snailchicken

Dru gave me a wonderful New Years pet- one of the best ones ever- a medieval snailchicken!

This pet is from a book of hours, Bruges ca. 1500 (Baltimore, Walters Art Museum, Ms. W.427, fol. 56v)

I love medieval manuscript pets.

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Last night Daya and I went out for a little while on a rare outing.

She wanted to do some shopping for a stuffed animal to take to school, new Doc Maartens, and oyster happy hour.

It was part of my Christmas present to her.

I also got a new pair of Docs... I wore them all through the 90s and for several years after.

And since I have been wanting a new pair for literally about 4 years now... I did it.

I forgot to take pictures of the happy hour oysters but they were wonderful.

I love oysters, especially when they are happy hour priced!

In December (and last night) I have spent a lot of money (for me, at least) and I think that's ok sometimes when a person is in good balance, which I am. I live pretty simply.

I have spent more money than I really ever do on myself, but it's ok.

Since I work from home most of the time, and until very recently I have had other financial commitments that have just been higher priority, some things have been a little neglected, like my wardrobe.

Pretty much all of my work attire is pre-covid.

A lot of it was several years old even then.

And even my daily wear was just- old, worn, and I started having a bad feeling in my head that I feel a bit worn and am not looking good. Which actually was true.

So I got a few new work things, replenished my non-work clothes, got new shoes..... and having some new things actually feels really good.  I also cleaned out my closets and have discarded a massive amount of clothing that is very old and I know I will never wear again.

So it's money well-spent and needed.

In general my self-care is good but has not been when it comes to clothing.

This is part of the working from home issues that can happen.

Our annual sales conference is next week, it's a big deal, and I have to be on-site. 

It's good that I will look maintained and professional.

Christmas

This Christmas, although quiet, was actually one pf the nicest holidays I have had for a long time.

I baked some cookies at home, and got a couple of presents for Daya.  Isis helped her open them.

Then we went to Sharon's for Jewish Christmas and baked even more cookies.

I FORGOT my cat cookie cutters because they were hidden in the dishwasher so they would be all clean to take to Sharon's..... so we did Paris-theme cookies instead.

And the day was just good company, good conversation, Chinese food, and a nice calm time. 

And I think that's a pretty fine holiday.

Daya even joined and did some work stuff on her ipad, which was fine.  It was nice just having here there.

I like baking cookies, more than I like eating them actually.

These cat cookies are gifts- some for Dru and Branwen, some for Janae.

Pictured below are sugarbread cats. They are hand-painted.

I also made a bunch of gingerbread cats, which I will also give out.

Solstice & Week, Backwards

Today is the Winter Solstice, and also my last day of work for the year.
Since I'm working from home, going to St PAtricks to light candles is just not happening.

That's ok.

I went for a good walk to the church in the neighborhood to light candles.

This church doesn't use actual fire candles which is definitely not as good, but it gets the job done.

I lit three candles: one for me, one for Daya, and one for my cats. (for them to be healthy)

The church was really empty which was nice.

I may go there to paint at some point.

After I lit candles I went over to Trader Joes for a few things.

On the way there, I almost texted my friend Sharon to see if she was also going to Trader Joes (she goes there all the time too). But I didn't.

On my way out, I ran into her.

So I went back in and we had a fun time chatting.

Not only should I have texter her about trader Joes, I should have also texted her asking if she wanted to decorate cat cookies again this year, but she brought it up first.

I'm going over to her place on Christmas day to decorate cookies and do Jewish Christmas.

If you are not from NYC you may not know what that is-- I'm not sure if it is a thing outside of NYC.

Basically, on Christmas if you're Jewish, you order in Chinese.

I'm totally down for Jewish Christmas.

Daya is also invited and I told her about it (she knows my friend and the family for many years) but she's such a bummer she might not go, which makes me pretty sad. 

Daya did get promoted at work though! I'm really proud of her and she's been working long hours.

*******

Today, Furball snuggled with Pebbles for a change.

*********

Yesterday was my last day in the office for the year.

It was empty!

Weirdly, work has been very busy this week, in contrast to the empty office.

Views are still good.

I left around 3pm.

There is a nice tree in front of the NYSE.

*********

On Tuesday evening I met up with Kedrin, Bitz, and Janae for Ethiopian food.

The restaurant is at 10th ave and 46th st. Best train is the  A/C/E to 50th street or 42nd st.

I got on the E and was feeling very self-satisfied for having plenty of time to arrive a little early.

Except suddenly I was at 42nd/Bryant Park (6th ave).......oh no!!

I looked at the time.

5:28.

I had exactly 32 minutes to get over to 10th ave.

So I thought, "It;s fine, it doesn't take a half hour to get to 10th ave from 6th ave."

What I didn't factor in was the wall-to-wall holiday crowds, which are TERRIBLE in midtown.

I realized this when I got out of the train.

Walking over in that crowd wasn't going to happen.

The bus?

I went to 5th ave to check out the M42.

Next bus was 16 minutes away, plus with all the traffic.....

I'd never make it.

More quick thinking on the Dreaded Route........

The only possible way was to get back in the train, do the walk/run in the rat maze of tunnels and get over to 8th ave that way.

I HATE that walk and will even exit the train on the street and re-enter to avoid it.

That's what I did.

It was terrible.

The city is packed full of tourists who do not know how to take the train or walk.

I ran the long rat maze.

It involves paying the fare again, stairs, ramps, winding turns, and a very long slippery corridor.

I also got on the uptown E since it was right there, thinking the crowds at 50th might be less than at 42nd st, since the walk distance is the same from both stations.

I made it over at exactly 6:02.

Phew!

Ethiopian food is wonderful.

We had a lovely evening.

There was a Questional Ketchup Bottle in the bathroom.

We determined it had some kind of cleaning (???) liquid in it, not ketchup.

Still, this is a puzzling thing to see in the bathroom.

18 Part 2

Tonight we went out for birthday dinner.  It's an all you can eat in 2 hours sushi place a few neighborhoods over and it was really great. It was a nice time; we talked and walked home.  I really love when we have these nice conversations.  It doesn't happen a lot.

Daya ate an astounding amount of food- I don't know how she can physically do it. It's truly baffling.
She dances it all off but a person still needs physical space in their body..... it's a mystery.

18

Today Daya is 18.

Today I lay down the massive burden of not knowing what would happen to my child should I die.

Yes I have a will but the people named in it have long-since disappeared and there is no contact.  I have no one else to substitute for that, so I have not been able to update it. Now I can.

She can legally receive funds in place should I die now, and she also has succession rights on the lease on this apartment according to rent stabilization laws. She will have a place to live and the means to pay for it, should this happen.

The eventual hopeful plan is to purchase my own place, which she will inherit. I'm nowhere close to that but it's my goal. I need to control my housing expenses... right now it is uncontained with the rent increases. It's scary. In the meantime, should something happen to me, she'll be ok even if she's not ready yet to move out on her own.

This has been an immensely difficult journey and there are things I am now glad to lay down and no longer deal with.  It's time for Daya to officially launch into adulthood. And I do expect and require her to launch into being a stable and functional adult.

I do think I have done a good job in the ways that matter.

My child:

*can make and stick to a household budget- especially in the last few years I have been very open with her about actual finance numbers. She has a realistic insight into expenses vs income.

*knows what is in a household budget

*can do math (I absolutely cannot take credit for this one)

*can grocery shop and price compare- she cares more about that than I do sometimes....

*has a job

*has a wonderful work ethic

*is an amazing artist

*is doing well in college

*can do her own laundry (I taught J to do laundry in college)

*understands the risks of credit card interest

*can self-rescue if she falls out of a kayak (important life skill)

*can bike all around NYC

*can cook

Oh she can do so much more that I am probably forgetting......

She's a wonderful capable person and I truly am confident she will do well as an adult.  

I think she's had enough exposure to not be completely shocked by the reality of it as so many are.

*******

For her 18th birthday I am giving her a funded Roth IRA.

Yeah, that's so boring-adult... Daya is a difficult person to find gifts for, and this is an important birthday, it needs something lasting and meaningful. Daya will probably really appreciate the IRA, it's kind of right up her alley. And I am happy to start her adult life with the gift of starting compound interest and growth.  She has already shown wonderful financial responsibility; this is a good gift for her. 50 years from now my hope is she'll look at this account and think about how she still has $x her mom gave her when she turned 18.

Yeah, it's a bunch of boring adult stuff.

But once you handle the boring adult stuff you may have the freedom to live the life you want... I want her to have a good functional foundation.

Here is Daya right after she was born at 1:02pm......

And exactly 18 years later she is in class at Juilliard.

**********

Tonight after school she is going out with friends, and I have mandatory suicide hotline training.

She has an early morning tomorrow.

So later tonight we will have cake and presents... I had one made for her, strawberry shortcake, I hope she likes it.

Time Travel with Spoon Angel

The college friend I just reunited with gave me Spoon Angel in 1995 as a Christmas gift.

I have kept Spoon Angel over the years- or at least thought I did... I went looking for it last night and it wasn't where I thought it should be...

I DID find some other stuff......

Check this out, my Pratt bill from Freshman Fall Semester... it's fun to find this as my daughter is starting her Freshman Fall semester.

Times sure have changed though.....

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I also found these relics...

That 44mb Syquest drive I believe cost about $45, or thereabouts.

Adjusted for inflation today, is about $87.

For 44mb storage.

I still have the card from my 19th birthday.

**********

I found some pics of me and Scott from our Santa Fe trip, I think I was 19 at the time, I think it was Spring Break of my Sophomore year.

FUN FACT: I brought that tumbleweed home and kept it for years- all through the rest of Pratt and in my first apartment.

I finally tossed it when I moved.

******************

I still couldn't find Spoon Angel, which made me think maybe I didn't have it anymore, maybe it made me sad and I discarded it.... but I checked one more last box in the bottom of my closet and there it was!!!

6x8 oil, abut 3 hours

***************

This was a morning painting, then I went to the boathouse.  While I was getting ready to leave, Daya texted me...... for reals I thought she was texting me by mistake.

..............!!!!!!!!!!!! wow, this makes me so happy!!!!

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I was on safety patrol again today, I took Bitz's dog out for a little while.

__PRESENT

From the Flipside

Today was..... extremely busy.

Daya needed to go to Costco.

Honestly, we were down to a bunch of empty space in the pantry, fridge, and BOTH freezers so it had to happen. We got there early, did all the things, and came home.

Then I went to the boathouse.

Daya volunteered for Move NYC, they had 2 shows today and I went to the second one at 5pm.

It's very close to the boathouse, so I did my volunteering and headed over.

Last year was hard because it was a bunch of "lasts" and was sad in that growing-up kind of way.

I think I have gotten over that!!!

Being at the Move show--- which was awesome, it always is---- was SO RELAXING!!

Like I could enjoy it differently being on the other side of senior year and college and not-knowing-what-comes-next.

All that uncertainty and things to do ahead of me--- GONE.

***********

Apparently Daya is going to Coney Island for a Juilliard outing tomorrow.

I got home a few hours before she did, and I crashed around 10:30.

While I was in bed just falling asleep my phone started buzzing.... it was Daya.

Wanting beach sheets/blankets for tomorrow.

I do not want her going thru the linen closet because she'll take the wrong things, won't put everything back properly, and I also don't remember what I have.  (Last Spring I did a big cleanout and donated my junky linens to the Ardith Mae goat babies.)

Does this extreme last-minute request/preparation stuff ever end with kids?

**********
Oh, also, the cute corn snake was picked up yesterday by someone from the NYC parents list-serve.  He's going to a rescue guy who does a bunch of educational programs etc.  It worked out well.

__PRESENT

Juilliard Orientation

Welp, we are oriented.  

Well, I am at least, as much as Juilliard thinks I need to be, and I agree with them.

Daya has a whole upcoming week of stuff.

This is where my job as a parent is to back off.

Even though she is living at home, I'm basically going to act like she isn't, as if she was away.

We'll see each other when we see each other.

I'm not waiting up for her at night.

I'm not going to ask her how her day was anymore.

She can come to me if she needs to talk.

Its hard.

We have had inseparable intertwined lives for her whole life, especially since it has always been just the two of us.
And it's hard because Juilliard is just so incredible and exciting!

My parental intuition- even though I wish it was otherwise- is telling me to really back off and act like she isn't even here.  So I'm trusting that.

Her world is not my world, and that's ok.

**********

I have asked her to give me a courtesy text to let me know if she's staying out overnight, and if she comes home and the top lock is locked, she has to lock up completely for the night.

We will have to coordinate on shopping needs, because after this week- Juilliard is feeding all the Freshman all meals all week- I expect I'll be doing pretty much all of the food shopping.

She won't have time.

It's ok.

We already have shared shopping lists.

**********

I am extremely excited for Daya, for the world she is entering even more fully, for the education she will get, for the amazing and rare Juilliard experience she will have.

There are 20 Freshman dancers, 10 are boys.

There are 85 dancers total in the whole school.

It is the exact right place for her and I know she will thrive.

**********

Check out this AMAZING broke-college-kid-price for......... 2 boiled eggs.

I cannot even.

This should be illegal.

(also they are small eggs because large eggs are 80 calories.)

(I am currently paying around 20 cents an egg at costco, AND I boil them for free!)

LaGuardia right at the end of the block!

..... i cannot believe we are already out of LaG!

Pigeon contemplating The Juilliard School

It all feels so surreal.