My Downfall

I am not the lonely type

I like my own company

It's not that I always like myself

But I know what I can expect from me

-Breck Alan

I have really learned my lesson.  My downfall is that when I love someone I really will give too much and it always bites me in the end.  Hard.  It is my fault for over-giving.  Over and over.  And I have really learned now, I can say that for certain.

I guess I keep doing it because I want it to turn out differently for once.  And because if I can help someone I trust and care about I want to.  But the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.  I'm not insane anymore.

Sometimes I am too naive, or I have blinders on, or things that I would never do just never occur to me - that someone else would do it- it just doesn't even occur to me.

One thing I just cannot stomach is dishonesty. I am nuts about lying when it comes to Daya. I always tell her- tell the truth, even if it isn't what someone wants to hear- that is better than lying.  Lies always come back.  It might take a while but they come back.

I really wanted things to be different this time. And truly, I thought they were.

Now I know better for real.  Never again.  Never.