Returning to Actually Paint This Time

A couple of weeks ago I went to the park but didn't paint.

But I did find a tree that i really like and I have been wanting to go back and.... actually paint it.

So today I did that.

I'm really happy with this painting.

It took just under 2 hours.... maybe I'm getting faster?? I don't mean to do that....

I was surprised by that when I finished and looked at the time.

Anyhow the tree talked to me a lot and I learned some new painting things from it.

Its always fun when that happens.

8x10 oil

When I got to my planned painting spot, there was a bike standing alone.

Weird.

I walked around to find my exact standing spot and 2 people were sort of hiding in the brushes.

Weird.

I think it was a husband and wife, or maybe a dad and son.

I couldn't tell.

Although annoying, I decided to set up anyhow, because I wanted to stick to my plan and also I knew I'd be there a lot longer than them anyhow.

I was right.

They stayed doing whatever they were doing for several minutes, then they left.

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My new boots are great AND I had a very unexpected issue on the walk over to the park...... my boots got too warm and it was actually painful to walk!!

I put on full winter gear because the temp said 33 degrees/feels like 27.

So I added the sole warmers and toe warmers inside my boots.

The toe warmers were actually too hot and I had to stop and remove them!

Otherwise I was fine, and I did not even need gloves.

I guess the weather got a bit warmer.  When I was done temp said 41, which isn't very cold.

This has been a weird non-Winter and maybe it will get cold enough that I'll be able to test my full boot-heating system again.

I have done it several times in the old boots and never had an issue being too hot!

__PRESENT

Adventures in Egg Tempera

Today I mixed up a very fresh egg yolk with a little vinegar and water.

And then i got out a particularly soft brand of pastel and my adorable Derwent grater.

I made some lovely dust and added the egg and...

It was weird!

It kinda beaded up and i think it isn't supposed to do that.

I'm not worried that it is from the pastel, it's just dry pigment with a small amount of binder.
And I have a jar of straight up Titanium White pigment and it acted the same way.

So maybe I need to add more water to my mix.

Anyhow it was a strange experiment and I need to work with it a little more.

I loved being able to use my adorable Derwent grater though!

The Last Move|NYC Show

Tonight Move|NYC performed two shows, after the 4 day winter intensive.

Daya performed her senior solo in both shows.

She is breathtaking.

The whole show was amazing.

I am so sad it is over, well this phase at least.

Here is  Daya's senior solo, from the second show:

Choreography by Norbert de la Cruz III

I am a painter not a dancer, and it is true that I do not view this in the same way that a dancer would.

The same way a dancer would not see things in a masterful painting that I might see.

But all the arts share a common core, and while the outward expression is different the core is the same and they all parallel.

However, I DO know it is breathtaking, and you have to be a complete idiot to not see the sheer talent and ability.

I am so obnoxiously proud of my child.

Yes I know how fortunate I am to have a kid like this.

Daya's head has always been bigger than mine, even when she was a baby.

I guess that's why I had a c section...........................

I Am So Slow and Repurposing Pastels

This Winter has been the lamest excuse for a Winter we have had for a long time.
No snow and it has been eerily warm.

This is a real bummer for those of us who like to go paint in the snow.

Last year my gear held up really well, and it is always an evolving thing.

This year..... well, I really need new boots.

My Big Plan was to get a new pair on the next painting sale, whenever that happens.

But my boots are shot and it's beyond the repairs I have already done with duct tape.

They are literally coming apart and are definitely no longer waterproof.

I got them in September 2019, which I only remember because Daya had just started at LaGuardia and we were talking about it at the shoe store.

I think the reason my boots only lasted 5 winters is because I did not realize I should go up a size to account for layering, and let me tell you when I have sock layers on they are VERY DIFFICULT to get on. (And off.)

Also, they zip up the side and the laces are mostly just decoration.

This is fine if you don't need to seriously layer your feet.

Anyhow I decided not to wait for whenever a painting sells, because my boots are really dead.

This is something I am willing to spend some money on because I need good quality and something that will last. And... they were on sale and I ended up paying only $83!! Less than I expected!! They are less than a pair of pointe shoes!!

These are Columbias, subzero, waterproof, they weigh a lot less than my old boots (that is very important and the #1 reason I never, ever wear my old Sorels), I got them in a size 7 (the old ones are a 6), and they are lace-up so can better adjust for layering.

The other thing I got....... I will never, ever know what the hell took me so long, I am so, so slow it is embarrassing is this:

A BALACLAVA! What took me so long?  Isn't it wonderful? It is very comfy too.

Ski equipment is a winter painter's best resource!

Now I just need a real winter to go with my new gear.

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Last night there was an opening for a student show at the Art Students League.

My friend Janette has 3 paintings in the show, and she invited me.

I invited Georgina and Kedrin.

There was cheese and wine and it was a good evening.

My friend's three paintings:

My friend is taking an egg tempera class and............... oh man now I want to try tempera too.

Kevin Wueste says it's like wearing a hairshirt LOL....

But I actually think I have everything I need except for properly primed panels laying around my studio.... including a perfectly-sized glass jar I just moved to my drawing table last week because it was kitchen clutter. (this is for the egg yolk)

Natural Pigments has a pigment powder set, so does Kremer.... but I'm going to skip that and use pastel dust.

We all know I have an absolutely stupid amount of pastels, and I see no reason why I can't use powdered pastel dust to make tempera.

I need to run to Blick anyhow to get a couple plein air paint refills, so I'll pick up some Claybord, which is a good surface for tempera.

How Life Changes

Daya has been accepted into the Pacific-Northwest Ballet summer intensive.

It is a 5 week program in Seattle.

It's a competitive program and I'm proud of her.

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However-- and I told her this several months ago-- summer intensives are not a priority any longer.

From my perspective, they are no longer a "dance need", they are a want.

It has no impact on college prep.

And I'm not paying for it.

Every summer since she was 12, I pay about $3,000 for her summer training.

It's time to lay that burden down.

Well, it's just going to transition to another form because you know, college.

It's time for Daya to get a job. Or two.

Start earning and saving money for college this summer.

Get into the real world a bit.

Experience life and people outside the Magic Dance Bubble.

This is what happens when you grow up.

***************

Daya also applied for the SAB summer program, which no one gets into.

It was also the first summer program she ever auditioned for when she was 12.

I think we both wanted to see if she could get in, especially after LaG and MYB training, so I said ok to the audition and I paid the $40.

Along with that came the caveat that it doesn't mean I'm paying for it if she gets in.

She said ok. She didn't get in so no worries there.

Then one of her teachers at LaG said she should audition for ABT and if she got in they might be able to pull strings for a scholarship. 

Once again I said I'm not paying for it, and also you have to pay the $40 for the audition this time.

Daya got mad and asked why I wouldn't pay for ABT since I paid for SAB.

I said "Consider it a gift."

She didn't like that answer but she went ahead and paid the $40 herself.

She got into a different ABT program than the one she wanted, so that's a no.

Fine by me.

***************

Daya could not audition for PNB in-person on the audition tour because we were in LA that weekend.  

I didn't even know she submitted a video until after it was done.

One of her MYB teachers helped her.

PNB states clearly on their website they do NOT offer financial aid to video submissions.

Her teacher said he has family there that has housed dancers before.

Despite the fact that no one discussed this with me, and my afore-mentioned requirement that Daya gets a job(s) this summer, I acknowledged that she was looking for a way to make it happen that was not through me. 

And that's a good thing. It's a mature approach.

Tuition plus room and board is $6,770.

Plus airfare.

And at least 3-4 pairs of pointe shoes ($3-400).

But let's face it, no one gives free room and board for 5 weeks, even if she stays with a local family.

I wouldn't do it, nor would I expect anyone else to do it.

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The reality is even if by some bizarre miracle she gets what I am estimating is likely to run upwards $7,600, THIS IS NOT THE PRIORITY and she needs to GET A JOB.

Developmentally, she needs to start working. 

A first job is a major part of growing up.

You cannot get a summer job if you're gone for 5 weeks.

I would never pay this much, ever, for a dance intensive.

The only reason she got to go to Chicago last summer was 2 scholarships.

And I still didn't really get a break, because she had other dance expenses, like her solo choreographer.  She needed clothing and new shoes. And dance stuff. There were a lot of incidentals, and this stuff adds up fast.

I was very glad to be able to provide that support, and also get her some things she really had been needing but didn't want to ask for.

********

But this summer, we are transitioning.

This is such a weird year in so many ways.

Recurring

It is Tuesday morning.

I woke up at 7 but I don't have to log into work until 8, and even then probably no one is going to care.

Today Daya starts the Winter Move NYC Intensive which runs through Saturday. 

This is her last Move intensive.

I managed to make my tea before she took over the kitchen.

As I write this post she's in there now.

*********

Yesterday was a total bust, in a VERY annoying way.

It was Presidents day, so I had the day off.

Daya went to Brooklyn on Sunday and slept over so she was gone.

And the weather was gorgeous, perfect for painting.

I was going to go somewhere new, either to Greenwood Cemetery or up to Cold Spring on Metro-North for a change of scenery.

Except.

On Sunday morning something was in my right eye and it was irritating.

I spent the whole day trying to get whatever-it-was out and I think I did but I really irritated my eye.

On Monday I woke up hoping it would be better but I was still sore and completely swollen.

Shit.

I couldn't put my contact lens in and I couldn't go out like that either so I was stuck at home.

Yes I could have painted at home and I thought about it a lot but I just didn't and my left eye wasn't up for it solo.....

What a stupid annoying waste of a day.

This morning I'm not 100% but I'm also not swollen and I can wear my contact lens again.

********

And last night I had my recurring dream again.

I have 2 recurring dreams, one about my ex (it's a nightmare actually, and it is very infrequent) and the other about my apartment.

I have my recurring apartment dream a lot.

The details of the dream vary but it's always the same plotline:

I move out (for various reasons) and then deeply regret it and try to get my apartment back and I can't, and I end up in a worse situation.

Even in my dream last night I said "This is my recurring dream, how can I be so dumb?" and I ended up stuck in a tiny falling-apart studio apartment.

And by tiny I mean TINY and by falling-apart I mean the ceiling was coming off.

And I was stuck there due to finances AND it ended up being even more expensive than my old apartment!

I have had variants of this same dream countless times over many years.

They are always very real and it is always a relief to wake up.

The Juilliard Callback

What a day.

I'm exhausted and glad it's over.

Daya and Amanda went to the callback together.

I am friends with Amanda's mom.

We have been praying all week and trying not to freak out, especially after the cuts last weekend.

On Friday I started a candle.

*******

Dyaa and I left together and parted ways on the way over.  She went to Juilliard and I went to St Patrick's to light candles for her and Amanda.

My plan was to paint, so I walked all the way West from St Pat's over to the park.

I went through Lincoln Center....

Over to Juilliard.....

Past LaGuardia......

And right over to the river.

I looked for a spot....

Almost painted here but didn't because i was such a ball of nerves and couldn't do something too complex.....

I ended up here:

Oh, also, it was pretty cold.

Low 30s, just above freezing.

I was a nervous wreck and it shows in the painting.

Weirdly this only took an hour... and I also got really cold.

8x10 oil

*********

Amanda's mom was waiting at Juilliard so I went over there to wait and be scared.

The student lounge wall is cool.

*****************

Daya had to be at Juilliard at 9:30 and it started at I think 10am.

Because Juilliard pre-screens and you have to be invited to the in-person audition, the day is different than it used to be and there are fewer cuts.

But there are cuts.

So Josie and I were waiting VERY anxiously and having no idea what was going on.

Just after 1pm we heard the first part was over and the audition panel was in deliberations... meaning the first cuts.

Then the girls finally texted us........

PHEW!

More waiting......

Josie and I both left for a little while to run some separate errands.

Getting out of there and walking around helped a lot.

This Juilliard audition was a truly terrifying experience.

We returned to await more news...............

And............

SHE MADE IT!!!!

THEY ***BOTH*** MADE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Does this mean they are accepted?

No.

It means they are on the final list for serious consideration and have not been eliminated.

The day started with 28 people and 12 made it to interviews, so similar to last week.

Juilliard does three days of callbacks in NYC and one day in San Francisco.

They will be done next weekend.

What Daya has done-- getting to this point--- is nothing short of extraordinary.

It is truly extraordinary and I don't know any other words for it.

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How The Audition Works

The Juilliard callback audition consists of three sections.

First- ballet, modern (they did Limon), repertory (to see how they pick up choreography) and improv.

That lasted from 10am-1pm.

Then they did cuts.

Next was solos.

Then another round of cuts.

Lastly they did interviews.

Daya was interviewed by Risa Steinberg who is apparently a legend in the dance world.

Questions she was asked:

Why Juilliard, interests outside of dance, a challenge she had to overcome.

They were all done right around 4.

Now we will wait on an admission decision, we will hear sometime by or before April 1.

*****
When it was all over we went out for celebratory sushi.

__PRESENT