One of the things I find most difficult about parenting is the loss of control over personal finances.
I mean, I get into a swamp of resentment over it and I know that's not healthy or good.
This is where I have probably turned into my own father.
It's very difficult to know where to strike the balance in some circumstances- and others are no-brainer yes or no.
Daya has been having bad back pain. She has been going to the chiropractor twice a week for just over a month. They do physical therapy, spine adjustment, electro stimulus, and an infrared pain treatment as well. The office is great and so is the care she is getting.
She also got a nerve test, x-rays, and an mri.
The diagnosis?
All normal, it's muscle pain.
So on one hand I'm super glad because- even though she has pain- there's nothing actually wrong with her.
On the other hand, I'm already $560 in for copays and still have to pay for the mri and more dr visits.
Dr is saying let's try 10 more visits and that's $400.
So I really want it to stop.
I need it to stop.
I have mentioned to Daya that this needs an end date, and of course she got very upset, saying she needs this, her dancing depends on it..... but what I am not really able to get is a concrete answer of how much it is helping. Even the dr said he expected more improvement especially for someone her age.
Daya clings to problems- if they aren't 100% gone she doesn't want to admit they are improving.
I know she has pain. I don't want her to be in pain. But what can she do at home? How can I start minimizing the financial impact?
It sucks that everything comes down to money but it really does.
This is where I need another adult to help with decisions!! Or advice or something.
I CANNOT CATCH MY FINANCIAL BREATH EVER.
It's always something, it always falls on me. All of it.
I'm feeling crushed under the weight of it all.
I'm always being pulled at and tugged at to give this, provide that and it seems to be to my own detriment. I work and it's just all gone. On a personal level I have a very low quality of life in an physical sense and there just has to be more than this, or a better way. Or something just has to give.
And Daya's not very nice to me, so that makes me resent it all even more.
She also thinks she gets to make the decisions.
Daya likes to loudly proclaim that she's having such a difficult time with me- but I'm also having a very difficult time with her!
I need a break from everything.
If you don't have the money to pay. Don't do it. If it affects her dance don't do it. AND don't feel guilty. There is just so much money, time etc. A difficult lesson but one that sometimes has to be made.
ReplyDeleteTeenagers...Do what YOU think best. Don't feel guilty about it. If she has fits let her go at it. Lessons of life are not easy. She will grow up and see what you meant.
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