June 30 Drawing

Here is the 1 hour pose from tonight, still going through Game of Thrones.

Graphite on grey paper

Sunday

 Daya and I are in a fight.

I just can't anymore.
Yesterday was so, so nice and I was just so glowingly proud of her.... then BOOM she gave me a really un-called for nasty attitude over a really basic question I asked her about her intensive.

What did I ask? "Who else from LaGuardia is in the intensive with you?"

And she wouldn't answer.
Said it was a matter of 'personal boundaries" and "Not information I need to know."

WHAT?

This is literally public information....the names are on the program. I'm just not sure who is LaG, aside from a couple of kids.

I just can't. I feel sucker-punched.  I feel like her general attitude is just a huge slap in the face, especially coming after a MOUNTAIN of support I have given her this week. Not to mention the amount of money that has come out of this household THIS MONTH ALONE just for her to be able to dance. This really, really hurts. It makes me feel like garbage to get such a nasty attitude after all the support I give her.

I plan and save MONTHS ahead of time for her to be able to do this.
I go without other things, I can't catch up on certain things because of this.

$950 in tuition, dance clothes, pointe shoes, tickets, recordings, transportation.......JUST THIS MONTH. And I'm not even done yet with summer dance expenses!

And that's all me. My aunt has been helping with year-round MYB tuition, but that summer number is all me.

Daya's classes run til 9:30pm and she gets home 10:15-10:20pm.

So I have helped her. I have made sure she has a nice homemade dinner to come home to every night, I have made phone calls, written emails, sent texts, done paperwork- all oh her behalf for dance- taken time out of my busy work day to get her covid tested, I have been supportive verbally, and I even did her laundry for a last-minute emergency which I never do!!

And she gives me the worst of her heart.
Stinky rotten attitude over something so stupid and simple.
It isn't an isolated incident.
I can't anymore.

I don't mind giving her the support, all I want is to be treated nicely.
Which is too much for her.
So she's on her own this week.  I'm done. I'm not doing anything for her.
Nothing.

Sorry to have a big vent but this is my blog and I'm just really hurting right now.
There isn't another adult to keep her in check, and that's always been a big problem.

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I think my own mother would take great pleasure if she knew I was having a hard time like this.
It would make her glad.
She's mean like that.
I can hear her voice in my head laughing at me- not in a nice way- and telling me it serves me right and I deserve it.
She would really enjoy knowing I'm having a hard time with my teenager.

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I did go down to the boathouse for most of the day and spend my time volunteering and being around really nice people. And I went out on the water which was nice.

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And before anyone says therapy- Daya won't go. I'd love to but she won't.
And yes I have done plenty of it for myself.

Roosevelt Island Tram & Dance Performance

Daya has dance performances today and I had tickets to the 3pm performance.

But I really wanted to get out and paint, so I went to Roosevelt Island.

I painted the 59th street bridge again, with the tram, looking at Manhattan this time.

8x10 oil

about 2 1/2 hours

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Daya did great in her dance performance with Earl Mosley.

Seriously, it was a great show.

Here she is with her best friend, who is also in the program.

I did not take these pictures.

(Daya won't smile for me.)

New Working Email Subscription!

Look over to the right!

I think I have found a good and free solution to email subscriptions.
All three of them!

I think it works?
You might get an email about it.

You will not get spam.

If you have problems tell me about it and I'll help!

Liquin Verdict

I went out painting after work.

I wanted to get out of my apartment, do some practice, and also give the liquin a go.

Here is an 8x10, it took about an hour and a half:

Setup:

                                 

My friend lives nearby and she came over to chat for a while.
Many really super-nice people came by as well.

This is Forest Hills, a residential neighborhood. People liked that I was painting there.

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Ok, liquin.

I used so. much. liquin! in college.

Because it dries the paint really fast, overnight.

And then I stopped because I didn't need overnight drying time and there are other things I just like better, to be honest.

The same things I don't like about liquin I still don't like about liquin.

The bottle is plastic now not glass anymore.

Liquin original is too soupy to go in a tube but I really think it ought to come in a squeeze bottle.
It's just such a pain to get out of the jar- you either get not enough or way too much.  Ugh.

The packaging is awful.

But as far as paint handling and layering for plein air.......

I *really* like it. Unfortunately.  I wish I didn't.

Liquin Impasto comes in a tube and I might give that a try as well just for the different packaging.

I had (have still somewhere???) an old tube but I can't find it.

ALSO I'm going to have to be really careful about keeping my brushes clean.

(My new brushes are awesome, what a difference!)

Actual Knight in Shining Armor!

We had an actual knight in shining armor in drawing!

@just_a_jouster on Instagram, check him out!

20 mins

45 mins

Last-Minute Intensive

After Daya's stunning performance at the Manhattan Youth Ballet shows, Earl Mosley personally invited her to attend his summer intensive.

I think I mentioned it previously.

Anyhow, since Daya did not audition or apply or....anything, one of her teachers was my contact point for helping me know what to do.  The show was June 6th.  This intensive started June 20th, yesterday.

So right after the show I texted her teacher to inquire what should I do.

And I didn't hear back.

For a week.

So I texted again.

I got a reply only this past Wednesday for a program that started on Sunday.

She said go on the website and fill everything out, and she will take care of the rest.

So we did.

And never heard back.

I have to admit I was pretty upset.

Because it was really special for Daya to have received a personal invitation.

She was the happiest I have seen her for a long time.

She is never happy around me these days.

(I'm pretty sure she's ok around other people but not with me.)

And the teacher who was handling it is someone Daya particularly loves.

So it hurt a bit to receive an offer like that and then not get a response.

I told Daya I felt upset about it and it wasn't a good way for her to be treated.

I also told her it the compliment still was quite valid.

Daya didn't acknowledge her upset, which concerns me.

She just said it's fine, it is what it is.

But it had to be upsetting to her........

She holds a lot in, I think. 

I felt concerned by her lack of reaction.

Today we went for more pointe shoes and tights and other pointe-shoe related stuff.

And while we were on the train over to OnStage, I checked my email and there was a long note from the Earl Mosley people saying they know it's super short notice but she can come in today!

So she's in!!!

Classes are in the evenings.

I don't know what the delay was but today is the first real day of classes since yesterday was just level placement.  And they already placed her.

Well, it didn't give us any time at all and she was very late and probably missed ballet, which they knew about but I'm just so happy it did come through!!

So now she's dancing 6 evenings a week for the next 2 weeks, with performances for the next 2 Saturdays.

There are forms I need to return and she needs a covid test tomorrow morning since she is only half-vaccinated.  And I can't get the medical form until Sunday.  But they are still letting her go and I'm really happy it all worked out.

New Brushes

I'm struggling with my painting outdoors because many of my most-used plein air brushes are dead.

These are mostly brights.  

Small square brushes. They are my favorites.

They are totally dead.

Usually it is a good rule to use larger brushes, and I do, but I also find that I really do need smaller brushes for architecture stuff, and I'm usually working pretty small.

My small brushes seem to wear out much faster than my larger brushes.

I got 16 new brushes today at Blick, just enough of each to get the bulk discount.

Bulk discounts are great, and I'm painting enough these days that it makes the most sense.

The ones on the left- the black handles with the colored stripes- are Utrecht brand.  I really like them but they don't last long, unfortunately.

The middle ones are a Blick line I haven't tried before.

The blue ones are Princetons, and they are a recurring favorite.

My other favorite are the Simply Simmons synthetics 9in the top picture), but I can only seem to find them online.  They are inexpensive and hold up well,

Maybe one day I'll get some small Rosemary Ivories and see how they hold up.

Rosemary Brushes are the best and the ones I have and use have help up for a really long time.

So maybe their small brushes will also hold up ok.

I hope these last me at least through the Fall!

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Thor Wickstrom uses liquin.

Michael Chamberlain uses liquin.

Ken Goshen uses liquin.

Stapleton Kearns uses liquin.

David Nakabayashi uses liquin.

I have not really used liquin since college. (And I used a lot of it back then!)

I like gel mediums in-studio, or a mix of oil and solvent, and for plein air I don't use anything.

When I do, I regret it because the paint gets too slippery and I can't layer.

But Thor said David uses a lot of liquin for plein air, so I asked him about it last night.

Liquin is a drier but it takes about 24 hours.

But David says it sets up while he is painting.

That's pretty interesting so I also got some fresh liquin to take out painting. I want to give it a try since everyone else seems to be able to use it effectively.

Worst thing that happens is I hate it outdoors, but I can still always use it in-studio.

There must be something to it, though.

Pete Sinjin Show

There is a local artist here named Pete Sinjin.

He paints with Thor Wickstrom sometimes.

Anyhow he's an amazing painter and he had a show in Brooklyn.

I went with my friend Kedrin.

You can see his work here:

https://www.instagram.com/petesinjin/

It was a beautiful show, and SO NICE to be at an art opening again!!

I met Pete, he is a lovely person.  Wonderful energy.

I kept thinking something about him was vaguely familiar but couldn't place it until I was looking for his website to put on this blog with the instagram.

And I found it:

He's friends with Michael Chamberlain, who I do not know but I follow his youtube channel and binged on it pre-covid.

Pete is on there with Michael:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X8kFH4HPOMc

I guess it is a small world, and these guys all seem to know each other.

Pete is also down to paint together this summer.

That would be really cool.

David Nakabayashi was also there with his lady Jenny.  I have mentioned him several times, he did that Union Square painting that blew my mind.  David is also a super nice guy.  He lives close to the show and invited me and Kedrin over afterward to show us paintings and meet the dog.

David is also down to paint together.

That would be pretty wonderful, to go painting with these guys.

I admit I feel a little weird being the only girl, and I'm also younger than all of them, but they are really nice and friendly, it's all about painting so I think it will be ok and not weird. 

Thor did add me on a text thread with David and Pete and asked earlier this week of anyone wanted to join him painting.  I couldn't because of work. But that was nice to be included.

It was really such a lovely evening and so good to be out.

59st St Bridge from Roosevelt Island

Here is an 8x10 painting from Roosevelt Island.

There were kitty cat paw prints on my toned panel!

Drawings

Here are some drawings from Wednesday.
We switched to Game of Thrones.

35 mins

7 mins

The Fearless Girl

This morning i went back downtown to finish my painting.

There were a lot of significant challenges.

She's not in a nice spot, aesthetically.

So that background was a challenge.

Also, tourists.

So. Many. Tourists.

I'm glad tourists are coming back to the city, we need the revenue.

But this painting really took a long time because  for most of it, I just couldn't even see the statue.

She is only 4 feet tall and was hard to see.  I did use a zoomed-in photo on my phone for the face.

I think I got the face angle a little wrong but the rest of the gesture I am happy with.

I may paint her again from behind, showing the pose with the NYSE.. 

After I painted I went down to volunteer at the boathouse.

I will be there every weekend unless something comes up and I can't.... but I really like it down there.

There was a sushi party at the boathouse today after closing... I could have stayed to hang out with some really cool people but I was pretty wiped out so I went home.

I am SO GLAD to be back in Lower Manhattan!

The New Office

We are moving downtown to the Financial District.

I am so so so SO glad to be back downtown!
Times Square was (mostly) ok for 15 years, but it is a time of change.
I was in the Financial District before Times Square, and it feels like coming back home.

Most likely I will still be working from home until September or October.
And things will be different with the new office.
I won't be there 5 days a week probably.

I'm ok with it.

The views in the new office are really something.
I am switching the view from midtown and the ew Year ball to the Statue of Liberty. (Again).

I LOVE the Statue of Liberty, I always have since I was a child.
So I'll gladly switch the ball for her.

From the 58th Floor:

I saw my work team for the first time since March 2020.  It was SO NICE to see everyone.

We all went out for a lovely lunch at the Seaport.

Here is a view of Trinity Church from Wall Street.

The Fearless Girl statue moved from standing in front of the Bull to standing in front of the NYSE.

I started painting her today after lunch but...... un-forecasted rain started so I quit.

I'll finish tomorrow.

Wednesday Drawing

2 drawings from weds, 30 mins and 20 mins.

Charcoal and graphite.

We are still going through The Mists of Avalon.

A Hardship

This is where Isis spends about 85% of her life:

Yep, right in front of the toilet.

This is extremely awkward and inconvenient.

It is important to note the cat does not move for anything.

I already had to change the color of the bathroom rugs from dark to light because of the cat, but she was sleeping in front of the sink and bathtub. (And I thought that was bad......)

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LISA this blog isn't going anywhere.

You can follow me on Facebook but I don't post a lot there, usually just paintings without much commentary. Sometimes there's a stupid joke or 2 as well, but not much else.

So I will still be posting here as normal but you just won't get emails about it.

I know it's a bummer.

Maybe bookmark the blog link and check back now and then.

Daya on Stage

Tonight was the last performance of 6 at Manhattan Youth Ballet since Friday.

Daya was in all six performances, but there were 2 casts so she was in 2 dances for three performances, and 1 in the other three.

She killed it.

I never get to see Daya dance and she hasn't been on a stage since May 2019.

(Two years. Wow.)

It's one thing to know your kid is good and see audition acceptances etc.... but seeing it is really a whole other thing.

When Daya is on stage she's like this different person that I never experience, even living with her.

She can move.

It's pretty astounding, actually.
You have to see it in person to really get it... she's like controlled liquid on stage, it's incredible.

ALL of the dancers are really, really good... but a few have an extra edge...and Daya has it.

It was so good to be back at a live in-person performance!!!!

*************

After the show Daya came upstairs looking shocked and trying not to cry.

She was approached by Clifton Brown and Earl Mosley, who were at the show. (Mr. Mosley choreographed the finale number). These two men are quite famous in the dance world.

They have noticed her, they said they noticed her back in December in the Knickerbocker Nutcracker performance. She has been invited to attend Earl Mosley's summer intensive which she did not audition for.... and immediately the word "scholarship" was thrown out with this offer.

I don't know details about anything but Daya is being noticed by people who matter.
That combined with LaGuardia, Manhattan Youth Ballet, and Move|NYC... she's positioned to have a really amazing professional dance career.  We're on a whole other level here beyond "my kid dances"....

Daya's non-LaGuardia teachers include Daniel Ulbricht, Ashley Bouder,  Shay Bland, and......she's on frequent-conversation-and-hugs-terms with the legendary Deborah Wingert.

My mind is blown at how everything has worked out and continues to, it's so.....strange. Daya is not one of those wealthy ballet girls who grew up with pre-professional training, yet here she is in these crazy circles.

Proud is not the right word, it's inadequate.

It's all mind-blowingly astonishing, to be honest, and I'm extremely grateful and humbled.

Email Subscriptions Going Away

I have been using Feedburner for email subscriptions, and it is going away.

Nothing I have read gives a good alternative.

Unless I can find an alternative before July.
I will keep looking.

I did some reading this morning about maybe migrating over to Wordpress, but it will cost me money no matter what and I don't feel like doubling my website expenses right now. Even my very simple art website costs me a couple hundred $$ a year. And I don't want to add this blog to my art website.

Google says they have no plans to discontinue Blogger, although it is old and no one really uses it.
It is perfect for my needs though. And I think it is a very good platform that has un-utilized potential.

My options are to spend time and money migrating this site or do nothing.

I can migrate all 16 years of blog but I determined that if I don't have to I'm not going to.

So for all three (?) of you who visit (THANK YOU!) I'm really sorry but those auto-emails are going away sometime this month.

Frisbee Plein Air- Literally :(

Today I did a volunteer shift and a kayak class down at the boathouse.

Some pictures:

Afterwards my friend and i went over to the park by the water to paint the last light of the day.

I did not use my tripod today!
The light fades quickly so this painting took an hour.

After it got dark, some teens were still playing frisbee and their frisbee hit my box.  

I got pissed off at them.
I know it wasn't intentional but it was still pretty unfortunate.