topiary cats

topiary cats

Wednesday, January 11, 2017

I Got Unfriended

"Walking out your front door 
is dangerous business" 
                                 -Bilbo Baggins

So recently I made a Facebook connection with a painter in New Zealand.
Let's call him CH.
He's a really good painter, and a cool person.

I posted a pic on Facebook of Daya hanging upside down on the subway.

Here it is, and it is a great picture.

CH made a comment about it isa good way for her to break her neck and I'm just standing taking a picture. We had a short exchange, nothing rude at all, but it must have triggered something because he unfriended me.

Ok, let's pause and think about this.
I'm a pretty safety-conscious person but I'm also not a worrier and I think people are a bit too paranoid sometimes.

I know the subway.
I was there....I took the picture.
I know the situation.
I know the physical space.
I know how the train moves.
Daya knows how the train moves.
She was also not very high up.  Those bars are not terribly high- even I can reach them!
I know Daya is very strong, and I know the only possible strong jarring motion would be if the train stopped short unexpectedly, and that almost never happens. Seriously, almost never. AND if it did, she could reach to the side or up and just hold on. It is not a big deal. It would be extremely easy for her to brace herself if needed.

I explained to CH that Daya was fine.
He started talking about strong able-bodied people in spinal injury wards.
Ok, yes, I know that exists. But it is not proportional to the situation here.
But there is an evaluation of a known environment balanced with risk factors.
This is nothing close to something like a car accident or a high-impact sports situation.
Or skateboarding.
Or even possible dangers of bike riding.
Driving down the highway.
Normal every day activities that pose far more risk than Daya hanging upside down on a subway bar for about 5 minutes.

I maintain this was not a very dangerous thing for Daya to do for the 2 stops we were on the train last night.

But something must have really triggered CH because he unfriended me, which I think is a very strong unwarranted reaction.

We need to take risks and let our kids take risks.
The world is full of danger. everything is a risk.

Society is over-paranoid, sanitized, and kids are suffering for it.


  1. I thought it was a cool picture and as you stated that you wouldn't recommend others do this unless they were Daya... she is very strong physically... and you know your daughter xox

  2. Oh psshhhhh, don't let a stupid comment like that get to you! Not a worth fretting over, girl! And definitely not worth a blog post. There will always be people like that out there. Just ignore them.

  3. A strong reaction to a little action.


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