I thought April was over.

Yesterday it rained.

Today it rains.

This whole week is rain rain rain rain and I'm tired of it!

It's MAY! I'm supposed to be out painting!!

Mothers Day Thoughts and Painting

Today is Mothers Day, I have no plans except the ones I make myself.

Since yesterday I was lazy and did nothing, I decided to go out today.

I am not in the mood for crowds.

And everyone will be out this weekend because it finally isn't raining and it's Mothers Day.

Daya texted me, which was nice.

It's always hit-or-miss if I hear from her so I'm glad she at least sent a text.

I actually haven't heard anything from Daya for almost a month before today.

And that is ok. I don't mind at all.

Actually, I discovered I need it.

That's not to say she can't contact me any time, of course she can, but if she doesn't that's fine.

I am still very much in Attempted Recovery Mode, and it hasn't been very long. Just this school year, really, since she has been living in the dorms.

I discovered I need time and space away.

She moves back home next weekend and I will lose the wonderful privacy and solitude of my home.

I LOVE being in my own space and having it to myself. It's one of my favorite things about my life, and something I haven't experienced since my first apartment in my early 20s, but life was so different back then it's just not comparable.  So it's a first for me.

I am tired; I am exhausted from the last 20 years... in a place deeper than my bones.

My self care is excellent, I do the things I want to do, but it doesn't seem to be enough.

I might just need time and space and distance.

*******

My own mother is still hanging on, apparently she's talking in sentences now.

She is essentially on her end-of-life-whenever-that-happens hospice bed, has been for a few months now, and she has not asked for or mentioned either of her children.

My job is to find her burial urn.

That's all I have to say about that.

*******

I walked to NJ today to just be quiet in the woods and move around.

I went a little further on the Long Path, up to Allison Park.

It is nice there and I'll have to go back.

The grass there is nice and it was good to paint barefoot.

I did one painting, a little 6x8 oil:

A few pictures:

The entrance from the woods to the bridge:

*********

So, this is interesting and I don't know what to make of it because after my last overnight shift on the hotline, I discovered NYC Well doesn't exist anymore. It was rolled into NYC 988.

There are NYC Well signs all over the GW Bridge.

But now nyc.gov/nycwell redirects to NYC 988.

NYC 988 - Talk. Text. Chat. 24/7

This must be a fairly recent change, the hotline wasn't aware of it and I let them know.

I personally think this is kind of a problem because people are scared of 988 and now that's where they have to go.

*********

This morning was my last time going to feed Bob and Esmeralda.

They are great cats. Maybe one day I will see them again.

100% of the $$ I got went to vet bills for Pebbles........

This is my favorite thing

 Oh my god I love the power washer!

The right side of the dock was covered in thick moss and algae.

I power washed the whole thing.

It took over 2 hours.

The power washer is my favorite thing ever, it is very zen and satisfying.

I should have taken a good before picture, but you can kind of see all the moss here:

I am so proud of this dock.

I got on the train covered in algae.

******

I have a cat sitting job in the neighborhood this week.

It was Daya's job but she bailed so I took it.

This is Bob.

Esmeralda is a longhair grey cat but she likes to hide.

Bob is a whore, just like Pebbles.

Their person left the tv on for them on a pet channel.

It is so adorable. It just shows really cute animal videos.

This guy sure loves his cats!

This sign is in my neighborhood:

Pebbles Update

Today pebbles went back to the vet for a follow-up appointment.

Despite everything, she has only gained 1/10th of a pound which is bad.

This is a very Pebble-thing to do.

I thought she had gained more; she sure feels more solid but that scale doesn't lie.

I could have gone to Europe on the amount of money I have spent on this cat.

And Pebbles is VERY difficult to live with.

No other cat has stressed me as much as Pebbles has, consistently over the last 13 years.

I'm at the end of my rope with it.

I'm at the end of my stress limit, I'm definitely past the end of my financial willingness.

Especially since IT DIDNT EVEN HELP.

I'll get an update on Saturday.

*******

A guy came into the vet office while I was waiting.

And I was waiting for a long time because the office was running behind.

It's normal for people in the waiting room to talk to each other but this guy was something else, and he immediately hit my radar in a bad way.

He has a calico cat.

Who is the "only calico cat on the planet with perfectly spaced colors like this" because Howard Stern's wife told him so.

The guy was absolutely completely unhinged. 

Fantastical bragging, fantastical drama about his life, WAY oversharing with complete strangers, WOULD NOT SHUT UP about himself. Also he was a college professor since 17 years old, has a computer science AND a martial arts background, was born with "hypersensitivity" whatever the fuck that is (probably schizophrenia), has had dramatic near-death experiences a few times etc etc etc.......

I closed my eyes and pretended to nap so he would not engage with me.

I had to hear his dumb stories twice, and they kept getting weirder and weirder.

He spoke like a narcissistic schizophrenic weirdo who wanted to just talk fantastical shit about how special and divine they are and the great dramatic depths of their suffering that no one else can possibly relate to.  

Awful.

More Wildlife Refuge Painting

Tonight we have nice weather, so I went down to the wildlife refuge to do a painting.

It was very serene and peaceful.

8x10 oil, always thinking about irregularly-spaced horizontal intervals.

Princess Nubbytail

Tonight I finally finished that painting that got interrupted.

This is Aimee's foster kitty. Her real name is Velma but she has a short nubby tail so I renamed her Princess Nubbytail and it stuck.

This painting was a bit of a haul and it didn't come together until the final 10 minutes.

Sometimes that happens.

Princess Nubbytail, 9x12 oil

I used Jennifer Gennari's palette, complete with Lead White.

Boathouse CPR

It's that time of year again, and I am up for my CPR certification renewal for the boathouse.

I have to keep a current certification because I am a keyholder.

The class is a fun one; Warren teaches it at several boathouses in the area.

I got to be injured, stabilize injuries, and pass out.

And I had 2 green lights on my CPR dummy for the whole 2 minutes!

I am so ready for the season to start...I can't wait to get on the water!

Candle

Sometimes we all need a little divine assistance, protection, and blessing.

Rockaway Sunset Painting

I went to the beach after work to paint.

The plan was 2 paintings... a regular seascape and then a sunset painting.

First painting, 8x10 oil:

And the second painting, 6x8 oil:

The colors over the water weren't that great... then I looked behind me...!!!

Oh well, lesson learned, next time!

Stranger Things on Broadway

There is a new Stranger Things play on Broadway.

Grace had an extra ticket and asked me to go with her.

It's a good play...the staging is incredible, so is the acting.  The story is..... mostly good.

It could have been a half hour shorter.

The end was fantastic, it got a standing ovation.

It'll do well on Broadway, I think.

Despite the play REALLY not being for children, the people behind us brought their child and it was annoying and distracting.

If you are in town and are thinking of seeing it you should.

When I got home there was an AMAZING gift in my mailbox from Dru:

Thanks Dru!!

Rockaway Wave Study

Today is my last egg tempera class until september.  

Last week I was ready to start something new, but I didn't want to do a long painting so I pulled reference from Far Rockaway from last September and did this little wave study.

Doug gave excellent advice and I learned a lot.

5x7 egg tempera, features a lot of cobalt green.