Current Change

I have been caught in a limbo state, an internal slack current, definitely unwillingly.

It ends today.

The current changes today.

Thank goodness.

Whatever direction it goes is fine.

I'm just glad it's finally changing.

I couldn't do it on my own.

It was a time thing.

Sometimes things just have to run their own course in their own time, and it doesn't really matter what you try and do about it. And that sucks. It can't be forced. You just have to endure. 

There have been many things in my life which have required an external circumstance change- outside my control- in order for me to feel better, to change, to move internally either away or towards something better. 

I don't like this because I feel I should always have internal control instead of responding to circumstance. And I always do try and move things internally and sometimes I just can't because of those external factors I can't control that do affect me. 

And it has been astounding to me that once those external circumstances change, I move back into good balance. And it's also frustrating, like I should be able to make that shift on my own regardless.  

Perhaps that's an unrealistic expectation.

I want to be able to do this on my own regardless of circumstance, but I guess if we are caught in a strong current, we just have to go with it until it changes and do the best we can.

Try to stay healthy, try not to drown.

It is a valuable thing to know who and how you are independent of other peoples' dysfunction or crappy circumstance. This is something to hold on to.

Sometimes it is very difficult to know when to let go, move on, or when to stay and just wait.

My own answer to this is to always look at present circumstance, stay in the present.

That is where reality is, and the present moment is where our power is.

Looking at it honestly might hurt but at least it's true, especially when I have no knowledge of whatever else is happening to influence things.

Being on the water this season, especially those peaceful early mornings, has had a much-needed counterbalancing effect to everything that has been happening all at once in too many areas of life. 

I am very grateful for it.

Wildflowers in Brooklyn

The weather today was so perfect, and I needed to paint so I went over to Brooklyn Botanic.

No thunderstorms to crash my painting today!

I didn't have anything specific in mind today, so i wandered around the garden to find what i could find.

As it turned out, the wildflowers on the terrace by the rose garden and cherry esplanade wanted to be painted!

This was interesting because the view was different than what I usually do. 

It's not traditional landscape.

The colors though--- the garden is so colorful right now!

So, I decided to do something different and challenge myself today.

There are a few tweaky things I wish I had noticed but they are minor and overall I am very happy with this painting.

Also it was really fun to paint! A perfect use for my Vasaris!

8x10 oil

Here are some assorted pictures from the garden.

BBG is a very special place for me.

I have been going there for over 30 years..... wow!

Just like the river, I never get tired of it.

Dance + Dance

Daya is very interested in a company called Ballet BC.

Despite the name, they are not a ballet company.

They are Canadian.

She got to take company class with them over the summer.

They performed in the Fall for Dance festival we have every year.

Daya asked me to go with her.

So, last night we had a nice dinner and then saw a lovely dance performance at City Center.

It's a gorgeous building.

Amazing Islamic design!!

Three companies were on stage- Ballet BC (I liked their piece the best), classical ballet from The Netherlands who did the pas de deux from Romeo and Juliet.

The third dance was a whole production...movie screens, singer,, musicians... it was about tango.

Neither Daya nor I cared for it, and for the same reasons.

It wasn't so much as showcasing dance as it was about a bunch of different elements telling a wider story.

I know nothing about dance and Daya knows everything about dance, so it was very validating we had the same perspective.

*********

Tonight, Daya performed with the workshop dances at Juilliard.

Basically, workshop is side-project dances that people do either solo or in groups.

They also work with a choreographer.

Daya danced to the theme from The Long Dark, which is SO COOL since that's pretty much my favorite game since early 2015, and I raised Daya on it.

I raised my kid playing The Long Dark and the theme ended up danced on stage (well, informal theater floor) at Juilliard.

I'm going to take a moment to congratulate myself on good parenting.

Daya was such an incredible presence performing, as she always is.

She was glowing and looked happy and she let me take her picture.

Happy New Year

My amazing friend Sharon invited me for dinner today, for Rosh Hashanah.

It wasn't seder, just a nice dinner. She isn't religious.

I DEFINITELY need a new year.

I'll join anyone's new year, as long as it is a new year.

So, today I am honorary Jewish and am celebrating the new year.

It was a wonderful, lovely time with good company.

Sunrise Peace

This morning I was on the water again early, before the public program.

You never know what you'll get with the river.

Sometimes it is liquid glass, sometimes it's choppy, sometimes it's basically a landfill.

With big floating dead fish.

This morning it was smooth liquid glass and felt more like a lake than the river.

There isn't much time left to enjoy these mornings.

I will miss it.

Being out this early on the water is a particular kind of deep peace.

Hiking..... without paint

Yeah it was weird to go hiking without paint.

I wanted to bring paint, but my friend (who also paints) said it isn't a painting day.

Even I realize (grudgingly) that we have to make non-painting room for friends.

Yes it felt weird and yes I could absolutely have gotten a painting done in the 45 minutes we spent sitting around mid-trail but sometimes you just have to do the right thing, even when it means "don't paint".

We were up in Rockland County.

It was a nice day.

Good river views.

*********

The group photo......

Daya is cat sitting and sent me this picture while we were on our way home.....

Looking at these 2 pictures, it occurs to me there's some phrase about apples not falling far from trees..... or something.