topiary cats

topiary cats

Wednesday, May 27, 2026

An Important 180 Perspective Shift

I have to write about a hotline thing because something happened that is personally important to me and how it unfolded was so interesting. 

I was on the hotline last night and I had a call that was hands-down the most severe panic attack I have ever had to deal with. It was a very serious call in all respects, I can't write specifics except to say that 1) it was a very serious call and 2) the caller couldn't breathe enough to speak because of the panic attack.

After unsuccessfully trying to get them to speak I did a quick breathing exercise that got them to the point of getting just enough oxygen so they could begin to speak- and after that, they recovered nicely.  
We talked and the call completely de-escalated in 14 minutes, and- again, it was very serious.

Then I was told we're not allowed to do any breathing exercises.
Wait-- what??
I actually did not know that- even after over 2 1/2 years doing this.
FWIW this situation is an outlier, and I don't think- to my knowledge- I have ever done breathing exercises with anyone before. 
Or if I have, it was a long time ago and I don't remember- the point is this is rare.

And it made zero sense to me.
None.
Because what I did with the caller was extremely effective and was exactly what they needed to get just enough oxygen in their system, and it took maybe 40 seconds. Breathing is the most basic essential thing, especially in a panic attack.

So this gave me an inner conflict, because I had such a strong knowing that I did the right thing for the caller in this particular instance, and then I'm told it's not allowed.

Today I texted the director of crisis management to ask for clarity and his perspective, and can we chat for 5 mins? It was really bothering me.

He said the same stuff I heard last night about it not being in the training, not part of the protocol, we aren't supposed to do it, but even he said he would talk to J, who is the boss of the organization- for even more additional clarity. How can we just let someone keep gasping for air when a fast and simple breathing exercise would fix it? I couldn't get past it. 

In general, I completely understand the policy, I just didn't understand it in the context of this specific rare situation call. And I was locked in my mindset.

He said this does come up from time to time with volunteers- and yet, he took me seriously enough to escalate it even further! That was awesome!

So he called me back and passed on some info.

Yes it's true we should never do breathing exercises.
Why not?
He talked about not problem-solving, not in the training and all that, but what completely shifted my perspective is this:

A breathing exercise is considered "prescriptive".
And we are not mental health professionals.
If it doesn't work to calm someone's anxiety, it could make it worse and there is a possibility of hyperventilation which then is a medical emergency that we would have caused.

And from what I heard, I think that might have happened once, probably a long time ago.

That's what completely shifted my head about it.
Possible medical emergency.
I never even considered the possibility it might not work, because breathing is so basic.
That's what you do for a panic attack.
Total 180 shift for me.

Wow.

This is the thing about the hotline- well, my experience with it anyhow- there is a lot of "wait- WHAT??" and in the context of the hotline, what seems to make no sense actually makes all the sense in the world.

This was a valuable learning experience on many levels.

I can even take it further into the CPR certification at the boathouse.
We occasionally get panicky people there too.
If I am ever in a situation anywhere where someone is having a panic attack so severe they can't breathe, and I can't get them talking, I will never do a breathing exercise with them, I'll just call 911.
If I'm not allowed to do something on the suicide hotline, I'm not doing it anywhere, ever!

This whole experience just goes to show that a little bit of additional knowledge completely changes what we might think is right. It was interesting to observe my own perspective completely shift.

I appreciate all the people who were part of this learning experience.

Monday, May 25, 2026

Opening Weekend

I have been at the boathouse on... Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday.
The weather was terrible- until Monday afternoon.

This is Blue.
Blue is very friendly and wears a muzzle because she eats garbage... once she ate the end of a discarded joint and got high...so she wears a muzzle...


Other assorted pics, I didn't take a lot this year... I'm glad the season is officially open.


Wednesday, May 20, 2026

A Near Miss

Today I went to the office, and now that also means a strong possibility of paddling laps afterwards.

There were forecasted t-storms, but not until later, like 9pm, so I got on the water.

Well, as I was on lap 7, I noticed the embayment had it's own rather large, rather dark cloud hanging overhead.

It didn't look good.

I stopped and looked at the weather.
T-storms heading in earlier, after 7pm now.
It was about 6:45.
I thought, "I should get off the water, NOW."

So I got off the water, cleaned the boat, closed the house, and went home.

When I got home, I saw that I just missed all the trains flooding and shutting down by about 20 minutes!
And it just got worse from there! We had a lot of flooding!
Phew!





Monday, May 18, 2026

Mandatory Paddling & DTBH Art Exhibit

Yesterday Bitz and I decided that since the weather tonight was forecasted to be SO GOOD, paddling was Mandatory.
Hence, Mandatory Paddling.

There are buoys that got fresh paint...they are hanging to dry.
It looks like an exhibit at The Whitney or something, and everyone agrees we should charge admission


I knocked out 12 laps in my Disco!
That's about 9 miles-ish.


Also, I have been a bit obsessed with making fresh pasta in my new KitchenAid, so I made a nice batch of it and we had a nice dinner after paddling.



I'm so glad I can still do my 12 lap workout- wasn't even sore or tired after.
I'm especially glad since I somehow- very suddenly- lost complete motivation a couple months (!!!) ago to do my Crossrope workouts. 

I don't know what's up with me and that, because I do love it.
All my motivation just completely vaporized.
It's my off-season workout.....

Well, now it's time to be on the water.

Thank goodness!

Very soon it will be time to resume my sunrise paddling as well, I'm definitely looking forward to that!

Sunday, May 17, 2026

Dropping Buoys

There is still so much work to do before opening... so today was a work day at the boathouse.

We dropped buoys, and finally it was my first time on the water- though I wasn't out too long.
I'll be back out for real tomorrow- will see if I can still knock out my 12 lap workout.

We numbered all the Drifters this year, what a great idea that was!

While I am eager to get back in my Disco, the Drifters are definitely better for carrying buoys- the weights on the bottom are heavy! Drifters are what we use for the public program and they are basically floating bricks.




Saturday, May 16, 2026

Painting Janet's Yard

I haven't seen my friend Janet for a couple of years... how has it been that long?

Back in March (I think) we picked a day in May and said "We're painting!"
And we did.

I went to NJ on Friday night so we would have an easier, early morning to paint.

This is my first painting from Saturday morning, 9x12 oil:



And the second painting, which was VERY rushed and also on a timer so I could be on time for the bus back to NYC. My timer went off and I decided to take the next bus and finish... still very rushed!

If I feel rushed for time, it stresses me out and I get a little sloppy with the painting.
But it's also a very good exercise in efficiency....
I don't know, I felt stressed but still had fun.

8x10 oil



Janet is so much fun and so wacky- and she's an amazing artist as well!


Janet and I both have Alla Prima Pochade boxes, but different models.


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Janet made an AWESOME dinner on Friday night!



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Janet's dog, Bo:



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Janet has an AMAZING studio, it's the entire top floor of her house, and her house is very large!
It's one of the best studio spaces I have ever seen, and it even has a most excellent soaking tub!


We had such a good time, and it was so good to see her and talk wacky art talk.
She says I need to come back and I definitely will!

Sunday, May 10, 2026

Mothers Day & Raphael

I have basically written Mother's Day off.
The most I can hope for is a Happy Mothers Day text from Daya, which happened, and that's it.

So, it's just a day.

I have been meaning to go see the Raphael show at the Met.
We have spoken about it in egg tempera class, at least the people who went already talked about it.
I have been needing to 1) find a day to do it and 2) brace myself for the inevitable crowd, which I haven't been in the mood for.

Karen went and said it was too big.
Janette went and really liked it, said the drawings were excellent.

I agree with both of them.
The exhibit was "padded" with a lot of Raphael-contemporary or influences.
I get it, but it was still too big.

The drawings were lovely though, that was true- and some of the paintings.

I didn't photograph the whole show- not even close, but here are pics of things I liked.