Under the Pine Cone Tree

I haven't been to Green-Wood Cemetery in probably 20 years, definitely not since before Daya was born.
And I keep meaning to go.

But it is such a long train ride... I can take one train all the way over, but it is also a local train and makes every single stop. It takes an hour and a half one way........

But I knew today would be a painting day, and I almost went to Roosevelt Island again.... and then thought why not Green-Wood? I can go to the Pine Cone Tree and see what's going on.  Be somewhere new that is guaranteed to be amazing.

On a spur-of-the-moment whim, I texted my friend Catherine (I have three friends named Catherine!) and asked if she wanted to/was available, if she wanted to meet up and paint in Green-Wood.

She said yes!  

I would have been very happy to paint alone today, but I also haven't seen Catherine for a long time and thought it would be nice to see her.  We met while I was out painting in Union Square. I passed on the plein air virus to her.

Here is my painting, standing under the Pine Cone Tree.  It took 2 hours.

8x10 oil, and I am very happy with it.

*****

Green-Wood was stunning today.

The Pine Cone Tree.  One day I will paint the tree.

My friend Catherine.

She is 6'1, and I am 5'0, so together we have the whole vertical spectrum covered.

Juilliard Admissions, Final

Last night Daya checked her Juilliard portal… and they answered our appeal.

I wasn’t expecting that until next week.

They upped her grant by $4k.

That’s nice but still leaves the $21.k housing problem, which is required for the first year and for which there is no aid.

I couldn’t sleep.

I have been up since 4am.

I feel a little sick inside, figuring out how to do this.  It feels like everything we have been through has just set us up to go SPLAT against a huge wall.

I told Daya she needed to email the admissions person (who is lovely btw) and find out if she can get an exemption to live at home.

She sent that email.

This morning he wrote back…. And said after our visit last monday he took the liberty of submitting the housing exemption form for us….. AND AS OF LATE YESTERDAY IT WAS APPROVED!!!!

So, we do still have about a 13k gap- Daya will have to take out loans, we are waiting for results on a couple of scholarships.  I will have to cover the rest but it is do-able!!!!!

We are now in the clear for Juilliard.

It is happening and we have officially accepted and paid the deposit.

They gave her 40k recurring each year and she has to live at home.

I know living at home is a real bummer, she wants that dorm experience so much, I also want it for her but,…… finances.

Making sacrifices is just part of adult life.

The goal was to get her to Juilliard and it happened.

Daya is actually going to Juilliard and it isn’t going to be too financially painful.

It is a HUGE thing, an impossible thing, and here it is.

I am still processing it…. This whole process has been incredibly intense and stressful.

The release of it has not hit me yet.

It has been a l o n g stretch of stress, laying awake at night worrying about money, not knowing what is going to happen… the limbo…

College is an awful process.

And now we are done and it is finalized.

I’m trying to feel the relief but I’m still so wound up inside.

Prom Dress!!

Daya is in the Big Brothers Big Sisters program, and they had a prom dress event for their seniors to go and choose from a selection of prom attire… designer stuff… and it was all free!

Daya did find a dress.  They also gave her undies and a clutch and jewelry.

I was not there with her, but when I sawt he dress……. Totally unexpected waterworks!! Prom!!’

She’s so magical and amazing.

And she’s gonna wear her Doc Maartens with the dress, which—- f you can see them at all, I actually think will look fantastic!

I have decided……

…. That I am going to figure out how to paint from a kayak this season.

it is going to happen.

I cannot use oils, I don;’t think the setup would work at all, and pastels should not go anywhere near water.

But watercolor could work!

I got a small Winsor Newton set…. And I’m going to figure out a kayak setup.

Birthday Sushi and oil paint

Today is Kedrin’s birthday, and I went to Brooklyn to help her celebrate.

Kedrin likes to make sushi on her birthday.

Like, a LOT of sushi.

It’s her thing.

She is aware it is ridiculous.

She sent me home with leftover fish.

We also painted the cherry tree in the back.

The cat, KitKat, wanted to help but was not allowed.

Bree did help.

8x10 oil

Bob and Dr Leo Marvin

Sharon brought be a baguette from Paris as a thank you….. because that’s what I asked for.

It was SO GOOD.

They have a weird …. Thing…. In their kitchen, and I had to ask what the heck is this thing and what is its function?

Sharon said that is Bob, and his job is to pull out the oven rack.

She got me one, too.

Since hers is named Bob, i named mine Dr Leo Marvin.

CPR at the Boathouse

Kayak season is fast-approaching, and the boathouse offers free CPR certification training.

I went, because my certification is expired.

It was a great class.

The CPR song is no longer Stayin’ Alive, it is Another One Bites the Dust.

Also, mouth-to-mouth is very de-emphasized these days, which is good because i won’t ever do it… and neither will the instructor, not even for his wife. He basically said don’t ever do it.

I learned new things that I hadn’t learned in previous classes.

This plaque is in a tiny park on Canal St…. 1805, cool!!

Dream Team

Well here is a blast from the past—- a former co-worker from back in my TD Waterhouse days posted this picture of our team.

I was pregnant with Daya here, just barely… I think this picture is from June 2005.

Our manager is the blond lady on the right…. She keeps this picture framed in her apartment.  We were her Dream Team.

We were pretty awesome.

Maybe USC is not a PITA after all

After I called and waited on hold etc….. the financial aid came thru.

They gave her a lot of money, more than Juilliard actually.

Also they keep sending us ,mail, including a USC pennant and a hand0signed congratulations card from the other dance majors. Which is really really REALLY nice of them.

They are actually extremely NICE people there.

It has definitely been passed around a lot!!

This gives us a bargaining chip with Juilliard…. Daya is adding to the appeal….. so we will see.

This limbo is hard.

USC keeps being a PITA

Even though USC is the wrong school for Daya in all possible ways, we have still not declined and I have followed through with the financial aid process.

It’s a good thing I kept checking the portal, too- twice now they have asked for yet more documents without notifying me.

Their information collecting is incredibly invasive and thorough.

They require the FAFSA, CSS Profile, and a waiver with supporting documentation requesting to not consider a missing non-custodial parent.

Juilliard only cared about me and never asked for more information on anything.

Yesterday- already April 12-  the financial aid application was still under status of “We will begin reviewing soon”…. This is VERY late for initial offers to be in progress.

So I called them.and couldn’t get through.

The reason is the non-custodial parent waiver.

They have no timeframe for those considerations to come through.

No timeframe.

I think this is unfair to students… these situations aren’t their fault.

Anisometropia

I had an eye doctor appointment this morning.

And I finally asked if there is any way I can have cataract surgery in my right eye.

The cataract is clinically insignificant and by itself does not qualify for surgery.

HOWEVER I told my doctor that I’m struggling with the imbalance and - I don’t know how else to say this- my head feels funny all the time.  Not pain and not headaches… my head feels funny from the imbalance.

I think I have written about it here before.

This started immediately after my first cataract surgery.

My doctor said that reason alone qualifies me to have it done.

It’s something called Anisometropia, which is when there is a severe difference in the vision between 2 eyes.

It is a recognized thing by insurance companies,

Which means I now medically qualify for cataract surgery in the right eye even though the cataract itself is not the reason.

He told my retina doctor (same office) and she said “That’s a great idea!”

It’s not an urgent thing, and probably not something they would have suggested if I didn’t ask for it, but I qualify, thank goodness.

The schedule is the same as 2019!

I have to be out of my right contact for all of July.

Actually slightly sooner, right after Daya’s high school graduation.

It shouldn’t be so bad this time…. My left eye is fine and the right is moral support.

I should be able to still do pretty much everything i normally would do.  If my head doesn't feel too wonky I might even be able to paint.

My surgery is scheduled for Aug 8th.

I need to get it done before Daya turns 18, hopefully because of hospital financial aid, in case it makes a difference.

Now my eyes will look the same as far as light reflections go… right now they look noticeably different.  I have a larger light reflection in the left eye, the difference makes me look funny.

So that’s what I’m doing again this summer… having another eye surgery.

I am extremely happy about it.

Back at Juilliard

Today there was a class observation/tour for accepted students, and there were three of us including me.

We got to watch parts of 2 ballet classes, one Graham class, and a contemporary class.

Then they gave us lunch vouchers for the cafeteria and the director of admissions led us on a tour.

The classes were beautiful but what was really important was asking questions- especially because it was just me, Daya, and one other accepted student.

The admissions director spoke as freely as he could about certain issues, mainly the lack of financial aid for the housing.

It is a huge problem.

For many people.

Basically the staff and faculty are VERY well aware of the issue but cannot do anything about it.

It's a problem.

My appeal is still not decided, and won't be until the end of the month.

But basically I am feeling extremely grim about the housing.

If they won't give aid for it the only other thing I can do is try and get them to waive the first year requirement.

There is precedent for that but it doesn't always work.

If I have to pay that housing it will literally wipe me out, and I already don't have enough in savings.

And I will still have to pick up costs for the next three years- but not housing.

In all honesty, Juilliard is a bizarre mix of feeling really elated and completely despondent.

I am actually and very literally terrified, I had no idea there is no aid for housing.

LaGuardia from the Juilliard cafeteria

This shirt is pretty hilarious.

House Sitting

I am cat-and guinea pig sitting for my friend over Spring break while she is in Paris.

Basically, I go over there in the evenings, feed the cats, sleep, wake up, feed the cats, make a guinea pig salad, then commute home to go to work.

And then feed MY cats.

This weekend I have felt so laazy.

I'm stressing badly about Juilliard and finances, enough that it is keeping me up at night.

Nala is drinking the water I boiled last night for my tea.

Apparently her own water dish is inferior.

Oreo with a leafy treat. :)

Easter

I did literally nothing except stay home and play Skyrim.

Because I need to detach and zone out.

I have done literally nothing all weekend.

I'm not sleeping well.

But I did, of course, do an Easter basket for Daya, complete with a couple of money eggs.

I'm not sure if she cares or not but I enjoyed doing it for her.

Don’t buy zucchinis on a Wednesday

Wednesdays are Daya’s “early” evenings, meaning she only has dance til 6pm.

She texted me saying she was going to pick up some zucchinis on the way home.

She did this last Wednesday as well, and ended up being caught in some really terrible train messed-up-ness and she got home really late.

She got home even later.

Apparently on the train 4 stops from home- she was in the back car- there was a group of middle school kids and one of them was train surfing on the outside of the train on the back.

They were carrying on and basically being loud assholes.

And then their friend fell off the back of the train and apparently hurt his leg.

Then the kids were freaking out, absolutely SHOCKED that their friend actually got hurt doing something life-or-death dangerous.

Fucking idiots.

The train stopped in the station.

The subway surfer kid walked down the tracks back to the previous stop, apparently.

I think there might have been more than one riding the outside of the train, because Daya was talking to them and being nice and she said she gave them some bandaids.

(Daya always has bandaids for her feet.)

And then…… the kids didn’t want to be around when the cops showed up, so they bolted AND LEFT the 10 year old little brother of the kid who walked backwards ALONE.

10 years old and he didn’t know his address or his parents’ phone number.

I CANOT EVEN, that is an epic parenting failure.

Daya knew my phone number as soon as she knew what numbers were, and actually i remember being pre-k and being made to memorize my childhood phone number. (426-5225, we didn’t have to dial area codes back then)

Daya is very smart so with the help of her phone and google maps she found the boy’s address, and turned the rest over to the police.  I’m really ghlad she was there to help and I just can’t believe his friends just ditched him.

But she still had to get home and the trains were halted… because of the surfers.

She ended up having to walk several blocks to the bus, wait for the bus, and get the bus home.

She said it’s because she got zucchinis on a Wednesday, because major screw-ups happened last week too after zucchinis.

I fully agree with this, and now consider it a bad idea to buy zucchinis on a wednesday on the way home.

Appeal

For some reason I will never understand, the financial aid from Juilliard is only covering the tuition, and even then with the current estimate Daya and I will both ahve to take out loans.

I will never understand how they come up with these numbers and why they don’t factor in the housing.

So I have filed an appeal.

I wrote what I think is a pretty strong letter.

Now we wait… again.

Another church interior painting

Tonight was the LaGuardia choral concert at The Riverside Church.

Oh man it was good.

I brought pastels, a drawing board, and a small booklight and painted while listening to the beautiful singing.

Someone thought I was a student doing homework!

The concert was an hour and a half- that's not a long time to work, especially for this complexity.

My St Pat's cathedral paintings took on average 4 hours... I can't believe I knocked this out in an hour and a half...

For the time I had with it, I'm very pleased.

9x12 pastel on mi tientes.