Pier 57.

So, we sat halfway in the station.

I was getting nervous.... the tea was starting to hit....

After more waiting, we finally pulled into the station! Phew!

And then the train went out of service.

There was a Q train in 12 minutes with delays.

With a platform FULL of evicted-train people.

I definitely wasn't going to make it.

The best plan I could think of was get out of the train, walk east to Rockefeller Center, use the restroom, and get on the train downtown from there.

Maybe the F was working, we can hope.....

FWIW the E train also started reporting significant delays.

So, I had no regrets. Whichever way, I would be messed up.

And that's what I did, and this is why I wasn't painting until 11:30 with a stop time between 2:30 and 3.

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I liked the pilings in the water under Little Island.

The first time I did the initial layout, it was a bust.

I had to wipe it and start over, and that was the best decision of the entire painting.

Get it right from the start- otherwise there's no fixing it.

So- this is a very ambitious and complex composition.

It really is. 

On an 8x10 panel, which is actually more difficult than if it was larger.

And I didn't want to do a drawing.

Well, not a line drawing layout.

Lately I'm working a lot with large masses and midtones, holding those tight value ranges before getting too light or too dark. At-tube consistency paint, lots of hog bristle brushes. (Rosemary Ultimates)

It's a mind-shift, a gradual one, and it's a good one but it takes a lot of practice. 

I'm evolving and improving, I really can feel it, I can feel the ways in which I think through the painting are changing.

And after all, a painting is made up of thoughts.

I don't want to make a fiddly drawing and fill in lines, that's not how I paint and it's not fun.

So I massed in the large shapes- which is easy to do in pure landscape and distant skylines but applying it to this painting was somehow different.

Also, I always lay in the sky first and today I did not.

(It was only slightly problematic)

This is a three hour painting, and for about 2 1/2 of those hours I was wondering what the hell I got myself into, I'm in trouble, how do I keep this from disaster?

It finally came together and I learned a lot doing it.

8x10 oil