Deep Overwhelm

This past October I had my IUD switched out for the same thing, except not expired.

The IUD has an additional protective factor of a sonogram on the annual visit.

If you don't have problems it's not standard.

My friend just had to have major surgery due to issues that were not known until they got too big and caused problems. Things grow silently and undetected, until it's an issue. 

I also found out some stuff from IUD sonograms but I'm ok, no treatment is needed--- but we know about them and that's important. I would never have known otherwise.

So, it's protective in that way.

The way my gyn does insertions is different than my first one- they don't do a sonogram at the time of placement. (In 2014 that happened; they checked immediately.)

I did speak to them about why they don't. They said it's not necessary.

Instead they have you back in 6 weeks to make sure it hasn't moved, which can happen.

So they do check, they just check later.

Mine moved down, it's no longer considered effective.

My first one never moved... not til they pulled it out 11 years later.

So, I know my body can handle it.

I went back for removal/reinsertion on Weds only to be told that because of factors (which I won't get into here) they have to do it as a surgical procedure that requires sedation. 

And they can do it THIS MONDAY.

Ok, that's fine, I can do that.

But that means a pre-op.

I've had those before; they were never a big deal.

So today I went for my pre-op to a doctor the gyn got me scheduled for who would do a last-minute pre-op. He is also a cardiologist.

My blood pressure was high.

Too high.

It was perfectly normal on Wednesday!

But it's always high at the doctor because I am scared of doctors and medical stuff in general, except the eye doctor. I do worry about my bp, I monitor it at home and it can be normal or slightly elevated but not anything serious. But it spikes at the doctor.

I do have a family history of hypertension, I vaguely recall decades ago being told about it.

But the people in my family who have it also had horrible habits, and my lifestyle is exactly what a person should be doing to not have this issue.  And not just recently, for YEARS. DECADES.

There are no lifestyle changes I can make that I know of.  I'm already living them all.

So if something's going on, it has to be genetic.  Fuck genetics!

It can also be the CPTSD- trauma is known to cause hypertension and other physical problems.

And my CPTSD is definitely in high gear right now.  (I'm managing it as best as I can.)

Anyhow because my bp was very high, and the dr is a cardiologist, I got an echocardiogram and have been sent home with a heart monitor (!!!) that I have to wear for a week.

IUD Complication Results in Heart Monitor
What the fuck ever!

And I get to spend Saturday, tomorrow, getting a stress test.

Basically, he's doing a full heart checkup.

In all honesty it's probably a good idea and maybe I won't stress about my bp so much if I see a cardiologist annually. If he decides my bp needs help... well that's frustrating because it's absolutely definitely NOT lifestyle and that sucks. I don't want to be on medication.

I feel like there is a theme in my life of doing everything as right and responsible as I know how to do and still ending up in a pile of crap.

(Another friend of mine just had a stroke and lost the full left side of his body.  

He's getting function back though. But that's SCARY. I don't want that!)

So maybe I am thinking that the Universe might be looking out for me, because possible hypertension has been a background stressor for me, even though I have no diagnosis of it.

OR... 2025 is still being an asshole.

So because of my IUD, now I have a heart monitor, a full heart checkup, and a cardiologist.

From Weds to Monday I am at the doctor every single day except Sunday, which is Hector's memorial.

It's deeply overwhelming. Too much too fast.

And it's probably bad for my blood pressure.

What the fuck ever 2025!

What a stupid awful horrible year.

I'm ready to be done with it.