3-31

Hey, March is just about over!
A good way to end the month is to draw, so that's what I did.

Here is the 1 hour pose which actually is a 45 minute pose.  I dont know why we always call it an hour.
The model was in Sweden and her cat came to say hi so I included her.

45 min pose

Conte pencil on Mi Tientes

20 minute pose, panpastels on black artagain.

Sunday Drawing

Today is a rainy day, not so nice to go out.

But I did go to drawing. I normally don't on Sundays since I try to get out.

It was a good session.

1 mins

7 mins, graphite

20 mins charcoal, paper not ideal

45 mins, panpastel & charcoal on black Mi Tientes.

St Brigid at St Pat's

Number 8, 9 x 12 pastel on Mi Tientes

This one took over 4 1/2 hours.

****************

I am really liking PanPastels for these.

I did tweak my custom St Pat's PanPastel Palette, I think it worked out ok except I kind of want a non-tinted yellow ochre in there, so I might tweak it again. Have to figure out what to remove.
I think the earth red should be a yellow ochre.

And I did use the purple today! 

It's a bit odd I am in the cathedral so much and doing this series, I really am not a fan of the Catholic church, but I think the beauty of the building goes beyond religion.

Lighting changes, which did not affect me today:

No Spotlight

The lovely colors on the walls came from... actually I'm not sure if lights inside the cathedral but could have also been the sunlight. I was in the front near the entrance.

Spotlight

In-Transit

Which is better:
This illegal Dalmatian or the cereal socks?

5th Ave and 53rd:

Here is a Ronald McDonald Satanist with hot dog socks:

It seems I missed something about Cool Sock Day... I don't have any cool socks that are not the fuzzy around-the-house kind.  

Nightmare

I had a bad dream.

I dreamed I was in a painting-demo-workshop thing (???) and my friend Hua was painting.
The subject was a figure which had intricate rose tattoos on the arms.
It was a large difficult painting.

Anyhow she stepped aside and I was supposed to resume the painting..... I couldn't move the palette which was way too low, and I had to do the whole thing with......

.....a fan brush!!!

It was just awful.

*******
NOTE: I think fan brushes are the absolute cutest brushes, they are my favorite shape-wise but I almost never use them for actual painting. 

This lack of using them has not prevented me from acquiring several over the years.

PanPastel Wednesday

 I mixed things up in drawing tonight!

We are still on the Girl with A Pearl Earring theme.
Simon hates the book so far! It's pretty hilarious. (Simon, not the book.)

We have one more week of it.

Brush tip of the day: I showed my lovely clean conditioned organized brushes to the group.
Simon said you can use Woolite to clean them!
Some recessed cavern in my brain MAYBE vaguely recalls hearing this in college, but it is so forgotten I may as well have never known it, if I ever knew it.
I used my old standby The Masters brush cleaner from Generals, which is a magic substance.

20 mins, charcoal and panpastel on grey toned strathmore:

1 hour, panpastel and charcoal on black mitientes:

Deep-Conditioned!

I have thoroughly cleaned, deep-conditioned, and organized the entire Brush Farm. It took 2 days.


My beautiful clean conditioned brushes make me so happy! :)

Washington Square Park Part 1

I did go to Washington Square Park today, and Andrew the Pianist was there.

My pack wasn't actually that bad to carry- either I got stronger (unlikely) or I somehow packed less stuff (also unlikely, I only take what I need) but it was not a big deal which I am glad of.

My Yellowstone Box is an absolute joy to paint on.

My large tripod is also an absolute joy.

I started painting at around 11am and ended today's session at 3pm.
The park got suuuuper-crowded, Andrew left at 2:30, and I was just done for the day.

I sliced my hand open with my palette knife and I also got a stupid sunburn on part of my right forearm...time to add sunscreen to my gear.

Here is the park just before 11am, when it isn't so crowded yet:

Day 1...
I know this painting has a ton of errors and is very rough.

It is 11x14 oil.

**********

Notes from today:

Since Andrew is REALLY worth listening to, I did not wear earphones.

I talked to a lot of people.

I met another Pratt grad from Illustration but I didn't want to tell him how old I am when he asked!

Many, many people cane over to give compliments and say hi.

I met a lovely lady who went to Cooper Union back in the day.

An older man asked if he could watch, I said yes, people sometimes ask that and it's not a big deal but he was literally over my shoulder and it just felt really intense... he said "You are too young to have such a shaky arm."

My arm does shake sometimes, I usually need to stabilize. It's not as bad in-studio.

But mahl sticks are a thing, for a reason!
I guess that's normal, I looked it up, but now I wonder if something is wrong with me!

But I also did feel really nervy with him watching so close and intently...I told him so and he was very respectful and left.
Usually people don't get up so close!

It is unnerving to be scrutinized so closely, you can feel specifically watched, it's palpable.

I struggled SO MUCH with that stupid red NYU building.

Maybe it was because I added a little galkyd gel to the paint.... I don't use mediums normally when I paint plein air, I always regret it when I do.... but honestly buildings give me a lot of grief and.... honestly, my buildings kind of suck.

**********

There is a local painter I admire HUGELY, his name is Thor Wickstrom, he does these insane plein air paintings with crazy buildings and writing and....he's a wizard.  And all I could think was Thor would just knock this out like it was nothing.

So it occurred to me to see if maybe he would be willing to let me go out and paint with him one day.
I am of course willing to pay for his wisdom and time.... AND HE SAID YES AND HE WON'T EVEN CHARGE ME!

I'm totally willing to pay though...but wow!

One day I will pay forward this generosity of teaching!

21.8

I am going to paint in Washington Square Park tomorrow.

I hope Andrew the Pianist is there, he's the guy who literally schleps a piano around the West Village, even into the subway on the platform sometimes. (Insta: @andrewtheartist)

I would LOVE to paint him.

For a change, I'm bringing my large setup to paint 11x14.

It's heavy, I don't take it out as much as I would like.

It might be a good idea to use one of those small canvas-enclosed carts with it, I might have to look into that.  Something like this. Right now I'm hands-free with a hiking backpack and I have a thing about being hands-free.

(I don't know the weight on my normal smaller setup, I'll weigh it next time I pack, but it's not a big deal for me to carry around.)

This one really can be.
Tonight I packed it up...... it weighs 21.8 lbs.
Heavy.

But not as heavy as Andrew's piano.

Large Plein Air Gear with Cat

St Pat's #7

I brought panpastels with me today, and they worked out extremely well!
They are exactly what I need, actually.

The priest came over to say hi again, he remembered me from when he said hi a couple of weeks ago.

9x12 on Mi Tientes

The biggest annoyance I have with cathedral-painting is they turn the spotlights on and off.
Honestly, everything looks better with the spotlights but they are only really on for mass so I don't have enough time to get the best lighting effects.

The spotlights had just come on in this picture, it was not the lighting scenario I had to paint from, unfortunately:

Here is the drawing:

*********
I made myself a custom St Pat's PanPastel Palette!
A while ago, Dru sent me her entire secret stash-  Dru, who is a watercolor wizard, acquired a very significant amount of panpastels and never even told me- and one day they just showed up in the mail!!

Of course I already have ALL the panpastels, so these are all duplicates but that's nice because I can keep them in this travel palette and my main collection stays together.

I think it needs some tweaks- I don't think I need the black one after all, and I might ditch the Paynes Grey too, and put in a few more color highlight colors.  That white marble is so nice, especially with the spotlights on and the windows reflect everywhere.

I like this view, this is with the spotlights on, I don't really know why they insist on turning them off.

More Vermeer Drawing!

I attempted to channel my inner David Kassan for the 1 hour pose tonight. 

He uses a black panpastel on (Mi Tientes smooth side!) grey paper with the triangle sofft tool, along with Generals charcoal pencils.

It's a nice way to work, and it's also a good thing I have All The Art Supplies so when I see a demo, I can just pull out whatever they are using (usually) because I already have it!

1 hour pose

20 mins, graphite
I was trying to see value-shapes.

The 7 minute poses, I like them.

Colliding Thoughts

So, I have mentioned I'm doing a Ken Goshen class and it is *so good* I also joined his Patreon.
He isn't a dogmatic teacher, not at all, in fact quite the opposite- he has his way of doing things but heartily says if you don't like it do something you like.

But the reason we work with a teacher is for their perspective, insight, and experience.
And teachers are influential.
Eventually after we learn from them, do it their way for a while, we then must make our own combinations/ perspectives.

And one of the best reasons to branch out from one person's way of doing things is because different people have different perspectives. And it's also easy to get pigeon-holed into one person's way of thinking or one system's dogma and not do something because they don't do it and we admire them.

**********
Yesterday Drawing America hosted an *amazing* guest-sketch session with David Kassan.
(His wife is also a phenomenal painter, go look up Shana Levenson.)

Although David worked from life, he uses photos a lot.
Kevin Wueste does, too.
I believe Ken Goshen doesn't but I could be wrong about that, he might occasionally.

But in both these examples, both David and Kevin (and Ken) are serious indisputable masters when it comes to working from life/drawing/everything.

I don't know where I am going with this except it is nice to see that balance.
It's cool when different teachers say completely opposite things.

*********
I am finding that so many of the artists I really admire come from the Florence Academy, or have been atelier-trained. For years I have been thinking if my life had allowed it, I would ship myself off to a classical atelier. It takes a few years, is not a college degree, and is *so expensive*....
Grand Central Academy tuition here in NYC is over 12k a year full-time.

I'm really jealous of people who get to do that, get that superior level of training and then get to go professional. I told Leah I wish I could do it, and she said she'd help me think about it, and I could probably make it happen in 10 years or so... but I don't want to wait 10 years to get that good!

The training makes the difference. It really does. Not just in technical proficiency, but in knowing people, studio setup, how to be a small business, all of it. The training is such an advantage, it is everything. And getting training like that, in that context, really is not very accessible in general.
It seems to be available to only a fortunate few who have the means and support.
It seems like if you don't have a good life setup to begin with, it's impossible.

I know this isn't entirely true, but it does seem to be a very common theme.

*********
I don't know where my art is going but I would like it to go...somewhere, more professional.
My life is transitioning now that Daya is older.
I never stopped painting through these many hard years, although I was significantly slowed down.
So now I am at a point where I have more freedom than I have had..... well, ever- (full time job and covid notwithstanding) ...... and while I practice a lot I need to have more direction.

I don't have a cohesive body of work, not really.

I definitely want to do:

• More Topiary Cats
• Plein air
• Cathedral series (ongoing)
  
• More master copies
• ????

*******
Being an artist often means being uncomfortable, and I am feeling very uncomfortable right now.
It's ok and necessary to feel artistically uncomfortable but it still sucks.

Sometimes exposure to people who are so skilled, so advanced, is intimidating.
And they get to have lives that are in all ways defined by their art. They are masters. They have the freedom and life setup to just make art at a really masterful level.  Because it does take an enormous amount of time. They admire each other and respect each others' work, they are all in that circle of master professionals.  I think that must be a wonderful existence.

*******
COOL PAINTING TIP THAT I SOMETIMES DO ALREADY THAT DAVID KASSAN DOES!!!!

Many years ago Drusilla gave me these really nice binoculars.
I keep them in my plein air gear and use them sometimes.
I also bring them to the cathedral and use them sometimes there, too.

David Kassan uses them when painting from life in the early stages in his studio!
He had a bad spot in a drawing class once and saw a lady using opera glasses....which he thought was brilliant, and he started doing it too! So it's kind of cool to know he does this, and it is also part of my gear!

Since my cataract surgery I have to use them through reading glasses (or my multifocal contact lens but I never wear that when I go out) and I'm sure I look weird but I don't care.

Thanks Dru!!

Duchesse Finished

I'm calling this done.

Carmen Aguado, duchesse de Montmorency, after Franz Xavier Winterhalter (1805-1873)
9x12 oil

St Patricks # 6

I was going to do a ceiling composition but my head wasn't up to it.

9x12 on Artagain, which is a very smooth paper, smoother than Mi Tientes.
Still don't know which I prefer.

I need to... turn a corner (pardon the pun) with these but I'm not there yet and I'm trying to not get repetitive.  I liked the blue glow on the right side wall, with the much brighter left-side windows, which is why I chose this particular composition.

It still feels awkward and I guess I'm trying to find my balance, which can only be done by doing more.
I also think I'm still too literal. Will need to play around with that, too.

Art is hard.

Artistic (?) Fatigue

My art-brain feels strained, since Wednesday.
I find this to be insanely annoying, to be honest, because I want to paint but my head is tired.
AND I have to go cathedral-paint tomorrow so I hope my head can get it together and start working again.

I have not finished my Winterhalter Duchess.
But I did start another little studio painting so I could try Arches oil paper, which is lovely.***

On Tuesday I taught 2 classes on perspective to Leah's students.
We had to account for global time zones, so that's why the class ran twice, and both sessions were really different.
It was a lot of work but also really fun.

***I found out about this paper from my Ken Goshen class.
Also, I decided to join his Patreon because I'm finding his painting instruction to be super-excellent.
So I have been playing his videos a lot this week.

So much painting focus, maybe that's why I'm tired.
Or maybe it is the season change that is in the air.
Last night I could only paint for an hour, and this morning too.

It's weird to be very motivated to work, but yet my brain feels so strained and doesn't want to do anything!

One Year

Today one year ago was the last day I worked in the office.

They said two weeks....ha!
Tomorrow will be one year since Daya's last real day of school.

Drawing on Wednesday

We are still on the Vermeer theme, since we are listening to Girl with a Pearl Earring.

I did feel a bit off tonight, that happens sometimes. But it is still good to show up and practice.

20 mins

7 minutes (I like these)

 1 minute poses

1 hour-ish

Glaze layer 3...still going.......

I can't get the photo quite right but .... I think...... one more layer ought to finish this off.
About 2 1/2 hours on layer 3 this afternoon....and I'm getting to that point where I'm ready to be done with her.  The hair needs another layer for sure, and a few touch-up areas in the face and background.
She has a few minor drawing issues because I didn't put in the time I should have, but I fixed a few of them today and the rest are minor enough that I'll just live with it.

Maybe by Wednesday she'll be ready for layer 4.
Then I'm calling her done.

She's 9x12 oil.

Fight with Winterhalter, Glazing, & Lead White

Today I really should go out painting but I woke up too early then woke up too late.
I had a dream the cat puked and I cleaned it up, and when I woke up the cat really had puked and I cleaned it up.

I cannot get a break from cat puke.

Anyhow.

**********
I am in Old Masters mode. Hardcore. Whoa.

Early-ish last month I decided to do an old master copy, 
I'm doing Carmen Aguado, Duchesse de Montmorency, 1860, by Franz Xaver Winterhalter.
(Her painting lives in Versailles)

I started it first the wrong way and had a huge fight with Winterhalter, and ended up starting over because it really was very unfixably wrong because I was not putting the focus in.
When doing these copies, and painting in general, I think it is good practice to ask for help from the ghosts of artists past.

So Winterhalter and I had a chat fight.

He said glaze it.
I said No, I don't want to do that, I don't like working like that, I like direct painting.
He said glaze it.
The Duchess said Fuck you.
I said ok fine, but I'm doing the charcoal drawing right on the panel.
Winterhalter sighed, painfully.
The Duchess said Fuck you.

So I did the drawing and it didn't occur to me to use fixative on it until my Ken Goshen class last week, but by then it was a month too late. I had a little trouble with the vine charcoal and the paint but not too much.

I did.... not a grisaille exactly, because I used Rublev's amazing lovely Italian Green Umber, not black, so an...Umberaille?

Umberaille
Rublev Italian Green Umber and Titanium White
(No black, you want the grisaille to be slightly lighter in value, the glazes will darken it a bit.)

Glaze Layer 1
I thought I would be clever and change the blue to a viridian color.
Then I decided I should stick to the original colors. (Although she would probably look pretty good with viridian.)

In the first glaze layer I used Gamblin's solvent-free gel.

OMG I LOVE GEL MEDIUMS but that is nothing new. I use them a lot.
But this layer took a week to dry!! I was not expecting that.
I know glazing paintings involves a ton of waiting for it to dry, but we live in modern times and have good solutions to that so.......

Glaze Layer 2

I switched to Gamblin's Galkyd gel, which should dry in a day or 2.
Photographing her is harder than painting her!

I also pulled out my Cremnitz white.
This is a situation that calls for beautiful luminous lead.

I don't know how many glaze layers to do....... some areas will need more work than others.
But she is ready for layer 3. And she does not photograph well.
I'm happy with her though, she's getting nice and glowy.
Her forehead needs a very slight fix, her hair needs work, background needs more layers, her dress needs more work... but I'm pleased with her and as it turns out I am seriously LOVING the glazing process! Winterhalter was right. :)

I hope to have the Duchess finished this week or next, depending on drying time and however many layers she needs.

********

I pulled out my old WN Crenmitz. (PW1)
WN doesn't make it anymore.
Several years ago lead got very hard to find, which is unfortunate for us oil painters.
It was mostly due to EU regulations and dangerous industrial use.
Art pigments are a tiny market relatively speaking.  Industrial and manufacturing is primary.
Whatever goes on there impacts paint.

I stocked up on flake white when they discontinued it. Flake white is lead + zinc.
Cremnitz is just pure lead. I don't use it for direct painting much but for portrait glazing and old master copies it is the best white out there. It has a beautiful consistency and is warm and translucent. It is chemically stable, acts as a drier, and gives a wonderful glow. 

I had trouble opening the tube so had to run it under hot water, which kind of messed up the label.... this tube is now a relic of the past but the paint is still good!

I also picked up a new tube of Michael Harding Cremnitz.
You can still get lead from Michael Harding, Rublev, Old Holland has it for an extraordinary price, I think so does Vasari (also for an extraordinary price). 

I think Rublev and Michael Harding are the way to go, now.

I LOVE LEAD

WHY PAINT WITH LEAD?

The first reaction everyone has when they find out I have zero issue painting with lead is OMG THAT IS SO DANGEROUS!! YOU WILL DIE AND KILL EVERYONE AROUND YOU AND YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING BECAUSE YOU AREN'T ACTUALLY A "PROFESSIONAL" ARTIST!!

Yeah, I have had several encounters where I knew more about materials than even long-time "professionals".
I can swim just fine in the professional materials-talk water.
And I have been dismissed by people asking me questions and not believing me because I'm not a "professional"- which only means that's how you pay your bills.

Just because painting doesn't pay my rent doesn't mean I should be dismissed, I do have the training and definitely have a "professional" level of study.

Guess what, lead isn't dangerous when bound in oil.
It does not absorb through the skin as oil paint, but use as makeup is a bad idea. (Ceruse was water, vinegar, and lead. That being said, I definitely would not spread lead oil paint on my face! )

Lead is highly toxic when ingested or inhaled.
It is especially and tragically dangerous to small children.

And its historic use in makeup was deadly. 

So, no you don't want your walls painted with it!! That IS dangerous!

And you also never want to sand a panel in which lead was used...well I suppose you could wet sand it but I wouldn't. And you do NOT want to mull your own lead paint. 

Lead white is not dangerous in a fine arts oil painting context.
Don't eat your lead paint, don't sand lead-painted panels, or spread it on your face. and you'll be fine.

And your paintings will glow.

Very popular cadmiums DO absorb through the skin barrier.
I like them too but am careful about it.