Carey sent me a text about her total lack of motivation, and if I thought she needed a big canvas to help get motivated.
I told her that yes, she probably does need the large canvas- but I have done exactly the same thing (for real!) and it didn't help get me motivated. It might help her though, and I hope it does.
Sometimes Stape Kearns calls me to chat, which is nice because he is really interesting and, well, cool. I enjoy listening to his stories and his perspective. We had a nice chat the other day. He is a workaholic. Work, work, work, for him, constantly. I wish I was more like that. I am definitely NOT a workaholic, as much as I would like to be. Stape has a lot of inertia- the movement kind. I have a lot of inertia- the still kind. But then again, Stape's art is and has always been his livelihood. I don't have that kind of pressure.
Time is not my problem. Like Carey, I DO have the time. Energy is not the problem- I DO have the energy. I also have ideas.
What discourages me is when I do show up at the easel- and I can't get it together. So then I think why bother, showing up at the easel won't get the energy flowing.
Perhaps I need to go outside and paint. When it is just a little nicer outside I'm going to go paint on the nature trail in the Bronx Zoo. Dru and I are going to take a nice day trip to the river walk in Poughkeepsie. And the Hudson Valley in general is very accessible, especially now that I don't really have to get Daya at a certain time from childcare. So things are opening up, slowly. New surroundings, new energy. I need that.
What I think I am is overwhelmed. That makes me shut down and I really think that is the heart of it in my case. What overwhelms me? My stupid apartment is the first thing that comes to mind. I need to get some semblance of organization.
LOL
I feel some of that, too, the not-getting-it-together thing. That is what often discourages me in just doodling in a book or something...the fact that it just doesn't end up like I want. It is why I must be so slow. Sometimes I think, just do something...but that doesn't really work to fix my mental block.
ReplyDeleteI envy your ideas. :D But I probably have more than I give credit...I do tend to put them off.
Even though I have not started my Canvas, it has already got me moving in my other areas. :D