AED.1

One of the things I would like to get out of this month of art every day is to start working regularly in my sketchbook again. It's been a long time since I kept one, and I know they are indespensible to any artist.

Starting sketchbooks (and journals!) is very difficult for me. Once I've worked in a book for a while, I get to "know" it but that aquaintance period is difficult. So I thought to start with a dedication.

Here is Athena, who I have loved since I was a small child. She is a goddess of wisdom and war, but also the arts.



Actually I started drawing daily a few days ago and it feels really good. A lot of insecurities surrounding my art and creativity and surfacing, and most of it is my belief that I'm not as good as I should be because I haven't put the time and effort into my craft. I need to build a current portfolio.

I always had a wish that I needed to make art like I have to breathe- but over the years I've had difficulty finding that fire of inspiration.

Serena, thanks for being my friend during this journey. It's great to have some moral support.

:)

New Year

My intention for the new year:


May you also be blessed with happiness.


Daya was a faerie. It suited her very well. Please note that the almost-three year old is bigger than I am.


And my cat says hi. One day I will learn how to focus my camera properly for close-ups.

Happy Halloween/Samhain!

Yesterday, Chris posted a ficticious scary story and invited readers to post their scary stories in the comments section. I was going to write my scary story there but felt it might be better placed here.

This is a true story, from my deep dark past. After you read it I think you'll understand why I never tell it.

Some years ago I was involved with the Pagan scene here in NYC. I was in what I guess you'd call a coven. That in itself was not scary- liken it to very small religious services. A lot of it was a good experience and I learned a lot. But I digress.

During that period I was also on a couple Pagan-oriented email lists. I think it was still eGroups at the time. (Remember eGroups?) Well, on one of the lists I got into a small tiff with a girl who was into some questionable stuff. (demons I think?) She got mad at me (why I can't recall) and threatened to "show me" (paraphrased). I didn't think too much about it- perhaps at most I thoguht I'd have a strange dream. But I didn't.

***pause for some background details***

At the time I lived in a basement apartment in a private house. The windows were small and high up near my ceiling. My bed was positioned in a corner so that my head was near one of the windows.

The girl I got into the tiff with lived across the country somewhere. She was not on the east coast.

***resume story****
This happened over a weekend because I was sleeping in. The next morning I was fast asleep and i heard a voice outside my window. It was a male voice, very deep and oddly, very beautiful. Something about it, though, "carried through the air" wrong. (I don't know how else to describe it.)

My blinds were down but I could tell that it was bright and sunny outside. Anyhow I couldn't really make out what the voice was saying, being half asleep and all, but as I came to full awaremess it was saying things like "You don't believe in me I'll show you." I don't recall anything else it said except for it's threat to "piss on my head". Which meant it knew where I was in the apartment without ever having been inside or seeing through a window. I was really freaked out and so did the only thing one can do in that kind of circumstance- I prayed.

And it worked. Immediately. The person/thing went away.

I tried calling the police but my phone was dead. I quickly got dressed and my very freaked out landlady was at the front door of the house. She said she had called me twice and left 2 messages on my machine. I never did get them. The incident also blew out the power supply on my computer. (That really pissed me off.) I asked what the man looked like- she said he had longish blonde hair, was walking funny and had a bottle in his hand. They had never seen him before. I told them I had no idea who it was and it wasn't a friend of mine. I don't think they believed me but nothing more ever happened.

My phone started working again and I bought a new power supply for the computer. I also slept at my friends' place the following night. For over a month I slept with the lights on.

Remind me sometime to tell you about the stuff that was happening in my apartment right before Daya was born when my ex was completely loco.

I'm off to Target now! Happy Halloween, love and kisses!

31

Today I am 31. I am definitely older, my wisdom is questionable at best, but dammit I can still fit into the cute shiny blue shirt I wore in college AND the cute size 4 grey and black business dress I bought at the World Trade Center back in 2000. (I somehow can't part with it so it might as well still fit!)

Those two items of clothing are my size benchmark. The dress is a little tighter (it was really loose when I got it) but I had a kid ok? And I gained wisdom and that's got to take up space somewhere right? Actually I can still wear the dress and not feel embarassed.

I know because I tried it on this morning. If it wasn't true I'd be lamenting instead of being happy.

Did you know that having kids does awful things to your body? I really think that is the most unjust thing about being a woman. Pregnancy should make our bellies tighter and definitely should not make The Girls flatter than they should be. The kid doesn't want to come out? Mom gets a C Section belly for life! It's so unfair. Yes it is.

But all in all, I still fit into the same size clothing I wore 11 years ago so I'm feeling pretty good about that.

:)

Friendly Letter

Dear Neighbors That Keep Flooding My Kitchen,

STOP IT OR I WILL FREAK THE FUCK OUT AT YOU. If the water coming out of my kitchen drain is from your dishwasher, use the correct fucking soap. NOT dish detergent. If my floods are from your illegal washing machine, get rid of it, suck it up and pay the $1.90 to wash and $1.90 for a half hour in the dryer like the rest of the building. Yes it's highway robbery and I totally understand but that's no excuse for you to flood my kitchen.

I do not want your waste water or your soap bubbles in my sink or on my floor or on my counters. GOT IT?

Love and kisses,
J

Art Every Day

Ok, so I have to paint soon or I'll go loopy (-er than usual). I've taken to starting anatomy studies of hands after Daya goes to bed but I can't focus very well.

My brain has been Googilized. :(

Wonderful Serena blogs about the Art Every Day Challenge for November and I'm trying to push myself to DO IT ALREADY.

So while a huge part of me is protesting (I can be such a toddler, really!) I'm signing up to do it because I think I really need to kickstart my sorry ass into producing some art!

I do much better with project deadlines and a little pressure.

The Things We Do...

...to get a kid to poop in the potty.

Daya hates to poop. She says it stinks. So she'd rather just avoid it altogether. It's not hard to figure out that this is not a workable solution, clever though it is.

So I stuck a suppository up her butt and I am hoping for the best. So far she's incredibly resistant. But in the end she can't possibly win the Poop War.







Thank goodness for laptops with DVD drives!

Dualistic Humanity

I have no qualms about admitting that I often feel frustrated and disgusted at human nature. But then I am priveliged enough to bear witness to situations in which there is such a genuine and selfless outpouring of love for someone who really needs it from so many people, that- I don't know- humanity gets redemption points or something. If you haven't already, go read about Annika.

The human experience is tough because it's all one big fat hairy paradox.

For example:
I am deeply thankful for a nice apartment in a nice neighborhood and the ability to more or less manage the rent.

But then comes a 4.5% rent increase (previously was 3%) and that just pisses me off.

Does that make me gratefully pissed off? Cause I'm grateful for sure...as sure as I'm also pissed off.

Prayers for Annika

A liver became available for Annika. This is her third transplant. She's 7.

http://moreena.typepad.com

Please pray for Anni, and peace for the donor family.

Then go hug all the people you love.

I'm Here!

It's finally October!

I am such a sucker for autumn. The air has cooled off very nicely and I have once again started with my almost nightly hot baths. Work has calmed down considerably and since I have so much vacation time left, I am taking off all Fridays for the rest of the year!

A WHOLE ENTIRE DAY EVERY WEEK where I can put the child with the sitter and do whatever I want to ALL DAY!!

Museums, hello! Swimming, hello! Painting, hello! Afternoon naps, hello!!!

Now I must go catch up on blogs from some of my favorite people.

Love and kisses to all of you!

Maia

Tomorrow my friend's daughter turns 2. So of course I did a faerie portrait.

Here is MAia as a Bubble Faerie.



This whole month has been extremely hectic. I'm snowed under at work. Hopefully things will calm down a little in the next couple of weeks.

Life These Days

We're already into double-digits of September. Amazing.

More and more as I get older (ouch!) I think about how each day of my life could be the last...and how short life really is. And how lazy I am.

Work has been really draining my energy. This is not a complaint, as it's such a rare occurence. But there have been problems at work, both with the team as a whole and specific people. It has been unpleasant. And long-term. I have been feeling very bad and angry. The good news is that earlier this week a lot of the issues really came to the fore and I do think it had to happen in order for positive change to occur.

I am not a punching bag for other peoples' shadows. It is very difficult being sensitive to the energy of others in a corporate environment. I pick up on intentions. Some people are very difficult to be around.

There have been quite a few days lately where I come home feeling bad and the one thing I want is a hug from someone who really cares. That's the crappy side of being single.

But anyhow.

I'm tired. In October I'll take a few days off to decompress. Something nice to look forward to.

Thanks Serena for checking in. It really does make me smile.

Long Overdue

Todsy I went and FINALLY got myself a decent lamp for my drawing table/easel. (My old one died a few years ago and I just made due for a while.)

It's daylight spectrum magnifying glass! I LOVE LOVE LOVE it!!!



Oh, and my friend does love her painting. :)

Mikayla

My co-worker's daughter Mikayla turned one and today we went to her birthday party in Brooklyn. It was a ton of fun. She has a pool in her back yard and Daya had a blast.

As a gift, I did a portrait of Mikayla as a faerie. In watercolor, 11x14. I haven't used watercolor for about 15 years. I'm not sure if I should stick to oils and leave the watercolor alone yet...but w/c really is perfect for these types of pictures. Still not sure how I feel about the painting- I would have liked a few more days with it. It has some issues but I hope it's ok anyhow.

Here is the drawing (9x12):



I transferred it to 11x14 via the light box, painted it, then framed it.



I hope my friend likes it. (We didn't open the presents during the party.)

Political PRT?

Check this out from CNN! August Curse!

Maybe they should know about PRT; it might help.

More PRT developments:
I submitted an expense report on 8/8. I submitted my receipts 6 times. The system wouldnt recognize any of them, not even for the help desk. They don't know why. I uess they put it through because it finally made it to my anager for approval.

But I still haven't been paid. *sighs*

PRT Buffer # 2

Just in case anyone is still doubting WHY I encase myself in the buffer of Pigeon Risk Time (PRT), here's a good story.

Tonight I had a disk in my DVD drive. Suddenly, I heard a very loud CRACK!! (it scared the cat)

Would you believe that a cd shattered- and I mean shattered- in the drive while it was playing???

Of course the drive is ruined. Which is a shame, it was not cheap.

Here is the photographic evidence:
(Game Time! Count the pieces of shattered cd!)


I called Jason, my computer-savvy friend in Georgia, to run this by him. (He had, in fact, heard of a zombie hard drive but had never heard of this!) Like many computer-inclined people, Jason has a lot of assorted computers and computer parts sitting around. In fact, he said it was on his list to ask around to see in anyone wanted parts. So he's sending me a new DVD drive!

Isn't that really nice of him?

I think so. Thanks, Jason!

And that, friends, is how PRT is a good buffer. Sure, the drive freaked out but I don't have to spend $$ on a new one. The CD wasnt really important and will be easy and very cheap to replace.

*****
Also, I got a note from my bank in the mail today. Apparently I went overdrawn for $2 and they charged me $34 a week and a half ago. What I think they do is mess with time stamps on activity so that debits come right before credits. They have charged me fees before claiming that my paycheck hit the account a half hour after a debit, so in their eyes there were not funds in the account. A half hour.

Fuck you Citibank.

Moving On

What else is there to do but pick up a brush and fix it?

I put in about 3 1/2 hours tonight...not too bad actually...I'm about halfway done fixing it to where it was before the water puddles.

Thanks everyone for the commiseration. It really helped. :)

This morning Daya said "I'm sorry about the painting." So that's good, she gets that she did something bad.

Really Mad

I need to be mad.

Because Daya knows to stay away from my drawing table.

Except she didn't, and that's why an entire cup of water was spilled on my artwork, which I have spent MANY HOURS on and now it's ruined. I'll have to essentially re-do most of it.

PRT Buffer #1 Update: The Zombie Hard Drive

A while back I put a new 400 gig hard drive in my puter. I used the existing 80 gb one as a backup. The 80 gig died though, and has remained inside my computer because I was too nervous to take it out. Because I think I did something that killed it when I switched things out. Not really a big deal, I didn't lose any data, it has been sitting there dead and unused for a long time, except when I boot up I get a message that the drive has errors.

Except last night the clicking started. All googled results said impending death, badness, destruction, back-up-NOW kind of thing.

Then the constant clicking stopped but every few minutes it started clicking AND beeping!

Restarting the computer three times gave me three different experiences, until finally it refused to boot altogether. I could not pass the message about the slave hard drive having errors. So, I shut everything down and took the damn thing out. Ran CHKDSK which reported no errors.

So, can anyone explain why my dead hard drive came back to life just to say "I'm DEAD please remove me!"

Ratfest 2008

The most amazing thing about Ratfest is that it's been going on for SEVEN YEARS.

Matt and Dru and I took the bus from Port Authority. Oddly enough, there was a pigeon wandering around the lower gates. I think he wanted to come to Ratfest too.



Once again, I made the cake this year. Fun with Fondant!



Here I am doing rat portraits again.



As always, I got next to no sleep and was completely jacked up on caffeine. Here is one of the pots of tea I drank. My friend special orders it from France. It is AMAZING.



This year we had a special performance of Everybody Likes Yogurt Drops by Matt and Jane!

Click Here to see the picture that inspired it all! (copyright Matt Kaplan)

Click Here to watch the video!

We all got home on Sunday. I took Monday and Tuesday off. I literally slept all day Monday, and today I had a good long nap as well. Also, Daya the Mermaid is almost finished!

PRT Buffer #1

I'll post update and pics from the weekend in a bit.

But first, let me tell you what just happened.

My hard drive started clicking.

That is not good. In fact, it is a sign of impending HARD DRIVE DEATH.
And it is a fairly new hard drive. I shut everything down and re-booted. The disk would not start up.

Of course I freaked out. Then went to The Google (on the laptop) to see what to do.

I turned the puter on and waited a looong time, and it started up. I ran CHKDSK and it did something, moved something around. Then...

....the clicking stopped!!

I have a second check disk running just to be sure.

But...if this isn't a crazy August badness TRYING to happen then I don't know what is. Thank Goddess for PRT!!! Things seem to be fine, keep your pigeon toes crossed for me....

Monday

Pop Quiz:

Q: What's the best time for all the MetroCard vending machines to not take credit cards?

A: Monday Morning rush hour at the end of the month, when everyone's pre-paid transit needs to be refilled.

I am laying low today because I feel crappy, energy around me feels crappy, etc etc etc.

Then I read my weekly astrology report at work this morning. Here's what Mark Husson says for today:

Monday 28 July, Moon in Gemini

Venus and Chiron are fighting today and there are a couple things you should be aware of so that you don't find yourself in situations you could have avoided. You are advised not to engage in extra marital/relational affairs unless you are seriously considering ending your existing relationship. If you have already begun an outside relationship (I'm not here to judge you), then this is the week to be extra careful.

If you are having trouble in your current relationship then this is not the week to prove that you are right and your partner is wrong. This is the time to find the middle ground and to recognize that this is a difficult cycle. Less is way more. This is also not a great time to start a business because you don't want this aspect in your business chart. The good news is that it only last for 3 days (ending on July 31).

Anyhow. I'm going to be positive and say 2 good things that happened:
1. A friend that I don't talk to as much as I used to called me yesterday and we had a really nice, long talk and it was great to hear from her.

2. My July utility bill was under $100! YAY! (not by much but still...)

******
Friday starts the beginning of Pigeon Risk Time (PRT). It's also the start of a powerful 3 day eclipse. A Pigeon Risk Eclipse. Also, it's the 7th annual North East Rat Fest.

Two Quick Things

1. I got another swimsuit, Off ebay again. Brand new CUTE black Champion athletic suit for 99 cents. It fits perfectly, is excellent quality, and I *love* it. Also, the girls stay where they belong.

2. We have officially started potty training. Someone please wish me luck. Then offer advice because I need it.

Minnesota

I spent the past weekend in Minneapolis with my friend Debbie, who was kind enough to host me for 5(!) days. She was an impeccable hostess and even left fresh flowers and a robe out for me.





I am seriously looking at relocating to Minnesota and will start seriously looking for a house next year. This one was on sale...isn't it CUTE??????????



The lakes are gorgeous, the air is clean, and best of all there is NO ONE THERE!
I biked about 15 miles around the lakes on Friday, and Saturday we went kayaking.

Here are some pretty lake pics:

First Class

I went to Minnesota over the weekend. 5 days actually. Had a great time. I'll post pics tonight.

On the way home Monday night, my flight was delayed. I was tired and more than ready to go home but things could have been worse. As I sat at the gate, I thought to myself, "I have never flown first class. That must be nice; I'll have to try it sometime."

Not even 10 minutes later I was called to the podium. They switched me to first class. Seat A1.

First class really is much better than coach.

July Update

I'm such a booger, having neglected my blog for so long.

How are you? Well, I hope.

By the end of this blog post you will be able to:
*Summarize recent events of my boring life
*Re-tell a very embarassing but funny story
*Laugh with relief that you are not the one writing the embarassing story

Oh dear Goddess I have been working too much I fear...Learning Objectives in my blog... horrors!

THE SUMMARY
*Daya and I joined the Jewish Y.(YMHA) The Jewish Y ROCKS. I love it. And I'm not even Jewish. But...Shalom!
*Daya started swim lessons. She's doing great and is very cute in the water.
*I get to swim, too!! I love love love to swim. Water makes me feel so peaceful. There is nothing like the peace of underwater. And its wonderful exercise. Two things I have wanted since I was a kid: an inground pool and a shiny black baby grand piano. One day I will have both.
*Waffles are going very well. I made Cherry Yogurt Oat waffles, they are fantastic.
*Daya Mermaid is still sitting half finished on my drawing table. My latest creative energy was put into beta testing some software.
*Work has been a little bit stressful in a not-good way.

What? You want pictures too?
oh, ok.

Daya has a new thing where she askes me what my name is. I tell her. Her reply is "I'm Queen Daya!" She might be right.



A few weeks ago I went to Chinatown for vegetarian dim sum with my friend. It was awesome. We both ate for $13.76 total! Unheard of! Afterwards we walked up through little Italy. I saw this sign:



That's a pretty hefty claim so I had to check it out to see if it was true.



It was true.

OK, get your cannolis and tea ready, it's time for Last Night's Embarassing Story:

As I mentoned before, I am swimming at the Wonderful Jewish Y. Last night I went without Daya for an absolutely delicious swim. I have a one piece Nike swimsuit that has lasted for seven (7) years and counting. But it's nearing the end of its lifespan so I got a new one. A brand new black one-piece DKNY off Ebay for $15 including shipping.

I wore it last night. Everything was great.

Except for one thing.

The cute new swimsuit? It's a little low in the front. Not made, apparently, for people who are actually going to swim...just for people who want to look slinky by the pool.

Any real swimming whatsoever frees the girls and they...um....

...float.

I actually went home to change into my old suit, then went back to the pool.

love-love!

A Break from Dora

I have watched The Adventures of Milo and Otis probably about 8 times in the last few days. Daya loves it, they are not annoying, and there are no songs to stay in your head.

But even a break from Milo and Otis is necessary- now Daya is going around saying "I am She-Ra!"

My Poor Neglected Blog

I have not been writing because:

*I have been making waffles. (yum)
*I have been lazy.
*Daya has other ideas about what to do with the computer.
*It's been really &#&%ing hot here. (Julie and Serena HOW do you manage???)
*I have been (sort-of) diligently cleaning my apartment.
*The lure of Amazon.com is stronger than the lure of Blogger.
*I fell asleep. Twice.
*I ran out of flour (for the waffles) so had to go to the store to get more.
*I have been meditating
*Lots and lots of good thoughts and reflections that never really do make it to the blog. (I was going to do a whole post on death last Thursday. Then the next day my sister told me her friend's brother died the next day. Sad.)
*I have a whole list of things I really need to do and am avoiding. Important stuff, too.
*My cat started puking on the bed and I had to chase her off before she hacked up that hairball. (Note to self: non-puking cat next time, ok?)
*I was making tea.
*I really did have to go to work.
*I did paint a little (but am still not done. (Pls see point about it being really &^%$ing hot here)
*Daya sat in a box and I had to take a picture.
*I was reading.

Does anyone out there know if PG Tips makes decaf tea?
And where in NYC I can find it?

Oh, also, HOW do you get the Backyardigans out of your head?

As it turns out...

...I make fabulous waffles.

Do you like waffles? I love them. So I got a waffle iron.

Pictured: 1 cinnamon waffle, 3 cinnamon chocolate chip waffles.
Not pictured: The Plain Waffle. (I ate it)



Oh, I am still working on the Daya Mermaid painting. It's about halfway done. Pics soon.

Daya the Mermaid

Daya is a lot of things these days- a princess, a pirate, a mermaid, and (the newest) a giant.

Which is fun. So I had an idea, which might be really dorky and stupid, I don't know. But anyhow, I am doing some illustrations of her as her different characters to hang in her room. I drew Daya the mermaid tonight, and tomorrow I'll start painting it. (Gouache on Bristol) She's petting her pet fish, Fishie. (Oh, did I mention I got her a fish a week or so ago? I did, a blue green betta. She named him Fishie.)

Hmmm the eyes are bugging me a little, I think she's looking the wrong way. I'll fix it tomorrow.

Today

Firstly, I'd like to clarify the picture in my previous post. The one with three quarters of a tube of gouache in Daya's hair. The look on her face has nothing to do with the paint; she was merely trying to undo the seatbelt on her bicycle.

Here is how Daya helped me celebrate Mother's Day:

*Woke up at 6:57am
*Nabbed the salsa jar from the fridge and practiced putting it in a bowl, and missing. (7:02am)
*Pulled the curtains off the window and the curtain rod out of the wall
*Peed on the floor
*Poured a bag of incense in my tea
*Dumped her pasta into one of my food storage canisters
*Went to bed at 10pm

People, I'm CRANKY AND TIRED.

Positively Irritated

The positive part is that the child got into gouache, not oil paint. Which, I would like to add, WAS stored properly and out of reach.



And I am so ^^*()+*#)*()^*+#_^ IRRITATED. My place is always a mess which I don't like. The normal stuff is so hard to keep up with and a child really and truly adds all kinds of bizarre side-messes that I just don't need. Every little single thing she does somehow turns into a mess or prevention of a mess or destruction of some kind. On top of that I have to wake up hours earlier than I want to, on weekends, and I am SO TIRED. I want to paint and there's no way it will happen when said child is awake. I am frustrated.

And people think I am kidding or "just don't know down the line" that I never ever want any more kids. Why the hell do people have to negate things like that, as if I don't know myself and my feelings (like they do!).

:(

First Bike

Friends, Jupiter is going retrograde. Jupiter is the lucky planet. Basically it means now isn't a good time to start new things but it is an excellent time to tie up loose ends and attnd to inner stuff.

I think it also means that certain toddlers forget how to sleep.

On to other topics, I got Daya her very first bike on Wednesday. She won't get off it. When I was a kid I loved riding my bike. In fact, I'd love to get a bike and ride again; I miss it. When Daya is a little older and can actually ride instead of being pushed, perhaps we'll be able to go on bike rides together. Out of the city though- I'm a little nervous riding a bike in the streets here, though people do it all the time.

Pictures soon.

:)