Mirrors

So, I had something happen to me that does happen to artists now and then.
I've listened to some similar stories through the years so I know this is a thing that happens, and it's just life sometimes.

Sometimes we do a portrait of someone and they hate it. This has just happened to me.
And this can be jarring because it was done in a space of wonderful experience.  And also because I see so much beauty in this person, but she cannot see it in herself.  She struggles with extreme negativity in general. And yet I think she is absolutely amazing.

So actually the painting really is fine, but she is seeing herself in it ..... the way she sees herself. I guess on one hand that makes the painting very successful.   On the other hand it feels like artistic failure.

I always want my paintings to bring joy, and I would be wrong to say my friend's reaction doesn't sting a little bit. But only a little, because I understand it, and it will pass.  I don't take it personally, and I know it isn't the painting itself, either.  I know it is 100% about how my friend sees herself, even though I see her very differently.  It could have been any painting. It isn't about me.

Because this is someone I have known for a long time and I care about, I'm not going to post the sketch here and it is no longer on Facebook.  Because I want her to feel comfortable.  I'm sorry she didn't like it, I'm sorry it didn't bring joy, I'm sorry she can't see the beauty others see in her.

Sometimes it's good to find similar stories to relate to.  Here's the one about the hated Winston Churchill portrait.  But honestly, that one really is a terrible portrait!