Updates on the 10th!

Whoa we're in January double-digits already!

That was slow and fast at the same time......

Days have been normal days, just work and friends and working out and being peaceful.

Uneventful.

So... having passed thru the New Years Portal out of 2025 into 2026- I am feeling so much better.

Refreshed. Hopeful. Positive.

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While I do have an almost instinctual strong urge to reach out to Daya- I'm leaving her alone.

She has left her location sharing on, so I did make sure she got back to NYC safely, which happened on Thursday. She can move back into the dorms tomorrow. Because I know where she is, and that she's safe, I'm not worried about her. Thank goodness for location sharing, and I hope she keeps it on.

Normally I don't look at where she is, I don't generally feel the need or desire to do that, but I did want to make sure she got back to the USA safely.

I did tell her she needed to find another place to stay in these few nights before she can go back to the dorm.

And she found a place and it's costing her money I know she doesn't have but that's not really my problem. And soon she'll realize that Juilliard bill is not paid.....

While I wish things were different- I very much want a good connection with her- she's not in a place right now where that's possible. For whatever her reasons, she needs to walk her path and do what she needs to do. I'm not going to push against it and I'm leaving the hurt of that note in 2025.

If she needs to make her life harder than it needs to be (in my perspective), that's her freedom and her choice. If this is just an experience she needs, ok. She's been desperate to get out on her own since she was 11 or 12 anyhow, so let her. She is free to do what she wants.

The other part of it is- and I have been saying this for a while- and it really hit home in Aug 2024 when she went to the dorms- I do much better mental health-wise when she's not staying here.  Daya is a very negative person and I have trouble being around negativity and I really have trouble with that kind of energy in my home.

I am extremely protective of my home environment.  When it's just me, it's very peaceful here.

Friends who visit comment about it.  I have a good-energy home environment, which I require for my own peace. Daya does disrupt that with her energy.

If she hadn't gone no-contact, of course this home would be open to her and it would be fine.

In fact I would prefer for her to have the option to be here if she needed to be, because she's my child... and I want to help her-- but I do have the relief of peace in my environment.  It was tough for so many years, a decade actually, and I need my peace. 

I need to separate from her negativity.

So, I'm feeling better and not looking back on 2025... it's time to look ahead with positive energy and positive expectations.

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The annual boathouse party is tonight!

It will be so good to see everyone.

I did get pulled into the End of Year Video Team, which was fun.

We had a nice working dinner on Wednesday, which was a good time.

It is good and important to be out and see friends. 

Last night I saw the finished video, and it was such a nice reminder of all the fun and good times ahead of me this year.

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I have my cardiologist follow-up at the end of the month, and in the meantime I have to keep a blood pressure log.

I'm not on any medication, my system is completely clear of everything (except caffeine), and my readings have been normal! Perhaps feeling better has helped with that?

I do not want to go on medication and as of right now I see no reason why it would be indicated.

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So, we'll see about everything. No point in worrying.

I do believe in having a positive mindset and having positive expectations.

Sometimes I need to go through the difficult feelings, and sometimes it can take a while- but I generally bounce back eventually.

I'm taking life one day at a time and prioritizing feeling good.