FLIP: Spike

Once every several years or so I get a short-lived but intense urge to use watercolor.

I always start out well enough, nice and light and transparent- and then I muck the whole thing up.  This got mucked up mostly because I changed my mind about the colors, and you can't really do that with watercolor without having to start over.

But then Carey moved and we took a Flip break and during that time my watercolor urge passed. I didn't worry too much about the mucky state of the painting because that's why I have clear gesso, which is lovely and toothy under pastels.

Uni-Shroom

5x7 watercolor and pastel (mungyo semi-hards)

on watercolor paper (strathmore for the paper geeks)

My Pet Central Park Raccoon

I went up to the reservoir yesterday to paint some clouds.
They would not stay still, not at all so I had to settle on a composition and just kind of fudge it.  The sky went from all grey overcast to clear.

8x10 pastel on black richeson sanded paper

There is a running track around the reservoir where the Manhattan after-work crowd goes to run, jog, walk, whatever.  I have a spot up there which is on the running track but tucked away next to the gatehouse building at the top, so I am not in anyone's way.

People were overwhelmingly friendly- many people either stopped to say hi and say something nice about the painting, or they yelled out something nice as they ran by.  Even when my painting went through a *really* ugly stage.

I was so involved in my painting I didn't notice the raccoon who kept coming over to sit by my feet- on the running track.  Four people stopped to tell me he was there, which scared him off.  I finally saw him when he came back again, and he was big and fluffy and cute.

Here he is, running away- I couldn't get any other pictures of him.

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Everyone was out yesterday.  The raccoon, dogs, and horses.

                     

                               

                   

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Sky pics

                   

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I thought the raccoon thing was cool because I started reading a book on St Francis yesterday, and this arrived in the mail:

Shifting

It is true that I haven't been blogging as much lately and I'm also not productive at the easel. Not lately.

Carey has been in a long moving process so our weekly FLIPs have been paused, and will hopefully resume soon.  I am planning to go out painting after work tomorrow.

Throughout this whole year I am noticing a gradual shift, some of it natural and some of it unwanted.  I will be 40 this year and I feel a transition happening. This is a natural part of life.  What I don't like is my over-sensitivity to anxiety which seems to be a new thing.

Unwanted noise in my home is my kryptonite.
It really, really throws me off, even anticipation of it.
Even when all is well..... that's a bit crazy isn't it. Silly, even.

I am starting to become concerned more than I ever have been about the years to come- basic stuff, like living situation.  There is no problem with where I am now.  Actually, it is a very good situation. But I worry about long-term maintenance. And worry is a huge misuse of imagination.

The thing about all of this is that I need to re-align to all the things I have learned up to this point in my life.  All of it is just fear.

Why is it, even armed with awareness and the knowledge of how to connect, that it is difficult to stay connected to a place of Source? With the knowing that everything is being handled?

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Caroline Myss said that one of the universal experiences of growing spiritually is having gone through time alone, sometimes a lot of it. I have written about that before- but I still have thoughts around it that I need to change when I feel sad. So instead of thoughts around having been alone, I am thinking instead "I have not been alone; I have just spent a lot more time with god,' which is true.

I am not sad that my mother isn't in my life,
No one knows where my sister is, as far as I am aware no one has heard from her for years and I am at peace with that, too.

But I do get sad about my father sometimes.
The situation won't change so I need to rearrange myself to be in peace.
The truth is that I have managed just fine without his presence or assistance.
I do not actually need it.
Would it have been nice to have that relationship, assuming it is a positive one? Yes.  However, he is his own father. I have to release it in peace.

What I want to say about this is that it is a process and a practice. A practice that needs to be- well, practiced.

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Living in a state of anxiety is not living in god-realized consciousness.
It shouldn't be challenging but it is, which means I need to practice.

I AM THAT I AM is the greatest spiritual truth/secret/teaching.
It is the most powerful thing in existence.
Conscious alignment requires constant diligence and daily practice.

I might need to implement a morning and evening practice, because I need to maintain conscious alignment.

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I need to remember that I have been on this Path consciously from the start- since I was a small child. I need to remember that I have always been taken care of.
Perhaps somewhat unconventionally, but it is true.
Two people have told me on two separate unconnected occasions that I have divine protection- which is good because I have needed it.
I need to release the how and just know all is and will be well.

I need to remember that because I have been walking a Path of conscious alignment for my whole life, this will continue and the way will unfold in a positive benevolent way.

It is practice.

T-shirt Womb

When Daya performed at Barclays Center they gave out t-shirts. 

One size: HUGE!

She wears hers and probably mine too (i dont know which is mine; neither i suppose) around the apartment and also as sleepwear. 

Tonight she discovered she can fit her entire self inside the t-shirt. 

She called it a womb. 

I might have to see if I can also fit inside the t-shirt.

Maybe I am not quite as flexi-bendy but we are both basically the same height so it might work.

Yes Daya still has fleece snowflake sheets on her bed because she loves them that much. For the record Jackie loves her fleece sheets so much she also uses them year-round. 

Tuesday to Tuesday

I know my blog got neglected for over a week. That's longer than usual...just haven't been able to muster up the effort.

Tuesday: Drusilla came to the city and I took a day off.  It rained all day so we drank sake and went to the museum of natural history to see the mummy exhibit, which was very good.  There was absolutely no photography allowed so of course I got some good pictures.  Only got yelled at once.

Weds-Thursday: It's that time of year for dance placement auditions for next year.  Daya is eligible to apply for a solo/duet/trio. I refuse to pay for it because 1) I can't and 2) I'm actually not willing to put extra money on top of the already significant monthly dance allotment.  Especially since Daya has now started tutoring in the neighborhood...she's really good, too, and cheaper than the college kids.  She has her first client and has already worked 5 hours. So if she does extra she has to pay for it.

Friday: Rob has a favorite restaurant in Williamsburg.  We go there a lot, which I like because they have all my favorite stuff.  It is an Asian-themed place, really beautiful inside- sushi, Thai, rice, noodles, Rob's favorite orange chicken....and we found out they shut down as of this past Sunday.  So last Friday was our last night at Hachi.  Sad.

Saturday: Daya had a HORRIBLE day. A Thunderstorm woke her up at 5:30am.  She hurt herself (she's ok) in her acro class. She had her team placement audition which she said she messed up badly. She forgot her keys and locked herself out....and I wasn't home because I was in Manhattan for a co-worker's choral concert.  So I told Daya how to climb the fire escape...she got yelled at once but finally made it and now we have both used our Break-In cards and that has to be the one and only time for both of us.

Sunday: Rob wants to get a cat and we went to see one on the Upper West Side.
We were on 92nd street. I had my cat carrier which was a cat-hair bomb (from Pebbles) and I was cleaning it out on the street...a ridiculous lady yelled at me because I was removing cat hair from the carrier "where families and children walk."  There was NO ONE on the sidewalk.  Rob really ripped into her and it was pretty hilarious. So 92nd street is a block where multi-millionaires live. Amazing old architecture, loads and loads of money.  And one building that is the projects, which is of course where the cat was. Such an intense contrast. So we went to the ASPCA (still on 92nd!) and they had no kittens.  Rob wants a kitten and he decided Manhattan cats are too messed up so he'll probably go out to Long Island.

Monday:  I have new neighbors upstairs and they like to BLAST their horrible music. It makes me insane...I get all the drums and all the bass. Have written a letter, have complained, will probably have to keep complaining because it is HORRIBLE when they do it.  I don't want to come home from work with their party pounding through my apartment.  If they want to do that they should move to the Bronx.  I get so messed up from stuff  like this....I don't want that nonsense in my home and there is no way to block it out.  It is distressing and awful.

Tuesday: Jackie and I went to dinner and had a nice time. Rob locked himself out of his apartment due to leaving his keys in Brooklyn at his job. His friend helped him get in.

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I have pictures for this post but I'll post them later, maybe.

A Bunch of Cool Tree Pictures

On Saturday the weather forecast was overcast, partially sunny and it rained all day.  But before the rain started in earnest, Rob and I went hiking on Long Island.

I loved the trees...they were twisty and cool-looking.

This log looks like an animal skull.

More cool stumps.

We found three trees that were all carved up.
Rob read the inscriptions which unfortunately released all the evil spirits, so we had to go find the Good Spirit Tree to vanquish them.

The Good Spirit Tree:

Jessica and Robertson Share Creativity

More Cool Trees.

Spring Things

Today is Friday and it is raining.  Again.
Spring is a bit of a tough time for me every year...I don't really know why, it's just how my cycles go I guess. Everything feels heavy and blah, kind of opposite of how it is supposed to feel.

Sometimes life catches up with me and I feel my circumstance of carrying everything alone to be crushing and overwhelming.  Rob asks what's wrong and I tell him, but it isn't something he can relate to.  He is present which is a wonderful thing, but there isn't really anything he can do. He has never had to worry about taking care of anyone other than himself, not even a pet.  There's nothing wrong with that, but it is a different mentality. I value his presence but it doesn't relieve the crushing weight.

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I have new neighbors upstairs and on Fridays and weekends they like to BLAST their music so I get all the drums and all the bass.

I can't take it.  The super has talked to them (didn't help) and I wrote to the landlord.  Haven't heard anything back yet so I'm still wound up dreading the next wave of pounding bass.  My building is not the kind of building where people do this.  It is well-managed, a good building- and I really want it to stay that way.  Quality of life and preservation of the environment for everyone. When you live in a good building, you have to be a good tenant to keep the building good.  It's not the Bronx. And I'm paying a lot of rent.

I'm nuts about having a peaceful home environment.  I require sanctuary.
Obviously there is a normal amount of noise around to be expected and that's ok but I don't like my space to be infringed upon, nor would I do that to someone else.

Anyhow it stresses me. I can't seem to unwind from it.
I hate noise.

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I can't find my Holbein palette knife and I strongly suspect- no, I KNOW- it is cat-related. Yesterday I looked for a long time in all the places it should have been, and some places it shouldn't.  Nothing.  My palette knife is my painting BFF and I miss it terribly.  I have a backup but it's not the same.

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My friend Nancy had heart surgery on April 12th and no one has heard from her.
Neither of her phones are working, no response to email, her husband doesn't pick up. I called the gallery where she shows yesterday and they haven't heard anything but hopefully someone in OK will be able to find out more. In the meantime I tracked down her daughter and niece on Facebook and messaged them, but no response. Nance is elderly and physically very frail so I am worried.

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All the trains are broken this morning exceot the 7 and the IRT lines, and it is probably only a matter of time until the 7 breaks.
I left home on time and got to work...there were problems during my commute but I got in before they got even worse.

Notify NYC 

Notification issued 4/21/17 at 9:17 AM. UPDATE: Due to a power outage, there are service changes and delays on the A,B,C,D,E,F, J,N, Q and R trains. The B train remains suspended between Brighton Beach and Beford Park Boulevard in both directions. The M train remains suspended between Chambers Street and Forest Hills in both directions.

Consider alternate routes and allow for additional travel time. For more information, please visit www.mta.info.


Consider alternate routes?
MTA, all the routes are broken! The regular AND alternate ones!

DŌ

This morning Daya, my coworker, and I went on a work field trip to the new cookie dough place in the Village.

There is always a line and we waited.
But it was worth it.

Cookie dough for breakfast is a fine idea.

And then I guess you can go to the pilates place around the corner!

Daya is back to school from spring break tomorrow FINALLY!

Easter

Daya got a visit from the Easter bunny.
She was most excited about her new sandals.

Holographic Grass

I love Easter- it is a nice holiday with good chocolate.

The cats also had a nice day.

We went to see Jackie in the afternoon and Rob joined.
Jackie always hosts such nice holidays- we had an egg hunt for the kids (money eggs) and Daya found the golden (actually it was green) prize money egg.

All in all she made out exceptionally well and she now has more money than me.
Which is not hard to do.

Rob looked good and knew it...here he is doing his supermodel pose.
My supermodel pose is not very good.

Flip: More Cowbell

There is a member of my household who would insist on more cowbell in everything and that member is Pebbles.

So here she is, and yes she is judging you to irrational standards.

Watercolor and inktense. ACEO

You have to see Carey's... it is hilarious.

Tourist Crime Magnets

Yesterday I got on the train after work to go home.
At Times Sq, three 20-something tourists got on- one guy and two girls.

They sat on the bench next to me.
Perhaps they were all excited about being in NYC on Spring Break (which is right now)- they were very hyper and a bit obnoxious, which is ok.
The guy stood up, left the bench, and walked over to the pole near the end of the car.  One of the girls joined him- the one who was sitting farthest away and next to me.

She wanted to swing on the pole and dance and sing with the guy.
She did not want to hold her purse while she did this.
Did she give it to her friend who remained sitting? Nope.
She left it on the bench right next to me, walked away, and proceeded to think she was entertaining the whole train.

!!!!!!!!

She did not notice at all when I picked up her bag.
If it was someone else, they would have been off the train in 2 seconds flat at 49th street.

I held her bag for a minute and stared at her.
Then I stood up and walked over to her, interrupted her dancing, handed her bag and told her "Do not leave your bag!"

Her response? "I was watching it."

Freaking tourist crime magnet.
She is very obviously a tourist = target = not paying attention = target and leaving her stuff lying around = PLEASE STEAL MY PURSE.

My warning had absolutely no effect on her.

Rob said he recently saw the same thing in Starbucks...some girl from Texas left her purse, laptop, and phone on the table while she went to the restroom. He said something to her and she had the same reaction Subway Tourist had.

WTF. Isn't this the most basic of basic safety???

Thank goodness Daya knows better.