There is a a philosopher who has a Youtube channel and radio named Stefan Molyneux
He talks about a lot of stuff from a philosophy perspective.
And his own perspective and experience.
I don't have a philosophy background and this guy can be a little extreme at times but honestly I have to agree with a lot of what he says.
Not everything, but he makes sense.
And he has a whole lot to say about single moms. Nothing good.
AND he's not wrong, though I do think I fall firmly in the "exception" category for many specific reasons.
So I have been listening to him a lot the past couple of days and I have to stop because while I do agree with him in general, it is dredging up all my inner muck that really just needs to stay settled at the bottom of my inner pond. There's some bad stuff there. There is no positive benefit to stirring it up and it is messing up my head and taking me down extremely dark tunnels. It is also making me feel utterly despondent and hopeless and terrible about my own life and my own parenting circumstance. Gloom and doom and failure with no possibility of good outcome. This is not good, nor is it true.
I have already done such a huge amount of self work- and I continue to do so- and I am at a place where I am self-aware enough to know how my life was affected by past circumstance and why I made the choices I made. And I own those choices, even the "wrong" ones- not "wrong" but unhealthy- but I, along with the rest of all humanity, am not perfect and should not be condemned for life decisions lacking knowledge that only age, experience, awareness, and hindsight brings. For what it is worth I have an ACE Score of 6.
You cannot throw a 5 year old into a situation suitable for a 17 year old and blame the 5 year old for screwing the whole thing up and not knowing any better. Textbooks and real life are different. I'm all for logic and reason, but we are more than that- we are beings of great feeling and there has to be balance between the heart and mind. And of course for me there is the spiritual element.
Additionally, while I still have to cope with what I consider at this point to be chronic internal pain issues that flare up sometimes, I have structures in place to move forward in a healthier positive existence. And that has taken a considerable amount of work over a long time.
Like everything it is practice and I slip sometimes.
So when I know I am being impacted by something that- while worthwhile- is starting to hurt me- I need to be aware of that and switch my input.
I went to yoga last night and I'm going again tonight.
Since I need to change the voice in my head immediately, I have Wayne Dyer on which has definitely helped tremendously.
We are influenced enormously by the input we choose- and it is always a choice- and knowing when you have to change the channel for your own well-being is pretty essential.
If you are getting into an unhealthy low-energy state you have to go get higher energy from somewhere else.