Wednesday

I cannot freaking wait for school to start because I want to be back on a normal routine.
Yesterday was nice at work and the focus group was really a nice time as well, but as soon as I came home (late, screwey trains) it was like a whole cluster of crap was just waiting for me and it would. not. stop.

Run-on rant:

11pm I came home tired- exhausted actually, to find Daya had not showered after her earlier bike ride so that needed to happen, she was very stinky, which was annoying because I wanted to clean up and settle in for the evening, she had been home all day, and she had to go first because I REALLY needed to get her in bed. She did her laundry the other day and I needed a clean bath towel because she used mine on the cat (don't even ask) so I went in her laundry to get one and it was STILL WET idk how or why she took stuff out of the dryer still damp but she did and let it sit in the laundry bag we have gone thru this before it is not the first time so I had a wet bath towel, had to hang everything from her laundry because it was smelling musty and probably all has to be washed again, (which she actually expects me to do) then went into the kitchen to find something for dinner and there on the counter was one of my favorite bowls I have had for 20 years sitting on the counter in three pieces... asked Daya what happened she said she put it on the counter and the cat knocked it off, wtf was the damn cat doing on the counter, she doesn't know, my monthly arrived while Daya was supposed to be showering but was in the bathroom with the door closed not showering, and ENOUGH IS ENOUGH... FINALLY got her to bed and tried to settle in and the internet was out, then finally that came on again after resetting everything, I had just started to relax and clean up my blog post from thursday with some relaxing tea when I heard Daya out of bed and in the kitchen....... idk what happened but she was drinking milk, said her throat was sore and felt closed up and she couldn't breathe, I said when did that start she said when she went to bed.  She's not sick or having an allergic reaction so my best guess is anxiety/panic attack which fits all the symptoms which she flatly denied.... she wanted a base thinking it was acid reflux... went down entire list of today-eaten food/drink, nothing weird or new, I still think it is anxiety and the internet even said so but she would not hear it, she asked me to make something to help her since we don't have antacid tablets (never need them)... so I looked something up online and made her a baking soda concoction which she took forever to drink dramatically in the bathroom, then spent 15 minutes throwing it up, then she said she felt a little better, I guess some of the baking soda got to her throat and helped, who knows, she went to bed, I went to bed, and she woke up in a bad mood this morning. If you are a parent maybe you have experienced being utterly exhausted and still having to deal with someone else who requires you to figure out their problem and solve it while they fight you every step of the way and then get mad at you.  One of the absolute suckiest things about parenting is when you have to deal with your kid having- whatever they are having- insert anything dramatic here- and you are just in no shape to deal with it but you still have to. I'm not unsympathetic I just abhor the accompanying drama.

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I am skipping yoga AGAIN tonight (have not been since July) because I need to prep Daya for school tomorrow and also prep myself for the Garin Baker workshop. (I will probably die from the workshop but it will be fun.) I was home last last night, tomorrow will be late, and Friday I have to go to a party that is basically overnight in Brooklyn.  So I need tonight at home.

***
The start of school this year brings me a huge jump in freedom that I have not had since the day Daya was born.  She only has to take 4 classes a month at the studio, and it is whatever classes she wants.  So I'll still have to pick her up later at night sometimes but not nearly as often.

I'm clearing out my schedule.  There are things that I don't feel are necessary anymore and I want my freedom back.  I don't want to be tied down to anything unnecessary.  I want to go to figure drawing after work, I want to go painting, I want to be involved with Laguardia, I want to do.... whatever.  or nothing.  My choice.

Yoga on Wednesdays I will keep.
And that's the only recurring-set-thing I want to keep.