LaG Volunteering

There are 2 Chicago shows today and I volunteered to help with concessions during both shows.
I did this for Cinderella too, back in 2019.

Mostly I was prepared to watch everything between shows, but others stayed as well so I didn't paint. That's ok.

I enjoy volunteering but at the same time it kind of messes me up mentally, I am noticing.
Through Daya's childhood one of the hardest things has been seeing other families celebrate together.

That's one of the things about raising her that has been so difficult- going through the good moments alone.

Daya is not in the show but seeing everyone come together for their kids, all these families, reminds me of how alone I am and have been, and the complete lack of people (family) in my life. Sometimes it really hits home in a bad way.

Especially with all the therapy stuff going on right now.

(Sometimes the therapist says things that really piss me off, and I think if he was a parent he would definitely approach things differently.  Sometimes I disagree with him.  Other insights he has are quite good and helpful. I guess Daya likes him and she's willing to talk to him so that's good, I'll take all the help I can get even if I don't necessarily agree with it. I just don't like getting hurt, and the sessions do hurt me. They also help, but I'm just so burnt out and tired from all of it. I have had enough. 

Some things he has said to me stick in my head in a bad way and I don't think he should have said it to me in the way he did. (Again, back to the not-a-parent thing.))

I'm so unhappy with how everything is.

This is a dark time, and everything just feels like one pile of shit after another.

But anyhow, I did enjoy the volunteering and it was good to get out.