Being Somewhat Useful in NJ

This morning I left early to go to NJ to see my friend Grace.

She's moving to TX and still has a lot to do around the house, so I went to visit and help out.

I'm sad Grace is leaving but I don't think it'll affect our friendship at all.

She'll be coming back and forth a lot, already has been, so we'll still see each other, and of course we'll still chat.

I got to do touch-up paint on the walls with some extremely old goopy paint, and we went for a walk.

I'm so grateful for my good friendships.

It really does help when my underwater self isn't ok.

After NJ I went down to the boathouse.

Bitz and I ended up doing a 102 class for someone who can't make it on Wednesdays.

Otherwise it was a quiet evening at the boathouse and I left before sunset.

Crap-Free Zone

This morning I am off work, and I'm just floating around not sure what to do with myself.

There is some stuff going on, nothing new (mostly) and I need to be busy and hopefully useful to pass the time.  

I don't know why life seems to like to poke me to get my attention and make things look a certain way only to say nevermind, just kidding!

I don't like it, I'm really sick of it, I don't understand the point of it, and it just seems pointless and cruel. So right now currently, I have yet one more heavy thing to get over that I REALLY didn't need. Literally the last thing I needed.

So yes, I'm upset and sad. Life seems to be a series of things to get over without any benefit. It doesn't matter what I do, or don't do, or anything really, I always seem to come up empty even when a situation really looks like it's going to come through.

So, I'm ok on the surface but my underwater self is not ok.

******************

I got a new boathouse key that works, so I got to the boathouse around 8:30am to go on the water for an early morning paddle.

The oyster people were in our embayment, presumably checking on the oysters.  They were there for a long time, like 4 hours.

The early morning paddle was peaceful.

I'll probably start going on the water before work when I go to the office.

I try to leave my feelings in the river but they still stick to me.

It's nice to be out alone.

I stayed on the water for about an hour, then decided it was time to power wash the dock, which was absolutely covered in massive amounts of goose shit.

There is a sign that restrooms are at Pier 25, but these geese are not good listeners.

And there are so many of them!

It's so gross.

The goose-repellent flags definitely do not work.

The public program was supposed to start at 1, so I had some time.

Look how gross this is.

We can't have the public on the dock in this condition!

The whole dock loading area was like this, all the way down.

Getting the power washer on the dock and working properly is quite a mission.

You have to run a few extension cords from the boathouse, but that's the easy part.

The hard part is hooking up the water... and I had never figured this out alone before.

I kind of knew how to do it...

Basically you have to hook up the water and hose switches properly in three places and hope for the best.

It took a while and much switching of valves happened, but I did finally get it working!

Next time I have to do this it'll go a lot faster, and I am very proud of myself for getting it to work.

Really, it is a very convoluted process!

One of the water hookups that requires a special pipe adapter!

Crap-free zone, for a few hours at least......

I am very proud of this nice clean dock.

After I cleaned the dock, it was about noon.

I went back on the water with a sandwich and a tow rope.

I tied my kayak to a buoy and went for a swim.

Then people started showing up and it was time for me to get off the water and leave the boathouse for the day.

I will probably be power washing the dock a lot this season.

Stupid geese.

Attempted Beautification

Today is Fathers Day which is sitting heavy with me this year.

All the stuff with my mother is dredging up a lot of old feelings, all with family and loss etc.

It is overcast and spitting rain outside but I need to keep busy, so down to the boathouse I went to stay all day.

It was cold and although the public program stayed open, it was slow.

I didn't do much with that though, because today my work was inside the boathouse.

I put a second coat of paint on the shower floor (Bitz did the first coat):

And then it was time to do the bathroom, which has been disgusting for a long time.

Today was exactly the kind of day to do the boathouse bathroom floor.

I washed and sanitized it and wouldn't let anyone in:

I had to get between the toilet and the wall twice- once to tape and once to paint.

I'll have to do it again for the second coat next week....

Definitely a small person has to do it, it's a tight space.

Also, several of the men at the boathouse have horrible bathroom etiquette... seriously, it's bad and gross.

I don't know how men reach adulthood without basic bathroom manners...... it's just so gross.

The first coat.... so much better!!

It was, of course, raining when I left to go home.

The Rain Will Never Stop

Rain all day.

ALL DAY.

I need to move to a different planet or something, this is just dreadful.

The only thing getting me out today is the hotline.... which actually is a good thing.

Oh my god all this rain......

I can't.

Weird things at the Guggenheim

Today I took off work and met Janae to walk through the Guggenheim, have lunch in Central Park, then go on the water after.

There is a lot of crap at the Guggenheim but also some cool things here and there. 

I did like all the hanging plants.

Oh, and since I was packed for going on the water, including a full change of clothes just in case, security wanted to know all about my backpack.

Not my dry bag though, weirdly...

There is a back pouch in my backpack.

The security guard said he wanted to look in there.

I said "My bra is in there..."

He said "I have to check..."

So I had to show my bra to get into the Guggenheim.

Stalking Janae.......

Fork Fish

My key still does not work, the Parks Trust doesn't know why and has called tech support.

And it still isn't just my key......

The water was calm tonight.

Mostly I sat sideways on a Prowler and drifted around, it was just that kind of night.

There is too much going on in my head.

Back at LaG

My friend's daughter is a Junior dancer at LaGuardia, and junior projects were tonight.

I always like going back to LaG, even though I also don't miss Daya being in high school.

Mr Sinacori was there and it was nice to see him.

I sent pics of Juilliard and LaGuardia to Daya, just in case she's a little homesick.

(She probably is not homesick, I wouldn't be either in Italy.)

102 Class & Pebbles Update

Tonight I taught the 102 patrol/self rescue/assisted rescue class at the boathouse.

I also got my yearly self-rescue done in 2 boats which is nice.

(We have to certify being able to self-rescue every year, and it's different in different boats.)

The water is still a little cold but wasn't too bad.

Soon I'll start swimming on Fridays, especially when it's hot.

If it ever stops raining.

***********

On another note, here is a Pebbles update:

I have reached the end of my sanity.

Pebbles peed on my bed this morning, right in front of me and right next to Isis.

Isis even got mad-she growled at Pebbles and left.

If you have ever seen a cat give off a "WHAT THE FUCK" expression that was it, from Isis to Pebbles.

My bed was covered so I only had to wash the 2 blankets but still.

Pebbles is also peeing on Daya's bed. (which is also protected)

It is not from a medical problem, it's her anxiety, and I have been putting up with this on and off for all 12 years I have had her.

I broke this morning. Just.... broke. Finally.

The appointment to put her down is June 26.

Daya wants to be there and that's literally the only day she can do it.

The other thing is she isn't responding to treatment.

She is not a healthy cat, not with the digestive stuff and her heart issues.

She doesn't weigh enough and the only thing really keeping her appetite up is prednisone, which is already messing up her liver.

Pebbles is definitely sick and Isis knows and is attacking her. (cats will do that)

It's only a matter of time....she's not actively dying but she's not doing well and I think if I leave it alone it'll be a slow expensive process. I don't think she will make it through the year.

Either the prednisone is going to ruin her body or she'll essentially starve to death from not eating/absorbing her food.

I do not want her to be in pain, and I do not want to prolong anything just for the sake of prolonging.

It's time.

I have a few weeks to process it... it hasn't hit me yet and there are a lot of feelings because I do care about the cat but also she has caused me SO MUCH stress and I'm just done.