ASL Show

Tonight was the egg tempera class show at the League.
It was a nice time.

Daya came for a few minutes, and so did Grace, Hannah, and Janae.

Me and Doug, who is one of the best teachers and also one of the most amazing humans I have ever known.

Doug said some really nice things to me at the show, which ... coming from someone like him... really mean the world to me.

He says I have a ton of ability and also vision.

He says he can the teach technical stuff but not vision.

That actually is true; I can do that.

I can just pull images into my head out of nowhere, but one also needs the technical ability to do it properly. I do feel I fall a bit short technically, or I look too much at others' technical work and feel lacking.

But it was really good to hear that from Doug as I value his perspective so highly.

He's one of those ultra-evolved humans and I feel so fortunate to have his influence in my life.

Aside from the fact that I do keep up with my art and learning and practice, I feel like it mostly amounts to nothing other than I do it. 

And that is hard. 

I would like it to spread farther than it does, to be out in the world more than it is.  There are a lot of technically proficient painters out there who also have somehow managed to figure out the professional business of it.

My life has just never been set up for that to happen, and I don't have all that behind-the-scenes support that people have. 

I don't have the supportive family that seems to make everything possible for so many others.

I need my full time corporate job. 

There is so much that goes into people who actually make something of themselves other than being good (and sometimes not even that) at something.