Choosing to Be Positive

Today I had my surgical procedure to remove the new-old IUD and put another new one in.

There has been so much leading up to this appointment that I had to do with no notice.

It has been so overwhelming and now it is time for me to de-stress and relax.

In addition to the pre-op and cardiologist on Friday, dr wanted to do a full spectrum of cardiac tests.

Nuclear stress test, imaging, the whole bit. I might still be slightly radioactive... I have had a full complete heart checkup now. For the first time in my life!

And yes I now have a low-dose prescription for blood pressure meds, which I am s l o w l y coming to terms with.

I still resent it. 

And I am DEFINITELY over this stupid heart monitor already!

However I have to admit it's nice to not have to worry about my bp.

I have even been on a really low sodium diet for the last three weeks, which is the only other thing I knew I could do for my bp and it made no difference. None.

Because my issue is not lifestyle, it's the effects of trauma on the body.

I have been researching this and it's well-known and documented.

My cardiologist knows about it too, when I mentioned it briefly on Saturday.

We'll talk more about it on my follow up.

Yes I am holding an intense amount of real trauma in my body and despite my wonderful self-care and heart-healthy lifestyle for DECADES, it is what it is. And I do feel it. So I need to come to acceptance that my system needs a little chemical help.  My bp isn't even that high, except at dr offices but it is fluctuating.

So anyhow I didn't have to worry about it today and that honestly was nice.

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I did all the things I was supposed to do and I went to the surgical suite.

They put me completely under, and it took 15 minutes.

And I asked if they could check the placement by sonogram right then and there.

They did 

AND IT WAS STILL NOT PLACED 

HIGH ENOUGH AND WAS 

ALREADY MOVING DOWN!!! 

After all that and it still wasn't right.

I'm SO glad I had them verify the placement!!

Oh my God!!

So what happened next was they removed the new-new Paragard right in the ultrasound room and put a new-new-new one in again with the ultrasound.  

And it is now placed correctly, they saw the difference.

Multiple people verified it.

Here's the thing about it: it took 5 minutes and even with no pain meds I barely felt anything.  

Seriously. Barely any pain. It was nothing. I definitely didn't need to be asleep.

In all honesty I don't know why they didn't just do this to begin with; it was so easy.

If they had just done this to begin with, using the ultrasound, I wouldn't have had to go through all this crazy medical stuff at all.

I have a follow-up in 6 weeks just to make sure everything is still ok.

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There are 2 ways of looking at this: negative and positive.

Be angry, frustrated and annoyed, or realize maybe the universe is trying to tell me something and is helping me in a way that might seem annoying and unhelpful on the surface.

I'm going with the latter.

Maybe it was all about going to the cardiologist, which I never would have done.

I do still think it is maybe better to check an IUD placement by sonogram at the time of insertion, especially if there are some irregular "factors" like I have. But I'm going to be positive about the whole thing, and I am SO relieved it's done and over.  This is the last IUD I will ever need. 

And it did work out. I need my girl-vault locked, no hormones, it's very psychological for me. 

So I hope in 6 weeks all is still well (it should be) and that will be the end of this ordeal.

Also, still, fuck you 2025!

Fuck C-PTSD too!