Putting Brakes on Teenagers

I was at school until almost 8:30pm for PA meetings.

The dance department has a skeleton very like my skeleton-friend in figure drawing!

So we talked about summer intensives.
I got a Very Large List of programs in and around NYC.
Two of the programs are automatically open to AND ARE FREE for Laguardia students.

I want Daya to go to one of them, it is a week in August.

Ms Mathesius had some great info about intensives, scholarships, thank you etiquette, and something else I was extremely happy to hear: limit the kids to three dance classes a day. (And they get 2 at school, totaling three hours. And Wednesdays another hour in pointe.)  She also said that, oddly, the Freshman academic load is the hardest.

Daya and I spoke many times last year and over the summer and more this year about dance outside of school.  The plan was if she went anywhere other than Laguardia, I would put her in Ailey's year round program. If she went to Laguardia I would not support her in attending ANY full year-round program.  The studio had a very good setup for her but....................

Last week Daya brought up wanting to go to Ailey's year round program next year.  I said NO.
It's too much.  She has asked several times to go to the year round program at Steps.  I said NO.
When registering for the ABT summer audition she asked if she could check the box to be considered for their year-round program.  I said NO.

She got really mad in the way teenage girls do.

It is true that a few of the kids at Laguardia go to year-round programs after school but especially for Freshman it is not recommended or endorsed by the dance department.  Ms. Mathesius said after three classes there are diminishing returns.  It isn't the more you do the better you get- it's too hard on their bodies, they are exhausted and more prone to injury. (I said those things too but Daya won't hear it from me because I'm not a dancer and therefore know nothing.)

She said if your child is fighting you on this (mine does and several people in the room laughed in that knowing way) send Ms Mathesius an email and she will set the child straight.  I will totally do this next time it comes up.  Ms. Mathesius is a force of nature; a person would have to be very brave or very stupid to pick a fight with her.

I had a whole talk about this with Daya a few times, I told her someone has to put her brakes on and I'll do it when she can't do it for herself.  She was in agreement.  Now she is not, all based on the argument that other kids are doing it.  She thinks more is better.  It is not after a certain point.

Yeah, guess what they are exhausted, falling asleep in class..... her perception of reality is different from actual reality.  She would dance herself into the ground if I didn't step in to set limits.