#6 and #7

I got 2 more paintings done today. 7 total is a respectable number and more than I thought I would end up doing. It helped that I knew exactly where i wanted to go, and also that I did both paintings at the same spot and I didn't have to reset the palette.

8x10 oil, 2 hours

I was waiting for the view behind me to clear up and not be so grey and overcast, but that never really happened.  Instead, it got really windy and downright cold. The cold was ok but the wind was really a torment, and i got this done as fast as I could and was glad to head home.

8x10 oil, hour and a half-ish

Yet one more reason to always carry tape with you everywhere is to mark the entrance back into the woods.There are trails all through the woods but none (that I have found) lead directly onto the road that runs along the reservoir. My spot today was a part of the road that goes over the reservoir- it’s really pretty- but it is far away from where I came out of the woods and there don’t seem to be any trails cutting through.  And cutting through the woods on this side is not a great idea, as I learned yesterday. It’s actually impossible, as i learned. And I really tried.

Since I have already done a lot of woods exploring and i wanted to get back home relatively quickly (it’s still an hour hike back) I just taped a tree and cut through the woods back to the trail exactly where I exited.  It worked. Tape is wondrous stuff.

#5

I only did one painting today, but I hiked 7.2 miles….. with a 23 lb pack.

The exercise feels good but I’m tired.

This painting took exactly 2 hours, 8x10 oil.

I took a lot of pictures, it was so pretty out but right now i’m just too tired to post them.

There is a spot I want to go back to tomorrow, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to time-wise.  Cathy comes home tomorrow and it will depend on what time she returns.

#4

I went out again and did another painting.

The pricker plants in the woods are pretty cool looking, except when you run into them.

Hour and a half, 6x8 oil

#3

I hiked to the reservoir.  It’s about an hour hike through the woods to get there, and another hour back.  But it goes by pretty fast.

Interestingly, after all my thoughts about my website and FASO yesterday, I got a text from Jonathan, who is working with me on the FASO stuff. Very interesting (and good) timing to hear from him today, to say the least! We’ll touch base next week when I am back in NYC.

I finished my medieval history book, it was wonderful.

Many bugs committed suicide during this painting. It’s their own fault. I do everything I can to be repulsive to them.

And wonderfully, I saw exactly zero people.  I really love being alone.

This is a 6x12 panel, which is a fun size to paint on, and also does not fit in my box. I taped it to my palette and just carried it home. Oil of course, 2 1/2 hours

Painting #2

I got a late start today but still managed a 3 hour painting in the woods.

The woods here are in general nice and quiet and no one is around- EXCEPT near the end of my painting a whole dang family with like 3 loud kids decided to hang out literally right by me. And they STAYED.

Yes it was annoying.  Huge whole big woods and they have to come right where i was. Serious bummer.

The mom came over after the second time I glared at them and asked if they were bothering me.  I was honest and said yes, you’re really loud and it’s killing my vibe.  She said she has never seen anyone in the  woods here before.  There aren’t a lot of people but even I, who don’t live here, see people now and then.  It’s not like it never happens.

She was cool about it, said she was sorry, and said they would go in about 5 minutes. I said I was sorry for being grumpy and I thanked her for being nice about it.

I do not want to see people in the woods. I don’t want to see anyone. I like being alone here, it’s so nice.

While I was painting I listened to my current audio book, which is all about life in medieval England in the 1300s. One chapter talked about fields being left fallow and how that was managed.

This book is wonderful and geeky and as much as I love medieval things, I’m glad to not be living in that era.

If I get 5 paintings done while I am here I will be happy. I’m not going to knock out 8 like last time.

(I don’t think.) I only have 3 8x10 panels left, 2 6x8s and a 6x12 I threw in last-minute.  I’m saving that one for the reservoir tomorrow, maybe.

Here is painting #2, 3 hours, 8x10 oil

I like this tree stump.

Fallow

I crashed last night.

After I fed everyone and just did the essentials, I crashed… around 10pm.

And I slept for 10 hours, probably would have slept longer except the birds woke me up.

So I have some work this morning, like cleaning the rats which I meant to do last night but I was just DONE.

Anyhow, I pulled a flower card this morning and got this:

Isnt that illustration gorgeous?

Ok, here’s the next page…..

Wow, I (hope?) that’s relevant. Going fallow. That might be what I am feeling, or it also might be stress.

Or both. I’m really good at downtime and doing nothing. So that’s not the right context.  Lee Harris mentioned something similar to this in his April energy update, that sometimes when we are preparing for something we go a bit dormant. I hope that’s what is happening, that would be… worthwhile, at least.

I’m stressed about my website.

In January I signed up for a year with FASO and my initial experience with them hasn’t been good, but I need to figure them out. I don’t know if I really don’t like their service or if I need to shift my perspective.

I suspect it is a little of both. 

And website stuff is… just really crappy to deal with, to be honest. I don’t know if I want to keep my current site or do a complete switch. I just don’t know, and the FASO system is built for internet-website-illiterate people who don’t even know what CSS is.  I’m NOT a web developer and don’t want to be but I do need a more robust platform.  So I have to figure out what I can/will use from them and what I won’t.  This will take time, focus, and I haven’t had it.

So there’s that.  It is hanging over me.

The other thing - and this is my blog where I sort myself out, I’m NOT looking for advice- is - oh man my new plant book (pictured above) is pretty. And it is reminding me that I have done nothing artistically significant at all with getting my work out there, I have no “out-in-the-world” artistic accomplishments.

And I’m feeling a bit bummed about that. Like, what is the point of all of this? 

I have done a whole bunch of stuff that is still nothing.

It’s true that my life hasn’t been set up for it until possibly now but I’m feeling crappy about it.

I do think I can get Topiary Cats out there, and prints are on my list this year for sure- and I’m going back to Janet’s on May 7th and we’re going to photograph them properly- so that’s good and on-track with my goals.

But I’m feeling extremely unaccomplished and artistically crappy in general.

Maybe that, plus my website stress and feeling completely overwhelmed at all the stuff I need to start learning in order to expand my art has got me in this stressed out inner-tightness that is very unpleasant and is getting in the way of painting.

Sometimes being an artist really sucks.

And now it is much later in the morning than I intended before starting out, and I need to clean rats, feed cats, and wash brushes before I head out to paint in the woods.

Painting #1 in CT

I’m here at Cathy’s.  Her sister Patty left this afternoon with the dogs and handed over the house, 7 cats, and 4 rats.

After settling in, there was still enough daylight left to do a quick painting.  I haven’t plein aired since…….??? Did i go out at all in March? I can’t remember.  Anyhow it has been too long and I’m rusty and also still feeling that weird feeling that I can’t place.

But I went out, I showed up.

This is the “hey at least I showed up” painting.  It isn’t very good, I did have to put liquin in it because i need it to dry, and the paint was a little looser than I prefer.

It took an hour and a half, i ran out of daylight and also was so tired, 8x10 oil

I am really tired of being in this weird painting funk, I don’t even know how to describe it, it just feels like I’m out of fuel or something.

The OMG Monday

I’m going to Cathy’s.

Tomorrow.

For five nights.

I have not done- anything- to prepare except take Daya to Costco so she has food.

Also, today is a work day but I got most of everything done by noon.

I made a list, because nothing is straight in my head.

“Make a list” was the first thing that went on my list.

(It feels good to check things off)

My train leaves from Penn tomorrow at 11, so I do have some time in the morning to pack.

But I need to do laundry. I want to come home to everything nice and clean, including my bed, although I’m sure it will be covered with cat fur.

Also on my list is going to Target. I want to do an Easter basket for Daya this year.

Anyone who thinks they are too old for an easter basket needs to grow up and realize you are never too old!

I really appreciate that I can leave Daya for 5 nights and she will take care of the cats, water my plants, and in general be awesome, trustworthy and responsible. So I did an Easter basket this year and I think she really likes it.

She is just like me in that she really goes for the white chocolate, so I made sure to put a lot of that in.

And there are 2 money eggs, each with $10.

Also, we are both in general really watching our food and being healthy

I got way more candy than would ever go in an easter basket, and I told her I will be sending her easter candy in July while she is in Chicago.  And I will, too.

A few weeks ago when I met Daya’s NJ friend and we were all talking, the topic of food prep came up and that i wish Daya would let me help her and do more food prep for her. And I do like to help her with that, but she mostly wants to do it on her own. Daya said “I like to control my food.” And it occurred to me that I am EXACTLY the same way. And I have been like that for so long I didn't even realize it anymore.

I mean, it even bugged me back when I was married and my ex would do food prep for me when I went to work but it often wasn’t the way I wanted it.  And I did say something to him but he just ignored me. 

And truthfully, if you are living with others and you eat together, you do lose control of your food prep, especially if someone else is preparing it. So I realized my kid is just like me after all.

I did tell Daya this and that I really understand it, and if she wants me to help with food prep I will follow her instructions exactly and respect it, because I’m the same way.

Even what Daya eats is…. Well, I see my influence there.

I do not think she realizes how incredibly fortunate she is to be in a household where 1) she can do her own prep and 2) we are set up for healthy eating. And I don’t even question the things she wants or likes, or I have introduced them to her.  (She used to think my nori snacks (the seaweed sheets) were gross now she buys 2 huge packs at a time at costco,) My kid eats really well in general and makes the best smoothies. Left to her own devices, she has really good eating habits which is awesome at such a young age.  But I went veg when I was 16 so I had to learn it, too.

Anyhow, back to the present, I’m glad I don’t need eggs because the price skyrocketed.

I know there is a supply issue right now but my shitty (you cannot imagine how shitty my neighborhood grocery is if you are used to those huge nice shiny suburban ones) store now priced 18 eggs at… $7.89.

And that 1 dozen is …$4.89.

HELL NO. I love eggs but …not for those prices.

I get 5 dozen at costco for $8.

Grey Sunday in Brooklyn

April really is the worst weather for painting. Not the cold of December-January.
April is the worst month.

I was not sure what to do with myself today, and there was no rain in the forecast so I figured I should go out and paint. The cherry blossoms are just starting to bloom so I went to Brooklyn to see what I could find.

The weather was not nice.  It just was not nice out.  I was dressed ok to paint but even with the not-nice weather, the garden was pretty crowded. And of course it did start to rain.

The rain smelled very good- so instead of painting i wandered around for a little while and then I adopted two plants from the shop.

Derwent Stalking, Ended

The Unruly Chives mess caused me a bit of a stubby pencil problem.... I need a refill on one of my Derwent Coloursoft pencils.  I have had my 72 tin FOREVER and I rarely use it but I have been lately.
(I believe in having all the art supplies.)

I went over to Blick to pick up a few open stock pencils... and they have all things Derwent EXCEPT Coloursofts. What a bummer.  So I had to do an online order and.... well I went ahead and ordered my Derwent Shade and Tone set that I have been stalking.  Its in-stock at Blick online.

So I can stop stalking it now.
Fingers crossed Blick actually has it and isn't just saying they do.

Unruly Chives

I have been feeling weird lately, I don't know why.  Can't figure it out. I don't know if it's me or just the energy of the world in general but I feel strange, fatigued, and uninspired. There's nothing wrong or anything concerning going on, I just feel really weird and blah. And I don't feel like painting.

I'm sure this funky haze will pass eventually.  I decided to just let it be and be where I am and not worry about it, even though it has been going on for several weeks now. 

But in the absence of painting- both plein air and studio work, I decided to just do some sketchbook work instead.  Small pages that don't require a lot of time, thinking, or commitment but still keep me doing something.  Normally I don't show sketchbook work, but today, wow I messed up and I should have known better and I'm very annoyed with myself.

I started a new book and all I'm doing in it are little plant paintings in watercolor and colored pencil.  Just something small and nice to do. And a couple of days ago I did a little drawing of my crazy chive plant.  I called it Unruly Chives.

Today I felt like taking out my oil pastels and I did a page facing my Unruly Chives, which was a huge mistake.  How could I forget that oil pastels- if you go all the way to the edges of the page- mess everything else up on other pages?

It messed up my (very nice) page of Eastshade Bloomsac, and I was Not Happy abut that.  I salvaged it as best as I could.  I'll probably end up re-doing it on another page. 

I will have to re-do this page. :(

The new unruly chives also messed up the other unruly chives so I just have to leave it and say that's what happens when something is unruly. I want this book to be nice and neat so it bugs me.

Seriously though, how could I forget that about oil pastel?

It's ok as long as it is taped off... as it, like chives, is definitely unruly.

The Very Long Wednesday

Daya needs government ID since she will be flying to and back from Chicago by herself this summer.
So that means going to the DMV. I can't believe she's old enough already to be going to the DMV!  She could get her learners permit but we really don't have time to get her into driving lessons (bc dance). So I got her a non-driver ID which she can have for 8 years and we don't have to rush the driving thing.

It's a LOT faster to get a non-river ID! We were in and out of the DMV in a half hour!

Daya wants a new bank account with a debit card so we tried to do that, too, but we have to wait until she gets her ID in the mail. Then we went to her dr for all the medical forms for her working papers and also her summer dance intensive.

I did get the estimate for Isis.... ugh...
Branwen says it looks good, minus the CBC which we just did yesterday.
So they are taking that off.

*********
My friend Sharon asked if I want to go see The little Prince on Broadway with her tonight.  It is still in previews and someone at her job gets free tickets.  So we went.

It was...... well, I didn't really know what to think until the second act.
Once I figured it out I liked it a lot, but I had to adjust my perspective.  I guess that's in-keeping with The Little Prince, come to think of it.

When you think Broadway, you think singing, musical theater, and a play.

There was almost no singing in this show and it most certainly was not a play.
It was all dance. With a narrator.

The dancers were superb.  There was also a lot of aerial acrobatics which was pretty incredible.  Visually it was really beautiful, stunning actually.  But it was more along the lines of going to the ballet than going to see a broadway show. Also, I forgot most of the first half of the book after the sheep drawing, so it was a bit harder to follow.

The second act was all about being on Earth and I remembered almost all of it from the book and that honestly made it more enjoyable.  Sharon's recollection of the book was a lot hazier than mine and she was totally lost.

So, for The Little Prince, if you have in your mind that you are going to see dance theater, you'll love it.  If you are looking for musical theater or a play, you'll hate it. If you remember the book (and like the book), you'll love it.  If you never read the book or forgot it, you won't get it at all.  The people right in front of me left during intermission, which was fine with me because I got a better view!

Isis at the Vet

Isis has been having coughing fits.  It's been going on for years.  Some days seem worse than others, but I haven't really been worried about it. She's fine otherwise.

But I thought I should take her in.  She hasn't been to the vet for a couple of years and I think it really is time to check out the coughing fits.

Even though Isis could for reals win an award for Friendliest Cat in the World, she's beyond evil at the vet.   I sedated her, clipped her claws in advance, and she already has no fangs (the vet staff was relived when that happened), so she can't really do any damage.

So anyhow I took her in and it cost me $570 for exam, bloodwork,  and vaccination updates.  Most of that is bloodwork, I don't know why it is so expensive!  To find out what is causing the cough, the vet wants to do a tracheal wash.  They put her under mild sedation but she is still awake, stick a tiny tube down her throat, and make her cough with saline.  Then they collect samples of lung fluid she coughed up and test it.  Plus 2 chest xrays.

I'm going to do it.

Also, apparently Isis gained THREE POUNDS over the last 2 years since I have been working from home! Oh man.  My cat has covid weight! 3 lbs is way too much though- she's almost 15 lbs now!

Isis needs to go an a diet. She's really not going to like that.
Furball does everything Isis does, so she got FAT too!

Pebbles will not gain weight but I wish she would.