St Pat's # 5

Here is today's painting.
I worked on black Mi Tientes today.

Several people came over to chat and asked for cards... I ran out!
I didn't have a card to give the last person who asked..... 2 people asked for info on portrait commissions.

Honestly I was not expecting to give out cards, normally people don't ask at the cathedral. I do always have a couple on me, but maybe now I'll carry more.

And I'm glad my website is all updated.

9x12, 4 hours and 15 mins-ish

The drawing took about an hour, I liked how it turned out.
I was smart- I was getting lost in the different sections at the top and I had the great idea to do the drawing with different colors to keep my place mentally.

(It wasn't actually my idea, I did ask the Universe for assistance....)

******

These cathedral paintings are quite difficult and require a lot of focus.

I'm not where I want to be with them, I see issues and things I don't like, and working on the black paper was REALLY different than lighter paper!!! I had no idea how to handle a few things but I figured it out, at least at a starting point.

I still feel somewhat uncoordinated....what I need to do is keep things the same for a while- paper, and paper color. 
What I do not know is if I like black or dark grey better. 
Artagain or Mi Tientes?
Or if it doesn't matter?

I kind-of made a decision to do 20 of them and then evaluate.  

This is only #5, I don't have enough experience to make decisions.

Morning Meditation

 I got a nice mantra-message in my morning meditation this morning.

"I am open to receiving the miracles of today."

It put me in the mindset that no matter what happens today, it will be for my benefit.

I had an 8am meeting, and about 15 minutes before I had to log in, my internet was not working.
That was frustrating.
My router fell down when I was resetting everything.
Which made me say to myself, 'This is a terrible configuration."

And that made me look at the ridiculous configuration of plugs and wires under my computer, which is terrible and I have been putting up with it.... so I'm making changes there.

*****
When I joined my Reuters art group, I found out our member Sandra is now cancer-free! :)
THAT is a truly wonderful thing!
Sandra said that her cancer taught her how to receive good things.
That is an important lesson, I'm working on it.

*****
On our call I did my homework for the Ken Goshen class.
I completely cheated and shortcutted, which he considers valid.
Instead of doing a drawing, I just transferred it from a (terrible) printout.

Then because I stunk up my place with fixative, I opened my other window and somehow managed to break my curtain tension rod. It no longer...tensions.

It is not really fun to be on a global video call while standing precariously on your window sill fighting with a curtain rod.  I ordered a new one, and am not really sure how this is to my benefit but I'm not too worried about it.

Blog Settings Update Again

So as planned I did turn off the RSS feed to my blog but it broke the email subscriptions!
Which I suppose makes sense. That's what the one test post was about that apparently may have come through a few times.

Anyhow everything is fixed now.
:)

Wednesday with Vermeer

Abigail modeled for us tonight, and she was dressed *exactly* like Vermeer's Girl witha Pearl Earring.

She looked exactly like her too, it was just stunning!

Both drawings are graphite on Artagain.

20 mins

45-ish minutes

A New Class

I follow a locally-based artist named Ken Goshen on Instagram.
He's pretty awesome.

(Look at his bread series!)

Anyhow I saw on Instagram he is offering a 10 week old masters painting class for 10 weeks on Tuesdays.  

Tuesdays are usually blank evenings for me, which I would like to fill.

Also the full 10 week class was... $110!  WOW! That is CHEAP.
Sessions are scheduled for an hour and run for 2 hours.

We are doing a Rubens portrait.

The first class was tonight.

It was really, really good.

Ken is a really engaging and funny teacher.

And he just finished up the class where everyone does the drawing, this is a continuation, so I have some work to do!

Test Post

 Just a test :)

Aphrodite

It's still raining today and I cannot cathedral for two days straight; it really wears me out.
So I went to The Met and painted Aphrodite.

Pastels are fine at The Met, thank goodness. 

This painting took- almost to the minute- exactly three hours.

I really need a lot more practice.

9x12 pastel on Artagain, which I like for on-location pastel work. 

I don't know if I like it more or less than Mi-Tientes, but I do like it.

St Pat's Pipe Organ

We have rain all weekend, so outdoor painting is... out.
I figured I'd tackle the pipe organ at St Pat's.

I was doing well at first, despite having to paint something behind me.

The priest came by to say hello.

I used the correct side of Mi-Tientes.

My view was good.

And then...... an hour into the painting....... 

they turned off the lights on the pipe organ!!

I mean, it was dark!

I could not see anything, all the details in the wood disappeared, the entire value scheme changed, and this painting should have been done on black paper.

It's on a pretty grey paper, but it was too light for a dark scene and I fought against it.

I'm still figuring out my materials, to be honest.

Although this is the smooth side of Mi Tientes, it still has a little texture and I had some trouble handling it, but that could have also been due to needing a darker paper color because the lights went out......

I'm going to try Artagain paper next, which is a very smooth paper- so not really a pastel paper- but I did like working on the not-great smooth Strathmore grey sketch paper.

This is so different from how I work pastels in-studio or plein air, it's sanded paper always...but that's maybe not a good choice for indoor on-location small setup work. It's a lot messier and dustier. 

Maybe I'll still try some Uart Dark.  Or Sennelier.

But I don't know, I kind of like the idea of smooth paper for these.
I don't want a heavy-painted look.

4 1/2 hours, 9x12 pastel on Mi Tientes

The drawing:

2 Quotes of the Day

......because sometimes I really am a snob.

 "If you want your acrylics to look like oil paintings,
  then paint with oil!"

and

"You're not going to get an Old Master effect by
using latex."

-Stefan Baumann

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VErii_j8o5U

How to Prevent Being Stupid

I went to Blick last night because the Derwent Metallic Paint Pans are FINALLY here in the US and are on sale.

I don't need them but I need all the shiny things so....

Well, I also found a pad of Mi Tientes grey-tones.
Which I got because I'm thinking about my cathedral paintings. This is nice paper for those.

But--- the textured side of Mi-Tientes should not even exist, it is so terrible.
Literally everyone hates it.
It is also the "front" of the paper.

And I used it by mistake on my last cathedral painting. Ugh.

BUT I GOT SMART!

I marked every single sheet of Mi Tientes from my old pad and the new pad so I will never again use the horrible textured side by mistake!

I was so smart!

Small mental victories.

We need to celebrate small mental victories.

OMG OMG OMG

 So I heard from the landlord.

And also the girl who runs the office wrote me, she listened to the videos I sent and said "That is crazy."

The landlord spoke with the tenants and they told him they are moving! I guess he didn't know!
WOW THIS IS THE BEST NEWS EVER!!!!!!!!!!! I sure hope it is true!

Ohhhh I have been desperately praying for this for three years................

I might be in for a few noisy weeks. I'll have to deal...it will be much easier to take knowing they will be leaving.

Please send the Best Upstairs Neighbor vibes you can muster, I really, desperately need a break after these past three years which have been enormously stressful and distressing.

I deserve a break, and some peace.

I'm tired of long-hauls.

I deserve a nice home, some peace, and just a break in general.
I deserve to move out of hardship into a better life experience.

St Patrick's #3

Well I guess this might be my thing for a while, until I can find other churches that are open long enough for me to stay for 4 1/2 hours ....
Although I also want to go to Grand Central.

I changed my paper for this one- the other 2, while successful, are on Strathmore grey-toned sketchbook paper. It's really not the best.

So I switched to Mi-Tientes.

And of course I was stupid and used THE WRONG SIDE and fought with it a lot.

Next week I'll try again and make sure to use the smooth side, which is much better.
I may try Artagain paper too.

The colors today were really interesting, the top arches were glowy purple from the lights, with warm space underneath. I almost didn't finish and rushed through the lower left side.

9x12 pastel

Here is the drawing, which took almost 2 hours-- I was slow today.

Scrambled

I'm having trouble with the upstairs neighbors again.
The noise.
I hate noise....but it is more than that, it is the sheer inconsideration.

There has been so much banging around up there, and it has been hard to live with.
They are so loud!
I haven't said anything because what can I really do...what can anyone do....except- I really, really think they are not in compliance anymore with carpeting.

Sharp impacts, things dropping and rolling around, so much furniture scraping and banging...that can't happen on a carpeted surface. Also, they haven't vacuumed for a long time, and they used to, after the landlord told them to carpet a while ago.

So before proceeding with the landlord I asked the super if he has been up there recently- and what is the carpet situation?
He says he thinks they have an area rug, but not covering the rooms. 
They are supposed to have 80% of their floors covered.
He said he would speak to them.

Is that why they BLASTED their awful music again last night? 
I made 2 videos for the landlord and called the police.
Their music is audible outside my front door even over the lobby music downstairs.
And its not nice music, it's loud angry mean music.

And then I had trouble sleeping because I don't deal with conflict well and I feel..... wow, guilty? nervous? wrong? (???)... for calling the police and saying something again. I don't actually know what the emotion is, to be honest.  Like I'm in the wrong for speaking up about a true disturbance. 
I did grow up learning I was supposed to suffer through things rather than speak up, so I guess it's that.

The disturbance is very real, it is ongoing, and I have every right to say something about the music volume and the carpeting, yet I feel so nervous about it. 

It's a young couple up there...they had a baby.... I know music impacts babies, and I wonder if angry blasting music impacts the baby... none of my business of course, but I'm genuinely curious. (Maybe it would cry less? It cries a lot but some babies do so who knows?)

I really, really wish they would move.
And that I get a nice quiet neighbor upstairs.

Honestly, I need a break from crap and I'm so tired of absolutely everything.

Battery Park Plein Air

Today I thought it might be a good idea to change things up a bit and go to battery park.

Here is the Statue of Liberty.

8x10 oil, about 3 1/2 hours painting time

My Seagull Friend

The sky was gorgeous!

The humble start of this painting. :)

Blog Email Subscription Added

Lisa gave me a great idea. (Thanks!)

I have added email subscription.
It's on the right in the sidebar, fairly prominent.

Just enter your email address.
You'll then get an email with a confirmation link, to prove you are not a robot.
The time range for emails is 9am-11am eastern time.
Hopefully it won't go to spam.

I am going to keep this link public but shut off all RSS feeds, so I won't be on Bloglovin of Feedly anymore. But you can still visit and get updates.

I'm pretty sure it's all working properly because my test worked.

The RSS feed will end March 1st.
If you subscribe and it doesn't work, please email me at hildewintera at yahoo dot com.

As always thank you all for your wonderful presence and support!

Tuesday Things

A GOOD THING

My bank called me, someone from the branch, and it took me over a week to return the call.
I'm sure glad I did, wow!
My bank called to tell me I am pre-qualified for an installment loan.

I have been seeing this on my account for a while but ignored it because I don't need a personal loan for anything. The last thing I want is more debt.

But then I saw my FICO score, and it said I could raise it by taking out an installment loan.

And my bank keeps offering me a loan.
SO...... why not? 

I figured I'd go in, borrow a small amount, not spend it, and just pay it off early and push up my credit.

.....

That's not what happened.

As it turns out I took out a MUCH lower-interest loan that was enough to pay off ALL of my high-interest debt plus extra!

So I did it. It was a good offer, a good decision, win-win all around.
I never would have done this if the branch person hadn't called me.

I am really ready to go out of hardcore survival into thrival.
I have never known anything except survival.

While it will take me a while to pay off the new loan, it is a set, fixed path and I feel good about it.

********
LISA where are you? Did you see my blog settings note? I hope you are ok, I also left a note on your blog.

********

CONFESSION TIME

So.......... I'll preface this one by saying I have never had a weight issue in my life.
I have always been small and skinny,  But I have also been off meat since I was 16 which cuts out a whole lot of fast food. And I'm not really a fast food person anyhow.  I also don't drink soda. I prefer salty to sweet, if I have to choose. A large percentage of my diet for many years has naturally been protein and veg.

That being said, I never worried about the relatively small amount of junk in my diet, because you have to live, too.

This is probably the main reason I maintained my pre-pregnancy weight solidly until July 2019.
That was the month I was stuck at home because I couldn't see, because I had to be out of contact lenses for a month before my cataract surgery. And I REALLY could not see.

My June 2019 physical was normal, then I went for my pre-op in July 2019 and I had gained six pounds! In ONE month!!!!!!! I know why too and I'll get to that.......

Covid lockdown has been pretty terrible, and like everyone else in the world I absolutely took refuge in my most-loved but worst-ever foods. But for the most part my weight held steady until.... it didn't. But it didn't get too far.

I absolutely REFUSE to have a weight issue.
It's partly for health but I'd be lying if I didn't say it is also vanity.
I don't need to be unhappy with my body in that way.

So, 5 1/2 weeks ago I cut out ALL sugar (yes even in my tea) and basically all carbs and starches.
I am down 7 pounds.

I do not feel any different being off sugar, and that's probably because I never had a sugar problem to begin with.

This is what did me in, my crack, my ultimate weakness............

OMG.
I freaking LOVE potato chips.
And very specifically, plain ones and preferably Lays.
I do not care at all about flavored potato chips.
And, I discovered, I don't have the same reaction to other brands.

My grocery store was out of Lays recently and I got another brand and...they were passable but not the same, not even good enough to want to buy them again if needed.

It got me thinking.

There must be something in Lays that is addicting, like a chemical addiction- even though the ingredients are simple.

I googled it.
Turns out I'm right, but I couldn't find anything about addicting chemicals in Lays specifically.

It also turns out that potato chips are literally one of the absolute worst foods to eat, they contribute to fast weight gain, and- very specifically- are as addicting as hard drugs!!!!!!

Wow.

Also, I'm not alone.
(According to this article I'm weird! "After years of being addicted, I don't have a single favorite kind of chip. I really don't care too much, as long as I'm able to eat them. But there's one flavor I'd really prefer not to eat: the basic, salted variety. People who buy that stuff are weird.")

There are scientific articles, Reddit threads from people seriously seeking help, news articles, research........ potato chip addiction is a real thing.

I have been on strict food restriction for 5 1/2 weeks, I mostly feel just fine and am dropping my small amount of extra weight.... but even after all these weeks I'm still thinking about potato chips with way too much longing and fondness.

But I absolutely REFUSE to come out of covid lockdown needing to drop potato chip weight, and it does feel better to have the discipline and keep my body in healthy shape.

But oh man, potato chips...!

No Bones

So.

I went to Blick today and got a small drawing board for church painting.

And I figured it would be a good idea to try my new setup at AMNH.

Actually it all worked pretty well except the subject matter.

This bomb is the Titanosaurus and it was NOT fun.  I worked on it for 2 hours and called it quits.

I do NOT enjoy all those bones, it's too tedious and to be honest, a little beyond my knowledge of how to resolve all that complexity in my head.  As it turns out, I CAN resolve complex cathedral architecture- which I did not know until I tried it last week- but all those bones? 

Never, ever again.

Also, my art-brain is a little tired, but even so I would have been fine with less insane subject matter.  I have no idea what I was thinking.

Leprosy & Divorce

I went back to St Patrick's to paint.

I was present for 2 sermons- the English one, where they spoke a lot about leprosy but then- pleasantly surprising, talked about kindness and being kind to others who are different.

The Spanish mass also spoke about leprosy- and divorce, then leprosy, then marriage.  All the married couples stood up and basically renewed their marriage vows.  It was kind of sweet, actually.  

Much nicer than leprosy.

********

This painting also took about 4 hours.
I'm using my Strathmore grey-toned sketchpad, which honestly is not great paper and it isn't even pastel paper. Maybe I'll try Mi Tientes next time, it may be time to upgrade.

9x12 pastel

Balto and Pine Trees

Today I dialed into Leah's beginning drawing class- they were doing pine trees.
I was in Central Park, so I looked for a pine tree or 2 to paint.

The original plan was to go back up to Pinetum but I left late and it's a much longer journey for me to the Upper West Side, and Leah was starting at 12:30.

But...Balto the Sled Dog to the rescue!

The dog is the Balto statue, he has been there since 1925.

8x10 oil

Then Daya needed pointe shoes and another fitting so I met her at Onstage.

Suffolks this time.

Heartwall

This post is just a bit of a Life Update.
I did start a painting tonight but it needs a lot of work before being ready to post.

********
So, I'm a little weird.
If you know me you'd probably agree, but there is a lot of stuff I don't talk about.
Or even blog about, but it's more likely to end up here than in conversation with anyone.

I'm not going into the background of how this evolved, let's just leave it at one thing leads to another, but today was the 4th and last week of energy healing sessions I have had to clear my heartwall.

It is a modality called Emotion Code by Dr. Bradley Nelson.

I never heard of it until very recently, again, one thing leads to another.
And this blog is non-commercial, meaning I have no interest in promoting anyone, not even myself , since I don't promote or tell anyone about this blog.

But this is important to me personally and it was intense.

So, I had my heartwall cleared by a lady named Lee Mudro.
It took 4 1-hour sessions.

******
I have therapied everything. 9 years of therapy.
Therapy is not what I need anymore.
It does nothing. I don't need to talk.
I run out of things to talk about. Quickly.
I'm past the point where individual therapy is useful because I already have clarity.
Therapy gives clarity but it doesn't necessarily clear the energy.

** I would do therapy with Daya in a heartbeat but she won't and it's her choice.

But.

Despite all the therapy there are things that I can't seem to shift.
Major life patterns.
It's an energy thing.

So I had my heartwall cleared and it was intense.

 I didn't know how it really worked until I went through it.
And... although I'm a believer in "alternate" modalities, I myself am always looking for validation to trust it. And it happened twice in very specific ways that Lee could never have known.

And honestly all of it made sense to me, and I agree with everything that came up to be cleared.
Nothing was a surprise. There were a few things that were interesting, but not surprising.

It takes three days for the energy to really clear, so it will all be really gone Sunday afternoon.
But I feel lighter.

I do need more work, I know my body is holding other things that need clearing.
So I will do that.

I need to move from survival to thrival.
That is my new theme.
My whole life I have been just trying to keep my head above water.

I want to shift into something better.

Blog Settings Update

 Although this blog link is publicly accessible, although not available to search engines, I don't ever share the link anymore, not for several years now, and only a few people read it that I am aware of.

But it is out there on Bloglovin and if anywhere else, I'm not aware. I think just Bloglovin.

Sometimes I still get spam comments but not too often.

Anyhow I have been thinking, especially now that Daya is older, to limit access.
My paintings (without commentary) are on Facebook and Instagram, and my website.

But I am still going to blog here as normal.

***********
Daya does know about this blog and has never given me any indication of discomfort.  

The last time she made mention of it was when school started this year and she wanted to see all her first day pictures and was upset that a few weren't on here... I have since added them.

I'm going to give it until March 1, but in the meantime please email me at hildewintera at yahoo dot com if you wish to keep reader access, because I have to add your email to the reader list and send an invitation.

OR- Lisa I think this may only impact you- I might keep the link public but stop the Bloglovin feed.
Last time I did that you said you had trouble accessing.
So you would have to come to the link directly instead of how you usually get here, if it is different.
But email me anyhow.

*******
I'm pretty sure the spam comes from Bloglovin and it's really the only public place that people can find this link. I removed it from all my profiles everywhere a few years ago. 
But it's mostly a privacy thing and I have to consider Daya since she's on here a lot.

I know a couple of you are still (amazingly) coming back here after a whole bunch of years, and I want to say thanks for your presence and support!

St Patrick's Cathedral

It snowed again today.

Today I went back to the cathedral to paint.

I really want to visit some other churches, but a lot of them are still closed.
We have a lot of gorgeous churches here in the city.

This was very difficult, I guess there's something new I need to get more proficient at...

Anyhow it took 4 hours and I was there right until closing.

9x12 pastel in my grey toned sketchbook, Nupastel and Carb Othello pastel pencils.

Topiary Cat Garden

Here is a painting I started in the Reuters Summit Room back in April 2019.... seems like so many years ago.

Since I did not make it out today because I just could not get my proverbial shit together, I joined Leah's beginning drawing class just to have some company and dedicated art time, and I finished this painting.

8x10 oil

Ash Canyon

8x10 oil

Snow

We finally got a nice good snowfall!

I went for a walk in the evening.

I liked the way the red light glowed on the snow.

"Night mode" on my phone looks like daylight!

Gouache and the Cathedral

I met up with my friend Jean from the Reuters art group and we went to St Patricks and did some painting.

The format of my sketchbook is not great for a cathedral, I will have to re-think this a bit.