The Amazing Sludge Streak

Today I was keyholder in charge of the Sunday morning opening shift.

I got to the boathouse around 8:45am.

Normally, people start arriving by 9:30 for a 10am opening.

9:30 rolled around and I was still all alone... which was fine by me.

Everyone was probably wrecked from the historic Knicks win last night.

People showed up to kayak and I told all of them to come back at 11.

A delayed opening doesn't stress me out, not one bit.

I felt so chill and mellow and peaceful.

When I am keyholder in charge of a shift, I want good vibes.

People started showing up around 9:30 but we didn't open until 10:45.

It was a good shift.

Low tide can be pretty gross, and for a little while we had the most incredible 9and disgusting) sludge streak.

Of course I had to take pictures... and send to Bitz to let her know The Blob's cousin showed up today and says hi.

I feel like the sludge layers can be artistic, maybe one day if conditions are right I can paint the sludge.

That would be a fun painting.

Painting Again!

I haven't painted for almost a month!

Whoa!

It's a combination of things.

Life, other plans, the boathouse, and simply not being able to line up the energy mentally.

So this morning I was feeling very direction-less, wondering where I should go and when and all those things.

Then I looked at my email and Francis sent a note about his painting class today up by The Cloisters.

He's a watercolor guy and the class is full (I don't want to take a class) but it's also open to the public and stop by if you want and everyone can paint together!

This was perfect for so many reasons... I get to see Francis, give him the Train Air Painting from last year, I have a painting location, and the time was late afternoon/early evening so I didn't have to rush even a little bit!

Francis said he almost didn't send the email... we were both glad he did!

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I'm rusty.

I'm definitely rusty.

This painting was primarily about the foreground vs the atmospheric perspective background.

In that sense, this is a successful painting.

And the other things about it that I would tweak, I really don't care since I did accomplish my main goal.

Also, it's an hour and a half painting, with many interruptions, and I think it's fine for that timeframe.

8x10 oil

Tick or Treat...?

I'm camping next weekend and I can't hammock so I'm bringing my tent.

Which needs to be tick-proofed.

Along with my clothing.

I am paranoid about ticks.

The boathouse is the perfect place to spray poison around.

I got there around 2pm, it was 91 degrees out, and no one was there!

Perfect!

So I put orange cones out, weighed down my tent, and sprayed everything.

The tick stuff says let dry for 2 hours but I didn't think it would take that long, and it didn't. 

I texted Aimee that it was a perfect day to tick treat...... which is close to but VERY different from trick-or-treating....

The forecasted t-storms moved to later, and people showed up and we went on the water.

I also went for a nice swim with my orange disco.

Friends:

The sky got dramatic...

Here is Judy being enlightening.

Stolen Sweet Rolls & Zombie Factor One

The other day I texted Carey to see how she is doing.

Aww she's stressed, AND someone stole her sweet roll!! (probably the dog)

(This is a Skyrim reference...that actually happened!)

No one needs their sweet roll stolen on top of everything else!

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Last night I was on the hotline.

Someone left...........

SWEET ROLLS!

You cannot make this stuff up.

I sent a pic to Carey.

Last night's shift was such a great shift... it was a little slow, probably because of the Knicks game- which wasn't going well until they recovered and won and everyone went nuts.

I was on shift with people who are just really smart and fun.

One of my favorite things about this volunteer work is the other volunteers.

And I brought my kayak book and learned:

I love this book.

The Blob & NINE People!

This morning I arrived to the morning shift at the boathouse it was chaos!

Yesterday (I wasn't there) there was a sewage back-up from the restaurant, and everything was outside the boathouse drying off and getting cleaned.

Also the new dock tent didn't last very long...

I had a good laugh at this:

HAHAHAHAHA!

Also here is one picture from yesterday- there is a video which will have to go in the end-of-year video.... there was a blob that was bubbling up from the floor drain!

This is just one of the affected drains......

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The water was so choppy today- we had a strong current plus a lot of wind.

It required having 2 people on patrol.

I had to tow NINE people!!

NINE!

That's a personal record for me... they were all short tows, not across the embayment, because I was positioned near the dock. I had to rescue people who were going under the pier, and help people get out into the embayment and back in again.

All those laps sure are paying off, and it was a good workout!

I was happy about it because I ate too much cheese yesterday.

2 Cats & 2 Malibus

I am feeling better after the shock.

It took about 4 days of intense feelings.

I thought I would get good and mad for longer, thought the whole thing would take longer, but then, suddenly, Weds morning I was ok and I stayed ok.

I think it didn't go on longer because 1) it doesn't affect my daily life and 2) I just allowed the process to happen. I gave it the space it needed, and I'm glad to be feeling better.

I told a few friends what happened. Their support, checking in, and follow-up was heartwarming.

Really. So I'm sure that helped too. That's good friendship. They really cared, in a thoughtful and ongoing way. I deeply appreciate it.

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It's Friday--- I have all the Fridays off from Memorial Day to Labor Day!

Sharon asked me to stop in and feed her cats, so I did that before heading to the boathouse.

Nala is getting....... CHONKY!

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I went to the boathouse.

We bought some new boats- Malibus, 9ft and 11.5 ft.

We use the Drifters for the public program, but they aren't made anymore.

Not made as in the molds no longer exist.

So, while our fleet is doing ok, there is talk about finding replacements.

That's why we have the Malibus.

They're.... pretty.

That's something, I suppose.

This the 9ft.

It is pretty and adorable...... and that's all.

I took it for a test paddle.

Bitz accurately described this boat as a dreidel--- it will literally spin you around.

It's easy to turn it back, but it does not track AT ALL in our embayment.

Despite being an ocean kayak, this is a TERRIBLE boat for any kind of moving water!

The current will absolutely have its way with you!

You must have good technique and core strength to steer it.

I have those things, and I know the general public doesn't.

So, in the context of what it is intended for, this boat would be an actual nightmare.

Also I don't like the seat.

The 11.5' malibu was slightly better but not much, and the seat was still crappy.

These boats would be ok for a lake, or still water that's not as rough as our embayment can be.

After ditching the Malibus, I needed a proper paddle so I took my orange Disco, Jean-Luc (we are still having an affair), out for a while.  I love the Disco!

While I was at the boathouse, Aimee asked if I want to meet at the Mexican place a few bocks away for dinner. Yes! But I couldn't get there as fast as she could- I had three boats to bring up and wash, and I also went for a swim so had to shower!

She said no rush at all, she had a table, drink, and a book.

When I arrived, I needed to know what book.

It's this one:

At the end of this month, Aimee, Kedrin and I are taking a whitewater kayaking class in PA.

So we are trying to learn about it in advance, it is very different from the kayaking we do.

I ordered the book- which is a super fun graphic novel-style book all about whitewater kayaking.

It will arrive on Sunday.

I'll definitely take it to the hotline to read between calls.

Also, dinner was lovely.

Good food, good company, and honestly it was just nice to be out.

Everyone was in a good mood because the Knicks game was playing.

Shock

Today is June 1.

I have a hope for this month, 2 trips planned, and all Fridays off until Labor Day.

May exited with a deep shock, I will not write specifics here except to say on Friday night I got news that was so deeply shocking I felt like I got hit by a truck. Literally. 

I found out something about someone I know that....... I can't reconcile it, and it's bad.

There has only been one other time in my life that I was in a similar state of shock.

I'm not going through it alone though.

It is a very complex multi-layered situation, made worse by who this person is.

Support is available, and I was reached out to.  I was going to wait to come out of shock to see if I needed to talk, but support came sooner and it helped, but this will be a process.

It's the kind of thing that forever changes the people it impacts.

I was completely out of commission Friday night, all day Saturday, and yesterday as well.

The hotline moved my shift from last night to the early morning shift.

I did the shift and I'm glad I did- otherwise a new volunteer would have been alone, and she needed support.  They moved me so she wouldn't be alone and I'm glad I was there.

Also, the early morning shift was chill and quiet, more than the evening shift would be, and I needed that.

There is something about the hotline space that is very stabilizing and comforting.

What I learned doesn't change my daily life.

It does change others' daily lives around me.

I'm on the periphery and the impact was intense........

I can't believe how much it HURTS.

As of this morning the pain I felt for the last 2 days seems to be on pause, but I might just be exhausted.

My system might just be taking a break.  We'll see.

This is a thing that needs time.

I Remain Bewildered.

Back in March I had such a strong impulse to run the Chase Corporate Challenge.

No idea why I would want to do that.

Well, it was tonight.

The 2 friends I was supposed to run with didn't show up.

I am NOT a runner.

I can walk indefinitely, I can kayak for hours, I can do a very respectable weighted jump rope workout, I can swim fast laps for a long time, but I am NOT a runner!

I walked half and ran half, time was 43:58 for 3.5 miles.

And I made sure to finish at a full run.

It hurt my left knee.

Our shirts were the most plain low-effort boring shirts there!

So, honestly I have no idea what that was all about, it was very weird.

Usually when I get an impulse like that it makes sense but this one doesn't.

I'm glad I did it, it's definitely checking off "do something new", but I'm baffled at the initial strong impulse.

WHY?

An Important 180 Perspective Shift

I have to write about a hotline thing because something happened that is personally important to me and how it unfolded was so interesting. 

I was on the hotline last night and I had a call that was hands-down the most severe panic attack I have ever had to deal with. It was a very serious call in all respects, I can't write specifics except to say that 1) it was a very serious call and 2) the caller couldn't breathe enough to speak because of the panic attack.

After unsuccessfully trying to get them to speak I did a quick breathing exercise that got them to the point of getting just enough oxygen so they could begin to speak- and after that, they recovered nicely.  

We talked and the call completely de-escalated in 14 minutes, and- again, it was very serious.

Then I was told we're not allowed to do any breathing exercises.

Wait-- what??

I actually did not know that- even after over 2 1/2 years doing this.

FWIW this situation is an outlier, and I don't think- to my knowledge- I have ever done breathing exercises with anyone before. 

Or if I have, it was a long time ago and I don't remember- the point is this is rare.

And it made zero sense to me.

None.

Because what I did with the caller was extremely effective and was exactly what they needed to get just enough oxygen in their system, and it took maybe 40 seconds. Breathing is the most basic essential thing, especially in a panic attack.

So this gave me an inner conflict, because I had such a strong knowing that I did the right thing for the caller in this particular instance, and then I'm told it's not allowed.

Today I texted the director of crisis management to ask for clarity and his perspective, and can we chat for 5 mins? It was really bothering me.

He said the same stuff I heard last night about it not being in the training, not part of the protocol, we aren't supposed to do it, but even he said he would talk to J, who is the boss of the organization- for even more additional clarity. How can we just let someone keep gasping for air when a fast and simple breathing exercise would fix it? I couldn't get past it. 

In general, I completely understand the policy, I just didn't understand it in the context of this specific rare situation call. And I was locked in my mindset.

He said this does come up from time to time with volunteers- and yet, he took me seriously enough to escalate it even further! That was awesome!

So he called me back and passed on some info.

Yes it's true we should never do breathing exercises.

Why not?

He talked about not problem-solving, not in the training and all that, but what completely shifted my perspective is this:

A breathing exercise is considered "prescriptive".

And we are not mental health professionals.

If it doesn't work to calm someone's anxiety, it could make it worse and there is a possibility of hyperventilation which then is a medical emergency that we would have caused.

And from what I heard, I think that might have happened once, probably a long time ago.

That's what completely shifted my head about it.

Possible medical emergency.

I never even considered the possibility it might not work, because breathing is so basic.

That's what you do for a panic attack.

Total 180 shift for me.

Wow.

This is the thing about the hotline- well, my experience with it anyhow- there is a lot of "wait- WHAT??" and in the context of the hotline, what seems to make no sense actually makes all the sense in the world.

This was a valuable learning experience on many levels.

I can even take it further into the CPR certification at the boathouse.

We occasionally get panicky people there too.

If I am ever in a situation anywhere where someone is having a panic attack so severe they can't breathe, and I can't get them talking, I will never do a breathing exercise with them, I'll just call 911.

If I'm not allowed to do something on the suicide hotline, I'm not doing it anywhere, ever!

This whole experience just goes to show that a little bit of additional knowledge completely changes what we might think is right. It was interesting to observe my own perspective completely shift.

I appreciate all the people who were part of this learning experience.

Opening Weekend

I have been at the boathouse on... Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday.

The weather was terrible- until Monday afternoon.

This is Blue.

Blue is very friendly and wears a muzzle because she eats garbage... once she ate the end of a discarded joint and got high...so she wears a muzzle...

Other assorted pics, I didn't take a lot this year... I'm glad the season is officially open.

A Near Miss

Today I went to the office, and now that also means a strong possibility of paddling laps afterwards.

There were forecasted t-storms, but not until later, like 9pm, so I got on the water.

Well, as I was on lap 7, I noticed the embayment had it's own rather large, rather dark cloud hanging overhead.

It didn't look good.

I stopped and looked at the weather.

T-storms heading in earlier, after 7pm now.

It was about 6:45.

I thought, "I should get off the water, NOW."

So I got off the water, cleaned the boat, closed the house, and went home.

When I got home, I saw that I just missed all the trains flooding and shutting down by about 20 minutes!
And it just got worse from there! We had a lot of flooding!

Phew!

Mandatory Paddling & DTBH Art Exhibit

Yesterday Bitz and I decided that since the weather tonight was forecasted to be SO GOOD, paddling was Mandatory.

Hence, Mandatory Paddling.

There are buoys that got fresh paint...they are hanging to dry.

It looks like an exhibit at The Whitney or something, and everyone agrees we should charge admission

I knocked out 12 laps in my Disco!

That's about 9 miles-ish.

Also, I have been a bit obsessed with making fresh pasta in my new KitchenAid, so I made a nice batch of it and we had a nice dinner after paddling.

I'm so glad I can still do my 12 lap workout- wasn't even sore or tired after.

I'm especially glad since I somehow- very suddenly- lost complete motivation a couple months (!!!) ago to do my Crossrope workouts. 

I don't know what's up with me and that, because I do love it.

All my motivation just completely vaporized.

It's my off-season workout.....

Well, now it's time to be on the water.

Thank goodness!

Very soon it will be time to resume my sunrise paddling as well, I'm definitely looking forward to that!

Dropping Buoys

There is still so much work to do before opening... so today was a work day at the boathouse.

We dropped buoys, and finally it was my first time on the water- though I wasn't out too long.

I'll be back out for real tomorrow- will see if I can still knock out my 12 lap workout.

We numbered all the Drifters this year, what a great idea that was!

While I am eager to get back in my Disco, the Drifters are definitely better for carrying buoys- the weights on the bottom are heavy! Drifters are what we use for the public program and they are basically floating bricks.

Painting Janet's Yard

I haven't seen my friend Janet for a couple of years... how has it been that long?

Back in March (I think) we picked a day in May and said "We're painting!"

And we did.

I went to NJ on Friday night so we would have an easier, early morning to paint.

This is my first painting from Saturday morning, 9x12 oil:

And the second painting, which was VERY rushed and also on a timer so I could be on time for the bus back to NYC. My timer went off and I decided to take the next bus and finish... still very rushed!

If I feel rushed for time, it stresses me out and I get a little sloppy with the painting.

But it's also a very good exercise in efficiency....

I don't know, I felt stressed but still had fun.

8x10 oil

Janet is so much fun and so wacky- and she's an amazing artist as well!

Janet and I both have Alla Prima Pochade boxes, but different models.

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Janet made an AWESOME dinner on Friday night!

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Janet's dog, Bo:

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Janet has an AMAZING studio, it's the entire top floor of her house, and her house is very large!

It's one of the best studio spaces I have ever seen, and it even has a most excellent soaking tub!

We had such a good time, and it was so good to see her and talk wacky art talk.
She says I need to come back and I definitely will!