topiary cats

topiary cats

Monday, January 16, 2017

Detail

I have been working on a painting, a large-ish layered oil painting.
The whole thing is a bit of a color experiment and it still needs a lot of work.
But my clouds are coming along nicely- I did a lot of work on them last night.

Here is a detail of the upper right corner of the painting (oil on panel):


It is still very wet and I have to wait a few days before continuing.
This is fine though because this painting needs a lot of thinking.  It needs to sit while I problem-solve.

*****
Today I went to Jackie's for tea, which was lovely.
Another friend of ours came up in conversation and Jackie asked if I saw something she posted, which I had not so when I went to check I discovered I had been unfriended.

I'm trying to wrap my head around it because absolutely nothing happened.
We haven't been in touch much lately, because she has a whole new group of friends she has been hanging around with and I gave up on keeping in touch other than Facebook because I never got a response. I know the unfriending has been very recent.

And now I have been unfriended (??) and have also found out she has apparently resumed friendship with one of the close friends I lost in 2015.....and this person she resumed friendship with told me several times she didn't even like her very much!

This is stirring up a lot of not-good feelings for me, mostly a lot of hurt and sadness.
People like to talk about others a lot and they never look in the mirror.  
It's always someone else's fault, and they never look at how they themselves are treating people.
Those are the people you have to watch, because they will always turn on you eventually, too.

Or they do and say things that break relationships and they reconcile it in their own mind, and then want to act like nothing happened because they got over it...in their mind...without ever resolving or apologizing with the person they said terrible things to. And then, somehow, there's something wrong with me for not acting like nothing happened.

Daya was also hurt by those events.



I know the above saying is true but it still hurts and I feel very sad.

I wish I was the kind of person people wanted to stay friends with and keep around.

6 comments:

  1. Jessica, it's their los's, I find you are caring and thoughtful. You take time out of your day when I message you... I believe that quote too but you're right it's still not easy.xox ♡

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  2. Wait, is this the same person from the other unfriending post you wrote? Either way it's their loss. I wouldn't get too hung up on it. True friendship doesn't take any effort and is EASY. Which this obviously isn't, so I say fuck it.

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  3. No someone different who i have known for years.

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  4. Oh Jessica, I feel awful for you. I know if I say it is their loss, it probably won't make you feel any better, but I do believe it. Never forget you are a kind, generous, creative loving person. I will always have your back, and Daya's too. I am so sorry.

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  5. I'm so sorry about the unfriending thing, but may I just say those clouds are phenomenally well done and truly beautiful.

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