topiary cats

topiary cats

Wednesday, March 29, 2017

Viewpoints

There was a big event at work yesterday and I took a few pictures from the 30th floor.








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Daya has been having some difficulties lately and I was concerned about it and trying to figure it out...then she said something last night and I had a huge massive revelation.  I never thought about it before; I never considered it in this framework.

Exactly like me, Daya is a classic introvert.
And so she is having the same problems I had.

I can't believe I never realized it like this before but I asked her a few questions and as it turns out, my daughter is a Mini-Me. Go figure.

I might not have noticed BECAUSE I am that way and that's how my home is set up.  It is a natural state for both of us.

There are two kinds of people: those who gain energy by being around others, and they lose energy when alone (extroverts)- and people who lose energy by being around other people and MUST be in their own space alone to gain energy back (introverts).

Most people are the first kind and have no understanding at all of the introverted personality.  It's just a completely different human experience.

Unfortunately it can be seen as being unfriendly and mean- people who are not introverts often take the need for a little solitude as a rejection, and they react badly to it.

I am certain Daya is starting to go through this.
It will be harder for her.
There are things she will have to do that will make her uncomfortable but she's going to have to compensate a little bit.

And most importantly she is going to have to learn how to communicate to those around her that she really does care deeply for them (she does), it's just that she's wired a little differently.  She will have to give a little and people who love her will have to understand her a little.

Something else people don't understand is that having an introvert personality doesn't necessarily mean you are shy.  I'm not shy.  Not at all.  And neither is Daya.  This throws people off and reinforces their negative reactions to someone who naturally withdraws.

Now that I know the underlying reason behind some of her difficulties, I can work with it because it is something I understand deeply and completely.

4 comments:

  1. I'm glad you had that revelation. Having been down that road myself I know it's not an easy one. At least she has you. I'm always here for both of you--you know that. :)

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  2. It is good that you are somewhat alike.

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  3. I think it is good that Daya has you, you understand exactly what she is going through and can help her... I was an extrovert as a child until my step mother made me into a shy person, I thought I was an introvert... Late in my 20's I made a conscious decision to get past the shyness... that's when I realized I wasn't an introvert... because my sister is friendly but she likes being on her own ... more than large crowds... xox

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  4. I have one kid who's an extrovert, and one who's an introvert. It makes planning vacations challenging :)! You're a good mama!

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