Prom!!

I cannot believe today is PROM!!!

Daya did not want to get her hair done.

She did not want to get her nails done.

(She did get some press-on nails...)

But she looks AMAZING and awesome and it's Prom night!!

It is being held at the Marriott Marquis in Times Square, and there is an afterparty.

Daya's friend Julia's dad (LaG Dance) drove the girls in, and Daya will take a car home at whatever time she decides to come home.

It's overwhelming how grown up she is!

A Friday Post

First, I want to say the dance department at LaGuardia did email me back and I am feeling a lot better.

LaG Dance is a very, very special place and I will always respect, love, support and admire them.

I am feeling better.

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Prom is tomorrow.

When Daya was little she was so excited about Prom and Prom dresses.

Now we are here.

Her dress is magical.

My daughter is magical.

I heard today that LaGuardia is cleaning house on horrible administration, and thank goodness.

I love LaGuardia and want it to be the special place it was intended to be.

It's not for everyone, and that's ok, there needs to be a place in society for the exceptionally gifted.

And not everyone is, AND THAT IS OK.

Everyone needs a place.

People who need more assistance.

People who are ahead.

People who are geniuses.

There must be a place for everyone.

And everyone needs to be accepted and honored where they are.

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I am coming to the end of my child's childhood.

It is bittersweet.

I have had a very brutal road.

And yes I do wish it had been easier, Daya and I both took hits because of it.

It seems to not be "necessary" to get to where we have come.

But here we are.

I loved Daya in all her phases and stages, except the hostile bits.  That has been so hard.

I have a great sense of relief and putting down a burden.

Daya is not a burden but other parents might know what i mean.

The fear and stress of doing it alone, the dangers, all the things, that is what i mean.

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I will not really be an empty nester because Daya is living at home.

Truly and fervently I wish she was in the dorms but, money.....

(I need a break too.)

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After the awards ceremony I saw Ms Mathesius.

She said to me, "Daya came into this school absolutely hating her mother.  I gave the seniors an assignment, to write about who has been most influential, and Daya wrote about you."

I would never have guessed that.

Nor do I have any idea what she wrote.

I have done such hard time for so long........... and now that i'm at the end of it... oh, I will still be the Money Tree for many more years.... but we are at a close to childhood.

I am exhausted.

And this summer there is no next year of grade school.

College is different.

Because I went away to college (I am still only the second person in my family to have gone to college), I understand it in a way I would not if I hadn't gone.

Going to Pratt gave me so much.  

It gave me my career, it made the life my daughter has and will have possible.

I'm very happy to be a white girl with a black daughter.

It has taught me so much.

I know Daya is going to obsoletely shine and dazzle and be a role model to so many who need one.

Last Day at LaG

Today was the last day of high school.

I can't believe it.

It's over.

Daya got an award, so I was there for the awards ceremony.

I went in early because the PA needed help.

Here is my probably-last-picture of the neverending stairs.

After awards, I left.

The seniors had lunch on the 8th floor.

Check out this cake!

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I was feeling pretty good most of today.

Daya brought all 7 dance paintings in early this morning so the kids could see them at their lunch.

Today was literally the only day she was in school since Wednesday to do it.
Thursday there was no school and Friday- when the paintings were supposed to go in, our stupid DOE cancelled school due to the air crap from Wednesday, even though ther were no issues on Friday at all whatsoever.  Everything got derailed but this morning really should have been fine as well.

I also sent some prints for the teachers.

Last Wednesday I sent an email to the dance department about it.

And I have still gotten absolutely no response.

And Daya said the paintings weren't out on display for the kids.

(They did do that last year.)

So I'm feeling really deflated.

The whole thing is supposed to be a fundraiser for the dance department.

The PA did send out an email to all dance families and it was also in Sunday Night News.

I really wanted the kids to see their paintings as part of their celebration, and I really thought they would do that again. And maybe at least acknowledge it.

I'm not going to be yet another thing for busy people to deal with (or not), so maybe I'm done with dance paintings.

Another New Parenting Adventure

I went into the bathroom and found this:

Yes, that is a lone edamame pod floating in clean water.

I called Daya.

Made her come in the bathroom.

I HAD to know..... how.....????

She started laughing.

I started laughing.

I said I have to know how that happened.

Told her she never put weird shit in the toilet when she was little, why is she starting now?

She said it's funnier if you don't know.

I said no it's not.

Apparently she was eating edamame in the kitchen (this happens all the time) and a pod must have fallen down her shirt, where it stayed...and she fell asleep... and then it fell in the toilet.

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In other news, Daya had a job interview this morning and accepted the offer this afternoon.

First job!! Yay!

I am so proud of her!!

A New Way to Screw Up Plein Air

I FINALLY got back to the boathouse!

It was so, SO good to be back.

The day was insanely busy.

But only one person fell in, and only one person lost their wallet in the river.

(They should not have had it with them, we do provide free lockers. And we warn people.)

After the public program ended, I was desperate to get on the wter.

Not only because I miss kayaking, but also because i needed to test out my ew kayak plein air setup.

Wierdly, no one else went out.  That's really unusual.

It did not go well.

The setup is fine and will work great, but I really screwed up.

I don't like being in the embayment alone and I was so conscious of it.

And also.............

Basically, there was a current that was pulling people out all day.  

It wasn't hard to paddle, but the drift was FAST.

I drifted out WAY past the boundaries and didn't even realize it... it really happened so fast.

I had a massive OH SHIT moment and i have never paddled so fast in my life.

It was bad.

I was genuinely scared because I was absolutely definitely not supposed to be in the middle of large boat traffic. Not like that. 

But I got back ok.

Everything got wet and I was shaken so I went back in.

I wasn't even out for a half hour.

Next time I'm going to take a tow rope and tie myself to a buoy... this was a brilliant suggestion given by another volunteer. 

My boathouse keyholder  people were very nice about it but I did apologize profusely.

This is officially my scariest plein air experience and I have nothing to show for it but I sure will next time!

Drawathon Painting and an Artist Rant on Rude Semi-Artists

The High School of Art and Design holds fundraising Drawathons to help the school.

I have no idea why LaGuardia does not do this, I did ask back in 2019 but got a non-answer.

I did exactly one painting, and it took around 5 hours because I am not as experienced in figure painting, and I am extremely out of practice.  I LOVE figurative work but it is also more expensive to do because of the model fee. (And I do not need assvice suggestions to work from photos.  Go eat canned vegetables instead of fresh ones, that's the difference. Figure drawing from photos is NOT a substitute to working from the live model, it's not even close. If it was, there would not be live figure drawing/painting sessions.)

I started at 11:30 and finished at 5:30, but there were many model breaks, probably about an hour's worth.

This September I'm going to start getting back to The League for figure practice.  Or maybe Minerva's studio, who I have been hearing about for YEARS and haven't been able to go bc Life.

Its important to keep balance, because everything we do informs everything else. I really also should do more still life, but I can't keep myself at home.

This painting is 9x12 oil on arches oil paper, which is brilliant stuff.

I used my plein air setup which everyone admired and loves, because it is truly awesome.

(I also used leftover plein air paint from last night's painting.)

My goals were to 1) get the whole figure on the page, 2) S L O W  D O W N, 3) don't get too detailed too quickly. I did accomplish all those things.

Does she have issues? Yes.

Does it matter? No.

Which brings me to my rant.

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Some lady who I don't know except I guess we are Facebook friends decided it was very important to tell me she thinks the head is a little too large.

1. This is extremely poor etiquette. Actually it is downright rude.

Why? You don't ever give critique unless someone asks for it.

I am fortunate enough to be around some REALLY proficient people in very serious art settings. Wizards. If you haven't been around it, you honestly have no idea.

No one - ever- would just come up to someone's work and point out flaws. We just don't do that.  In fact, yesterday I was commiserating with some other artists who are extremely experienced and proficient- and basically we all complained it's not fair that everyone still has drawing issues and it sucks and no one ever escapes it, not ever. And Corot was complaining he never got a certain color right on his deathbed.

THAT is how highly trained and skilled artists speak with each other.  We do not ever go point out others' problems etc, because we know 1) it's a study and doesn't matter  2) we're all in the same freaking boat, and 3) we already know and don't need someone to tell us about it.  Unless we ask.

There is a shared understanding that goes beyond words.  I have consistently experienced this only with proficient and experienced artists- particularly ones who can work from life.

2. The only people who do this are what I think of as semi-artists- people who are usually older and have just enough training to make them think they know a lot more than they actually do.  Often they are people who only render copies of photographs and do not work from life or even know how to. The people who have just enough training and think they know a lot are absolutely THE WORST. 

The reason they feel the need to pick at others is to show that they know some stuff. It's their ego, nothing else.

My friend Leah and I had a chat about this once, she said they are also the absolute WORST to teach.

It's true.

This lady who had to pick at me definitely falls into that category.  Sorry, I'm not impressed by your generic renderings of photos you didn't even take yourself done with a mechanical pencil. I will never tell you that, I will be nice and encouraging because I know you truly don't know how a real environment is, and also I think it's great that anyone is making art at all, but if you're going to pick at me my judgmental hat comes on. (And also you do like 2 paintings a year.)

3. It's not about perfection. We're all trying to get it right all the time, but we make way more errors and mistakes than successes. Any proficient artist knows this, that's why quantity is such an important thing. 

I am very aware of my issues and shortcomings and every time I'm out painting I'm thinking about it, trying to resolve it a little closer each time.  When you have the advantage of quantity you aren't so precious about every single little thing. It takes SO MUCH PRACTICE.

There are SO MANY PROBLEMS to deal with in any given painting and often I'll go out with only ONE (maybe 2) of them in mind to work on. Painting and drawing problems are like expenses- you get one solved and 10 more pop up. It is never-ending.  And the more you do, the more experienced you get, the harder it is.

It truly is-as I think it was Van Gogh who said- the more I paint the harder it gets.  Or, painting is easy when you don't know how.  And it's a thousand percent true.  When you don't know what you are doing, it's easy. And the more you learn the more difficult it gets.

These semi-artists never get to that point.

The have a very basic mentality.

Ok my rant is over.

__PRESENT__PRESENT__PRESENT__PRESENT

Plein Air for Apartment Atrophy

I haven't left my apartment for the last 5 days, except to take out the garbage and check the mail.

This was unintentional... between knocking out those 7 dance paintings in 2 days, then our toxic orange air, going out wasn't really an option.

And this evening I didn't really feel like going out either, but I forced myself.

Today has not been a great day and I'm just feeling very upset overall.

I'm really upset and angry that Daya missed what would have been her last day of LaGuardia dance and a normal high school day for absolutely NO REASON whatsoever.

It stings of covid lockdown losses and is not the way these seniors should be exiting high school.

Monday is Senior Skip Day and Tuesday is awards and celebration..... and they are done for the rest of the school year because it's just regents the last week.

So I'm just here being cobwebby and angry and upset.

At least Manhattan Youth Ballet still has their classes today and tomorrow.

Anyhow I forced myself to go out and paint, even though I really didn't feel like it.

Here is a 2 hour painting in The Ramble, not far from my Epic Tree.

This painting was very difficult to photograph with the way the light was filtering through the clouds.

Usually overcast is easier...I tried from many different angles and had a lot of trouble.

The dark colors aren't showing up particularly well.

Oh well whatever.
I still felt weird after painting but doing a painting was still significantly better than not doing a painting.

My new Holbein knife arrived on Wednesday and it's fine and nice and almost the same as my old one.

This is its first painting.

8x10 oil

Yet More Disruption

In a truly idiotic move, the the NYC DOE decided classes are remote tomorrow.

THIS IS THE DUMBEST STUPIDEST DECISION!!!!

Friday (tomorrow) is the last day of dance classes for our seniors.
Well, WAS.

They have had so much disruption already and it ends with their last dance day being cancelled.
Daya doesn't want to talk about it, I know she's upset.

I'm also upset.
They need that closure, they need that known last time, they need to say goodbye properly.

And the thing is... as of the writing of ths post, our air quality index is significantly better.  It;s not great- but the advisory is now only for sensitive groups.

And tomorrow will be even better!

So it really gets me that our seniors get more disruption for absolutely NOTHING.

Yesterday truly was dangerous.
Today is not great but better.
Tomorrow? FINE.

Other studios had performances cancelled.
It's a bad flashback to covid cancellations.
What a way to finish off the last days of high school... this year was the only "normal" year.

It's Orange Outside

As if there wasn't enough crap going on, now our air is toxic.

I don't think I have ever experienced something this weird with breathable air before.

School cancelled all performances and afterschool events.

MYB cancelled classes.

I have no pictures because I haven't left my apartment.

There are enough pictures online, you can see the weird orange sky from the thousands of images everywhere.

Tomorrow there is no school- which was planned- so I'll have to send paintings in on Friday.

2023 LaGuardia Graduation Concert Paintings

I painted the concert again.

Here are 7 paintings, done in 2 days.

I am tired.

Tomorrow I will send out a note to the dance department about doing prints to fundraise.

These are all 5x7 pastel.

All The Last Dance Concerts

Thursday: MYB show

Friday: LaGuardia Graduation Dance Concert

Saturday: MYB show

Saturday: LaGuardia Graduation Dance Concert

Sunday: LaGuardia Graduation Dance Concert

....those are just the performances I went to. 

Daya went back and forth between 2 stages doing 2 shows back-to-back.

I went to all the LaGuardia shows but only 2 of the MYB shows.

Daya had a call time for MYB on Sunday literally while she was on stage at LaGuardia.

It has been insane.

Both shows were great.

The Senior Dance Concert was fantastic, as usual.\

I am so, so SO sad to be leaving LaGuardia.

I did not take this picture

Plein Air Between Dance Shows

Daya had her first show at MYB at 12pm today.

It is an hour and a half long.

Then the LaGuardia show is at 7.

I went last night and it was AMAZING.

I had a lot of time to kill...and both shows are in Lincoln Center.

So I decided to do something new and paint at a restaurant.

I mean oil paint... I found a spot sitting outside and stayed for 3 hours.

No one minded but I should have definitely taken my smaller Belly River box.

Lessons learned...

I am not a messy painter so I felt comfortable knowing I wouldn't ruin anything.

Eating and painting together is definitely not advisable but I don't care.

Besides, see note about not being a messy painter.

I was wearing a nice dress too.

No paint migrated anywhere, not even my yellow.

8x10 oil

#FIXTHESUBWAY

I really want one of these shirts!

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I went to the opening show at Manhattan Youth Ballet tonight but sadly, I have no pictures.

I'm going again on Saturday.

And tomorrow starts the LaGuardia Senior Dance Concert.

It's a wall of dance concerts on 2 stages until Sunday.

Epic Tree in The Ramble

After work today I really had a bad painting bug, and there is an epic tree in The Ramble I really want to paint... probably several times.

So that's where I went.

Tis the season to paint barefoot in Central Park!

I did load up on bug spray. 

It is my intention to stink.

There is so much green... always a challenge for landscape.

My spare knife isn't nearly as nice as my Holbein, but it got the job done.

8x10 oil, 2 hours 

I was really in a time race against sunset!

Things You Never Expect to Learn from Being a Parent

I got new kitchen towels within the past month.

This is something that was sorely past due.

My new towels are nice.

Daya uses nutritional yeast and wiped her yeasty hands directly on the towel.

I saw this and asked her to rinse first, the towel is not a napkin, and I put the towel in the wash.

It came out stained.

I actually was surprised, I didn't think nutritional yeast would stain anything.

I spoke with her about it, but calmly and nicely.

While I'm not exactly angry... that's not the right word,,,  about my brand new towel being stained, I have that frustration...? disappointment...?? deflated...??? weariness...?? what is that word??? of someone else coming along and messing up my brand new stuff. 

The cats are worse than the kid, now that Daya is older.

Anyhow I learned that nutritional yeast stains, so be careful out there!!

TSA Inconsistencies & The Difficult Flight

I booked the flight home for first thing Tuesday morning because it was literally half the price.

We stayed with my Aunt Carole, and I had a really, really nice evening with her.

The flight was at 7am so we had to be there at 5:30.... but I woke up at 2am and could not go back to sleep.

*******

TSA is extremely inconsistent in their security protocol.

At JFK you still have to take off your shoes, which is the dumbest thing in the whole entire universe.

They make you take out your ipads laptops etc from bags.

I have to check my suitcase because solvent and "artist pigments in vegetable oil", but I will NOT check my box.  TSA security historically thinks my pochade box is suspicious because it contains magnets.  So at JFK I took that out to avoid getting searched.

There is a body scanner at JFK (but not at Charleston).

Neither Daya nor I took out our ipads and they re-directed our bags, removed the ipads, and ran our bags thru the scanner again.

In Charleston they make you walk near a dog and you don't have to take off your shoes.

Or your ipads.

Or anything, for that matter- you aren't allowed to open your bags at all.

I love consistency.

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We got on the plane and they had a problem and rebooted the plane.

Then apparently there was a ton of paperwork to do after that, so we took off 40 minutes late.

We were in a small commuter plane.

The people directly next to me and  on the whole row in front of me was a couple traveling with three very small boys. I was braced for a super crappy flight....especially on no caffeine but the parents were so obviously trying to reduce any annoyance their kids caused to others it was impossible to be annoyed.

The mom was pretty stressed out.

I can empathize.

The dad got up every 5 mins or so to fix whatever issue the boys in front of him had.

I was exhausted on their behalf.

Also, I love window seats because of the clouds!

Clouds look like snow or alien landscape.

Since the plane was one of those small commuter plans, my box wouldn't fit inside my pack in the overhead bin, so it rode with me.

We landed a half hour late and then waited for another half hour because no one was there to help park the plane at JFK. It was completely ridiculous.

We were still sitting on the plane at 10am and Daya had to be in school at 12 for class and tech rehearsal. And we had to go home first.

We finally made it home around 11:30.

If everything had been on time we would have gotten home right after 10am.

TSA did not search my suitcase on either flight.

***************

I was so, so happy to be home!

In the afternoon I took a short nap and woke up from a terrible nightmare... I was home but it was a small house with yard... and i was going outside to make food and a really weird looking man was ambling around, trespassing. I told him to leave and he wouldn't, he became belligerent.

I was afraid of him and went inside and called 911.  As I was on the phone with the 911 operator he came inside my home looking for me- but I was hiding.

I woke up in such a fright, it took me several hours to shake the feeling.

Something about that man was really scary.

**********

Jackie texted because we were supposed to do Taco Tuesday but we both forgot... she was in the neighborhood so I went to see her and say hi. That was really nice and helped make that bad feeling go away.

*********

And then it was time to order my replacement knife.

This required going back to the Source Tek order I made 13 years ago, which I found...!!! because I wanted to see the measurements for my broken knife.

The reason for this is my particular knife was discontinued in 2010 and I got one of the last ones.

Holbein did release an updated line and my new knife should be almost exactly like my old one, hopefully.  Blick had a slightly better price than Jerry's.

So sad, goodbye knife!!