And also why my eyes are much worse than my sister's eyes, which are also not great but not nearly as bad as mine.
I know my mother smoked a lot when I was little, and it wasn't a new habit. It it is also likely she smoked more during her second pregnancy (me) than her first.
*****Looking up the link between smoking during pregnancy and the effects on vision returns a TON of research directly linking my specific eye issues (and others) with cigarettes. Being born cross-eyed (strabismus), high refraction index (bad nearsightedness), abnormal blood vessels (yes) retinal issues (thank goodness not currently but my left one detached when I was a kid), I have ocular hypertension too from all of it because pretty much my eyes didn't develop properly due to the cigarettes and everything is wonky.
I always wondered why, always suspected some factor about my mother's pregnancies, and there it is.
Though I don't come from tall people I am a good 2" shorter than the next shortest person and that's almost certainly from the cigarettes too.
Being short I don't mind..... but my eyes.... it really has been and continues to be a big struggle and has massively affected my life in many ways.
Oh, I know it could be worse... AIDS, crack, heroin, fetal alcohol syndrome..... but it still really stinks. Especially because it's bad enough that I can't drive.
*****
I think my mother knew, and maybe the cigarettes were something she hid from everyone. While I was growing up she was constantly bringing up how she did everything right and perfect when she was pregnant. In hindsight, and knowing her inability to accept responsibility for anyhing, of course she would want to constantly proclaim her innocence and make sure someone else got “blamed”. She always tried to say it was my father’s fault because his mother had glaucoma in old age. He rejected that.
Oh, I know it could be worse... AIDS, crack, heroin, fetal alcohol syndrome..... but it still really stinks. Especially because it's bad enough that I can't drive.
*****
I think my mother knew, and maybe the cigarettes were something she hid from everyone. While I was growing up she was constantly bringing up how she did everything right and perfect when she was pregnant. In hindsight, and knowing her inability to accept responsibility for anyhing, of course she would want to constantly proclaim her innocence and make sure someone else got “blamed”. She always tried to say it was my father’s fault because his mother had glaucoma in old age. He rejected that.
Bummer. Aren't you glad you don't smoke!
ReplyDeleteEveryone in my family smokes except me and my husband. My sister is now having issues that cigarettes either cause or makes worse. She can't quit. Doesn't want to. I have never understood that habit.
ReplyDelete