Seventh Grade

Thank goodness school started yesterday.
7th grade.

Dance started too.

*****
This year Daya wanted to do a duet which is separate from everything else she does, separate as in financially separate.

I'm not paying for it.
I CAN'T pay for it, even if I was willing to which I am not.

She didn't have to do it.
I told her not to do it.
I told her to save for a year and do it next year.

But she wouldn't hear of it, absolutely WOULD NOT CONSIDER IT so I bound her to a financial contract where she has to pay 85%, and I'll throw in 15% which I think is extremely generous of me.  I prefer she pays 100%. I told her she has to pay it all by June 2018. Which puts the timing burden on me.

I would like to repeat again SHE DIDN'T HAVE TO DO IT AND I TOLD HER NOT TO.

But she insisted, so she needs to learn a financial lesson and she really hates it. She is angry and resentful with me for holding her to it, and anxiety-ridden for taking on a large financial burden. Because she says she is only 11 so she shouldn't have to.  Well that's true but the money has to come from somewhere and I. AM. DONE.  Which leaves her.

If a child goes into a store and sees something expensive they do not need and it costs too much money what do you do?  Either save for it or don't get it. Welcome to the freaking world.

Now, Daya actually does have financial means and I know she can pay for this.
Whether she wants to or not is a whole other matter.
Her birthday money plus her monthly allowance would cover it.
And we are seeing if she can get another family for after school tutoring and homework help which would definitely cover her rehearsal costs.

If her completely un-involved grandparents continue to send her Christmas and birthday money to feel good about themselves, she'll have that too.

But I am finding my self very angry today over dance because it is a money pit and Daya is often very mean to me as children this age often are. I am being pulled past my capacity with absolutely no consideration or understanding.

I'm angry that she's mad and resentful towards me for making her pay for something very expensive that SHE DOES NOT HAVE TO DO when I am already giving her so much. She has more than most children in our circumstance have.  Unfortunately she can't see it because dance is full of extremely wealthy girls.

There are some who might disagree with what I have done because it is causing Daya a lot of stress--- to which I say what about my stress and my having to keep the finances stable? She didn't have to do it.  Terms and conditions were laid out well in advance before she made her decision.

So I don't feel sorry for Daya, not at all, but perhaps I could use some consideration for the burdens I have to carry, instead of constant expectations for me to pull water out of a dry dusty well.

SHE DID NOT HAVE TO DO IT.