topiary cats

topiary cats

Friday, June 19, 2015

Sledgehammer

If you have to ask someone outright to be gentle and compassionate about something they don't understand or relate to, chances are that you will be unsuccessful.  Which is why you had to ask for compassion in the first place. But even then- ask and ye shall not receive. Do not expect it.

We all have our Deep Issues. None of us is perfect. I have some Deep Issues and I am not perfect.

But I try. I really do.  For the most part, I fail at life. I fail at pretty much all aspects of life, all the time. Even if I am really trying my best just to get through. Things are not always what they seem. It is not necessary to personally relate to something, or even understand it, to have compassion. You do not know what someone else is going through. What they have been through.

And when one of your nearest and dearest throws a sledgehammer at your soft spots- at what they KNOW are your soft spots, it is a crushing experience.  Especially when it is because they have been trusted, and they overstepped boundaries of their own accord without consent.

Being gentle and compassionate with someone is not the equivalent to sugar-coating something. Hearts are delicate and sometimes they need to be handled carefully. This is not something people understand, for the most part and it makes me want to stay far, far away from people in general.

The road to hell is paved with good intentions. You may have absolutely no idea what you are triggering in someone else, and how bad it can be.

Loving people, letting people close, requires vulnerability; it gives people the power to hurt or heal us. Please use that power wisely and responsibly.

Perhaps one of my lessons in being human, in evolving, is maintaining the ability to be compassionate when there is none available for me, especially when I need it.

3 comments:

  1. It's often the people who are closest to us and know us best that can hurt us the most...

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  2. That is why I tend to hide (or try to hide) most of my vulnerabilities, so many people love to use them against you :(

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  3. Don't beat up yourself. It is always those that we feel close to that can hurt us easily. Hang in there.

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