topiary cats

topiary cats

Friday, December 19, 2014

Death Energy

It sounds scary and in general it IS scary but life and death are inseparably intertwined.  Death is not just about someone crossing over out of this physical life.

Bringing Death Energy into outdated situations, mindsets, and Life Experiences is sometimes necessary.  Especially if we can do it consciously.  Because Death of some sort must---absolutely MUST happen in order to move on.

This means Change and that is Scary.  Fear is not my problem though.  I do have courage on my side.  It's the sadness that gets me every time.

I discovered that I have been going through another death cycle.  It really, truly sucks but it is also really, truly ok.  Now, at least.  I wasn't ok for a while there.  While I really don't understand all the workings of it, that's what happened and it is actually a good thing.  It really could have gone one of two ways, one surely better than the other, but the energy shift is the same.

The Enough is Enough place I reached where something just burned out, while unpleasant, had to happen.  I stopped at that place for a little while because I didn't know where to go.  I didn't know how to go.  I didn't know what was going on.  It was a dark, deeply hopeless place.  I believe this is what my Guides were trying to tell me with the story of Job. Taking it symbolically as a Journey.  Reaching that place of utter hopeless despair, losing faith- reconnecting with it- and positive energy comes back.  And my energy has shifted.

I truly do see myself as strong.  And my turning point was when I chose to reclaim and use my personal power rather than staying stuck.  Because my personal power is something I am simply not willing to relinquish.

I have officially put in a request for re-enrollment in the School of Life on Earth- but with different lessons.  Very specific ones.  And I know why, too.  So now I wait.  I still feel a little scared that I will get back to the same place again but I really do feel different internally.  The choice of where to go is mine but what I am not going to worry about is sorting out the details. That is not handled by me.  Thank goodness.

This is also very good timing as we are in the season of death and the Birth of Light is coming up on the Solstice next week.  So, it's a powerful time for birthing new energy.

Death Therapy

And the really stupid thing about this is that I still feel sad!  It is something that is just there, constantly, a Presence.  I truly don't know why it won't go away.  It is something I seem to have no control over.  It isn't overpowering or interfering.  I don't do anything about it, or even really pay attention to it except to be aware that it is still there.  Hopefully it will just burn out in time.

(Tarot card image is from the Golden Tarot by Kat Black)

1 comment:

  1. This sadness could have many reasons. One of them, this time of year, may just be physical. I fight it every year as the days are too short and the lights too long, I get depressed. It's a physical reaction to lack of light and Vitamin D.

    My doctor prescribed Vitamin D replenishment the first year I lived here and then got me on a maintenance supplement. So there is one thing it might be, the thing to do is get a blood test to see if you have a deficiency. It won't help unless there really is a deficiency.

    Other reasons could be natural grief at losing something or someone. Change sometimes hurts. Sometimes multiple reasons collide. It sounds as though you're coming to a good place with empowerment though. Keep at it!


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