Dec 31

Sharon invited us over for dinner tonight.

I don't remember the last time I had New Years plans, and I'm glad to go there for dinner.

Today I cleaned..... definitely the bathroom floor in all those awful places I discovered last night, but also the kitchen.

We had a nie time at Sharon's and se and her husband helped with airfare for the LA trip, which I am stuck doing and I feel really resentful about it.

They had a transferrable free companion ticket, so one of us is basically flying for free but still with the airfare and hotel I am already $800 in and that's not including food and transportation to/from the airport.

If it wasn't for my friend helping I would be in over $1k in airfare.

It doesn't help that Daya booked on the wrong weekend and we have had to wait so the fares went up.

I really truly am freaked out about this and 

no one has any respect  or care about my finances.

I'm just expected to suck it up and overextend even though it 's absolutely beyond my means.

I could easily have another $200 to go with this trip, it will depend on how much transportation in LA traffic costs to/from USC.

I am going to try and get Move NYC to help with this, but I have to pay everything up front and until I have a check in my hands, no reimbursement is guaranteed.

Plus Daya is a total jerk to me all the time and that doesn't help.

I'm having very bad anxiety about this and I feel raked over the coals and basically screwed.

I really, really resent it.
I wish I felt differently but this is a college application and absolutely nothing about it is equitable.

I DO think it should be a much fairer process to apply.

Dance is a rich people's world.

I'm overextended with it but I have done enough to get Daya in the door and keep her there.

However it harms my finances.

What happened to the days of if you can't afford something don't do it?

Move NYC says don't let money stand in your way, don't let that be the deciding factor.

Well, if they are willing to help pay for it, I'll agree.

******

Dinner at Sharon's was really nice.

Daya and I went home and watched the ball drop.

I wish I wasn't starting the new year feeling so salty