Important Lessons From Terrible People

I apologized to Daya for my inappropriate comment yesterday.

It's true I should never have said it.

When someone is mean to Daya I get a little crazy.

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When I was writing yesterday's post an event that happened during my high school years came to mind. Because some people really are just downright mean and arrogant.

It's a story that I have told before, and I was so sure it was here on this blog somewhere, but astoundingly I cannot find it. I can't believe I never wrote about it here.

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Once upon a time when I was 16 years old, during the summer following my junior year in high school, I was accepted into a program called Governor's Honors (GHP). It was a 6 week long, completely free summer program for so-called gifted high school students in all areas of study.

I was accepted for visual arts.

It was very competitive- and only 40 people from the entire state of Georgia (I went to high school in GA) were accepted for visual arts. So it was a big deal that I got in. 40 people from the entire state.

We had a major (what we got in for) and a minor.  I minored in voice.

The program took place at Valdosta State University down at the bottom of Georgia.

We lived in the dorms.

As part of the program, several guest artists came to work with us.

One of them-- I wish to this day I could remember her name because she was amazing.

I think??? her first name was Helen but I could be wrong. (I asked Scott and not only was he thinking about her this past week too (!!!) but he also can't recall... he thinks maybe Susan but isn't sure.)  I have tried google searches but I'm just not sure. It's been a while. She was an installation artist.

She was just an amazing human being who knew how to bridge gaps with people, to find out how we are the same. I think she truly enjoyed working with us. I wish I remembered her name, because she is worth remembering.

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There was another guest artist whose name I will NEVER forget.

But I probably shouldn't say her name.

If you are really dying to know, you can contact me privately and I'll tell you.

She's still around and working.

She's a horrible person but I learned something very important from her, even though it took me a very long time to get there. And I don't think being a horrible person was necessary for the lesson.

The guest artists had a show in the gallery in the art building.

I fell in love with her work.

Like, madly in love.

She gave a presentation on her work.

She's a brilliant artist, truly.

You can't deny it.  She's just amazing.

So I was this dumb 16 year old kid, totally dazzled by her work.

I saw her standing and talking with a group of adults.

It took me a few minutes to get the nerve to go up to her, introduce myself and tell her how much I absolutely loved her work.

I also asked how much she sells paintings for.

Her response, complete with a scoff- this I will never forget- 

"More than you'll ever be able to afford."

And she laughed at me as I walked away and so did all the other adults.

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To this day I don't think I have ever been as humiliated as I was from that encounter.

I wanted to die, I was so humiliated.  Reeling humiliation.

I felt it was the most wrong and offensive thing to have ever asked her that question- which today, I know is not true.

And I couldn't look at her work ever again without feeling physically nauseated.

I lost all the love I had for her beautiful art.

It became ugly to me.

It affected me so strongly that in the early days of the internet, while I was at Pratt, I looked her up to find anything I could find.

And apparently she was teaching and her students said the same thing- she was a really incredible artist but an absolutely devastatingly mean person.

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The kind of person I admire is someone who is a master at their craft- and along with that mastery comes a certain humility and kindness to others.

I am fortunate to have met some people like this as well, thankfully.

Daya has several teachers I place in this category, just amazing humans.

And it took me years to realize I should never have been treated like that, and it was more of a reflection on her than me. Because I really thought I had done something offensively wrong. 

And to be summed up and categorized like that...

And what a thing to say to a kid, anywhere- but especially in that particular environment.