Wednesday

Drusilla sent me a very nice gift!!!
Thanks Dru, you are always so kind to me.

I want to throw this plastic bin out but I cannot because it is always occupied by a cat.

Here is the 1 hour pose from drawing tonight.
It was Cabaret night.
Pastel on an old piece of recycled Richeson.

Isis is sleeping on my easel chair.

*******
I am feeling delicately better but still not 100%. It's been a long time since I really went down a hole like that. It's just a combination of so many things- so much recent change, this whole year, parenting, growing up changes, school delayed again,  Daya said some really mean things to me which hurt a lot, I'm on my cycle, it's just a lot and it all hit me hard.

It's not good and there are some thoughts I need to change.
I know I have some work to do and I have split energy.

Also I haven't seen anyone in-person since I went to Jackie's a week and a half ago.
I think (?) I went to the store on Monday (?) but I haven't left my apartment much lately.
I am very isolated and it's not good.

I have found a therapist who is taking new patients and insurance, I have an appointment booked for next week so we'll see how that goes.

I also found a few online resources but the one I really want has a waiting list so I will wait.

Sometimes everything just seems so hard, too hard, and hopeless so why bother but I have to.

******
Daya left yesterday late afternoon to go see her friend and I think I needed today to just be alone and re-stabilize myself. I'm getting there.  I am back on a morning meditation, longer than I was able to do when I went into the office.

She will be home tomorrow after her acupuncture appointment and I'm glad she is coming home.