Experiments on Rockaway Beach 98

Lately I feel I have gotten a little too routine with my plein air workflow.

(I'm not saying it's easy, it never will be... but I'm feeling too routine.)

That's not good; it's important to re-evaluate and change things up now and then and try new ways of working. It's important to be uncomfortable.

So I have been looking at how Patrick Okrasinski works because I love his plein airs.

It also seems that 9 times out of 10, the people whose work I like have a classical atelier background.... as Patrick does. (That takes money.  A lot of money.)

Anyhow my palette is 90% the same as his (we both use black, and we use it in the same ways, so take that black-haters!), mostly with the exception of his cadmium lemon (which I use only occasionally) and my PG50 cobalt turquoise, which is definitely not traditional.

Patrick also paints on paper more than I do.

I have a bunch of Arches oil paper and I do love it.

But I generally don't use it for plein air; I love my linen panels.

If I had to travel and was going to do a bunch of paintings, I'd use paper too.

But one other main thing that is different is he doesn't use solvent- only straight-up linseed oil.

Yes I know a lot of people paint solvent-free, but I don't. In general the claims about oil paint and toxicity are way overblown, now that actual turpentine is out of the picture for the most part.

Solvent is just another tool that gives a wide range of technical ability.

But a few days ago I watched one of his plein air videos and decided to try this workflow.

I found it challenging mostly because I still have no idea how he keeps his brushes clean between colors.

I don't even see him wipe them on a rag.

I brought 2 rags.

So anyhow, even though I had the overnight shift on the hotline last night and am half brain-dead, I needed to stay awake so I went to the beach to paint.

I felt a little uncoordinated with the paint handling, my biggest challenge was switching colors and keeping the brushes clean. And layering the paint feels different. This is something I may have to practice a bit in studio, and it's worthwhile to do so.

While I am unlikely to give up solvent, painting like this may give me easier travel options.

Also, the paint feels nice working in this way. I need to try again when I'm not completely brain-dead.

8x10 oil on Arches paper

This pigeon came right over to say hi.

The ocean is magical.

I Am Unreasonable, A Labyrinth Dilemma, and ...REALLY?

I went to the office today and made tea, because i am always making tea.

Usually the kitchen has nice small teaspoons.

Not today.

They were all gone.

So I had to use the shovel pictured below to stir my tea.

I work for a British company and this would never fly in the London office!

The reason I am unreasonable to complain about this is that I have a spoon of the correct size in my backpack.

I always carry one. Because you never know when you will need a spoon.

I just didn't feel like washing it.

**********

There is a little labyrinth in Battery Park, and I want to paint there.

So today I took a walk at lunch to scope out the location.

I couldn't find it......

It's been a while since I was in Battery Park and it is a fuckcluster (and also a clusterfuck) of construction.

I am so embarrassed for my city.

It's so bad.

After texting with Kedrin, commiserating about the construction, and admitting defeat, I finally found the hidden secret entrance, which looks like it is barricaded by construction.  You'd never find it unless you were specifically looking.

I can't believe I found it!

It is a very peaceful adorable clearing- or it would be without the construction.

I'm not sure if I want to paint here or not (yet) because that dumb construction wall is such a bummer.

I could move the landscape at the left over, but I don't know.

It does affect the light, and not in a good way.

Something to think about.

********

This train notification just came in....... REALLY? SERIOUSLY?

THIS is what we have come to???

Monster Easel and Not-Good Evening Thoughts

I assembled the rest of this monster easel after I got home from my shift last night.

I got home around midnight, and the assembly was done right before 2am.

It had to happen.

Today I didn't leave my apartment.  Although I didn't get everything done that needs doing, I did get my studio in good working order and I did start a new painting.

I also pulled out an old Topiary Cat series I started in 2018 (!!!); I'd really like to finish it.

This easel is a monster! It hits the ceiling but so does my old one so I expected it.

Kedrin is coming over in a few weeks with her hand saw and palm sander, and we're going to chop a few inches off the mast so I can raise the tray a little higher.

My space is still tight but much cleaner and more organized.  I needed this; I didn't realize how much.

I had years of buildup; it happens.  I threw out a bunch of stuff I never use and cleared a lot of space.

My easel area is organized and functional.

I LOVE the crank system on this easel!

And it has that front tray, which is removable.

Maybe I'll use that, maybe I won't.

New easel and old easel

Coming Soon: Easel Amputation!

Isis is very pleased.

And the end setup with Brush Farm moved to the window.

I put Rocco under the window so the cats can still go up there.

*******

I painted a little tonight and it felt good and also weird to just paint from my head and know I can take my time and work in layers. I haven't done a larger layered studio oil painting in a while and it feels so different, like I don't know what I'm doing. I feel artistically wobbly.

And maybe that's why what something a friend of mine said on Facebook really bothered me tonight......

My friend X, who I have corresponded with for many years and have taken a class with, is a true master. As in scary freakishly good. They are also a wonderful teacher. I respect them immensely and love their work.

And out of nowhere they posted a dvd class another artist has on their website and trashed the guy's work. Said it's B-level school work and he shouldn't be taking money from people.

The painting on the DVD is not the guy's best work.

So of course I went to the guy's website.

He's a working professional painter, has a lot of work and an impressive educational resume.

He has studied with some top names in the American Fine Art World.

He has 5 or 6 galleries representing him.

He's a signature member of OPA.

He's not just some guy calling himself "self-taught" who paints from photos.

Is he as good as my friend?

Not even close.

When you're at the master level X is, I can see how it would be bothersome.

Hell, *I* roast bad art all the time, especially in museums.

But unless the person was being mean and arrogant somehow, I wouldn't do that to a current professional working artist.

Do I personally care for his style? Mostly no.

He's got some nice stuff but honestly- mostly it's not my favorite.

But I don't think he deserves to be trashed either.

His work is not so compelling I would study with him, but in all fairness, he's WAY more accomplished than I am.

What do other really good artists see in my work?

All my mistakes?

Maybe I'm that crappy too.

I'm not accomplished at all; I'm just some girl who has a corporate job, paints in my apartment (and everywhere else) and is thrilled at a $300 sale.

Maybe I've fought against brutal life to keep painting and working all these years just to never get beyond mediocre.

It's Difficult & Miserable to Paint in Strong Wind

Even though we have a Red Flag Warning today, I couldnt just stay home and not paint.

But I was really dragging this morning, and I have a hotline shift tonight so I have to time everything.

Last night I woke up in the middle of the night to the smell of fire.

Everything seemed ok so I went back to sleep, only to learn this morning the palisades were on fire last night.  That's bad.

I got myself together and went down to the Jamaica Bay Wildlife Refuge, hoping for an easy trip and some solitude in nature.

Of course there was a school group there.......mostly I was able to stay away from them.

The wind was really bad and I was miserable, regretting my decision to go out and paint.

The painting is a little messier than I wanted, however it was physically impossible to hold the brush steady with the wind; it was so strong. Also the wind blowing on me had me crying for the whole second half of the painting.  It's difficult to paint through tears. oh well.

8x10 oil

I am feeling very overwhelmed, chaotic, and stressed, so being outdoors painting in nature is helping me stay afloat, even if I still feel unbalanced. Hopefully next week will be better.

AND... look what was waiting for me when I got home...!!!!!

FINALLY.

Now I can finish assembling that damn easel.

As dumb as it sounds, I feel like everything in my apartment has been on hold since a week ago Wednesday because of this. It's a wreck in here.

I need it out of the way (and it is taking up a LOT of floor space), I need it in its space so I can arrange everything else, purge, and clean. I need my studio to be functional again.

Of course the assembly has to wait now because I have a hotline shift...... ugh....

Maybe I chose the wrong day to go uptown?

I am off work today so of course I went painting.

last-minute I decided to go up to Ft Tryon Park by the Cloisters and paint my favorite yellow tree.

I did take my work phone because we had a team meeting, and I don't like missing them.

I left early enough I figured I would be either walking in the park or already painting.

So up to Ft Tryon I went.

Got on the uptown B train at Rockefeller. *****

The train did not move.

Then it went out of service.

Ok, quick re-think: I went downtown one stop to 42nd street to catch the 1 to Columbus Circle.

Went to the AC/ DB platform to get the A.

That never arrived either.

Oh, ok apparently there was a police investigation at 72nd street.  C trains were running so I got on one up to 145th st, mostly because I was tired of being at Columbus Circle.

Someone on the C train said there was a shooting at 68th street and they ran into 72nd st on the train there. Then another guy on the platform at 145 was lamenting he would never get to work, he had walked up from 125th st. He told me yes there was a shooting, he'd never be able to get to work.  He took a picture of the status monitor and went home.

I dialed into my work meeting from a bench at 145th st.

This event knocked out 5 train lines (they rerouted the downtown E) for over an hour.

It landed in the NY Times.

**** that evacuated train at 72nd st was a B train, probably the one right before I got on at 34th st.

While I certainly would have gotten off at 59th street, I'm still SO GLAD it wasn't my train that got evacuated!

FINALLY the A train arrived and I got up to the park.

And took another work call.

*******

My favorite yellow tree isn't yellow yet; I'll have to go back.

I decided to paint the Palisades instead.

It's freakishly warm out, despite the fall foliage.

75 is too warm for November.

8x10 oil

Ft Tryon is so pretty this time of year.

After painting, I met up with a friend from work for more happy hour oysters....

Even though I'm not really going anywhere, and the incident on the train, and working this morning, today was a lovely vacation day.

Ugh

I had a very bad mental health day yesterday.

Today it's slightly better, but not much.

It's partly election anxiety; I don't know how much but it's impossible to be unaffected.

I'm not watching anything tonight; I'm burned out and can't take any more.

Last night Isis was trying to use the litterbox but couldn't.

She kept peeing a few drops, exiting, grooming her bottom, repeat cycle.

I called the vet.

He said it's probably a stress-induced bladder inflammation and just leave her alone.

The cat is very stressed.  I did manage to get antibiotics down her throat for 10 days, last pill was Sunday morning. She's still not acting right from the stress.

And now she can't pee.

AND I STILL HAVE $650 WORTH OF USELESS EASEL BITS TAKING UP A RIDICULOUS AMOUNT OF FLOOR SPACE. 

My studio is total chaos because of this and it's absolutely stressing me out.

I'm very upset about it.

Monday afternoon I heard from Jerrys- they said they found a replacement part and are mailing it.

*****

I'm focusing slightly better at work today, but now I have a different kind of interruption, the Pebbles kind.

I call this image "Working with Cat"

Later on I'm also going out for a little while to meet up with Sharon; we haven't seen each other for a while.

I predict we'll end up at Trader Joes....

And FWIW I'm so glad I don't have a hotline shift tonight.

I'm really not up to it. Not today.

Franca's Ladybug

Once a while ago at work I was having a very bad day.

My co-worker gave me a chocolate ladybug.

It made me feel a lot better- the gift, not the chocolate.

I decided it needed to be a painting, and I kept it.

This was probably last year sometime.....

Back in June, I started the painting in egg tempera.

Put it on hold.

Fought with the background.

Put it on hold again.

Went back to egg tempera in October and finally finished it today.

Doug gave some good guidance and the painting is better than it would have been otherwise.

5x7 egg tempera and metal leaf

Voting & Oysters

Daya came home to vote.

It's her first time voting in an election.

Then we went out for happy hours and oysters.

Daya took me out for my birthday!

We have a spot we like, it's now our regular.

It's Docks in midtown- they do a great happy hour.

We had a really, really nice time.

She values our good relationship, as do I.

It's just so nice to be getting along so well.

Sure, I still annoy her sometimes but that's fine, but all that hostility she had is just gone and I'm so happy about it.

She actually apologized for everything she put me through.

Once years ago someone told me that she would, but it would take a long time.

I didn't believe it.

I still can't believe they were right.....

....someone just went and ordered a pinot noir like she's done it a thousand times and took me by surprise.......

oh that scared me..... what am I supposed to do if they checked her........ they said they figured i'm her mom and didn't....... I need to talk to her about this, actually I have already but maybe I need to again....

But anyhow she faked me out so I asked how many times have you done this, she said this was my first time!

I said you like pinot noir?

She said I don't know this is my first one!

I ended up drinking some of it, it was very good pinot noir... she's good with a few sips and then she's done.

I do not worry about her and substance problems.

I DO worry about her being over-confident ordering.....

She's just at that barely-adult-try-new-things phase.

(we all did it)

I got a free birthday creme brulee!

Seriously, our waitress was really cool... and she has a 19 year old daughter.

That under-face lighting is always the most flattering......

Oh anyhow it was a great time, such a nice time with Daya.

Swindler's Cove and GRRRR x 2

Swindler's Cove is a little park right on the Harlem River.

I took the 1 to Dyckman, and from there it's a little bit of a walk but worth it.

I felt really blah and tired today, but I liked this little waterfall.

Rocks are actually quite difficult to paint...I can't say I'm very happy with this painting but as always I did learn from it. Lately I have been busier than usual and there are also a seemingly endless amount of life crap things to deal with- I'm tired and overwhelmed.

8x10 oil, 2 hours

********

GRRR 1

Back in July I got an email at work wanting verification if I do, in fact, need my Adobe Creative Cloud license. Yes I do; I can't work without it.  So I replied yes to the email.

Early October I got another email; saying final warning on the same verification.

Once again I replied yes, I need my license.

On Oct 15 my license got shut off.

Apparently there was a form link buried in a long email with tables of information and I missed it.

The person who got my response could not give me the courtesy of saying fill out the dang form.

So I lost my license.

I was told just put in a new software request, which I did.

My manager approved it then went on vacation for a week.

The help desk said "But you already have a license."

I sent screenshots.

I spoke to people.

I chatted in Teams.

I emailed the escalation team.

While I was in contact with the help desk, someone closed my ticket with the reason they tried to contact me three times and were unsuccessful.

I lost my shit.

Privately, but still.

This is the kind of thing that tanks a person's mental health due to the sheer frustration and insanity of it all. Also, I couldn't work, and I spent 2 vacation days dealing with it.

I had to open another ticket, which my manager approved while he was on vacation.

It took a week but I finally got my license back.

And even though I'm on vacation today, I checked into work and found out that once again, my license was vaporized.

It happened to everyone in the company who has a license though, not just me.

Even all the people who didn't miss there was a form. (a lot of people missed the form)

So when I'm back at work Monday it's unlikely I'll be able to do anything because I doubt I'll have my license back by then. My whole team is down though, and i'm not as worried about it.

*******

GRRR 2

I need a new laundry hamper, so I ordered one off Amazon.

And received this instead:

This is actual deliberate fraud, and makes me very angry.

Amazon said the only thing they can do is issue the return label and they won't give me a refund because the third party seller had to do it.

I asked them how they thought a fraudulent third-party seller was to be trusted to issue the refund?

They said they can't do anything until I do a return.

So I mailed the fucking green crayon and i'm out $42 until I go through a bullshit process.

And if you're laughing just stop because it's not funny and it's one more thing on a pile of life shit I'm dealing with. This is really the kind of thing that pushes people over the edge.

I still have $650 worth of useless easel parts in the way, I really do need that laundry hamper, and I'm so sick of the scammers and fraud that is rampant with no real consequence. And now I have to go to the post office and wait in line tomorrow because that is the only way the return will be accepted.

So if you think its funny you can send me $42 yourself and then go fuck off.