topiary cats

topiary cats

Saturday, August 27, 2016

Rivet (PRT)

I have new neighbors upstairs.
They moved in about a month ago.

They are horrible.
I mean REALLY horrible.

Actually the old lady I spoke with twice was pretty nice but also completely silent.  Maybe she doesn't speak English.

Anyhow, the super told me the new tenants are a lady in her 30s and her father who is very overweight and very ill and is mostly in bed.

I don't think so.

So, ok, why then are there THREE CHILDREN living up there and both children and adults stomp around in hard shoes on the wood floor constantly AND THEY MOVE FURNITURE at all hours.

This morning their crashing and banging woke me up at 6am this morning, and I sleep with earplugs in. The crashing sounds like heavy furniture falling.  Repeatedly. It scared the crap out of Furball.  Poor kitty.

My apartment is shaking. Literally, shaking.

WTF are they DOING up there????

I have spoken with the super, I have spoken with the tenants twice, I wrote to the landlord.
After I told the tenants that I was notifying the landlord about the THREE CHILDREN those kids disappeared pretty fast.  The super told me they are not supposed to have children living in that apartment.

However, the hard-shoe stomping and insane crashing and furniture moving in the middle of the night contines. So it is once again time for me to engage in Sonic Warfare.
I will win; I always do. Because I am more insane than they are.

Here is what you need in order to succeed at helping your neighbors understand just how dreadful it is to live next to, or in this case, under them.

1. Bluetooth speakers  (I don't think the new tenants are clever enough to hack my signal like Olga did.  If they do, I'll resort to old-school wiring.

2. Your old iPhone, in airplane mode with bluetooth turned on.  What a WONDERFUL use for my old phone!  All my files are on there (I only need one) and I can blast the BEST FUCKWIT NEIGHBOR SONG EVER without needing to employ another device that I am actually using.

3. Duct tape.

4. Connect through bluetooth, control with your old iPhone.

5. Blast.

The only song you will ever need


  1. You are awesome Jessica... my neighbors upstairs used to move furniture around over and over ... they must have finally got it all in place as they seemed to have stopped... I am sure they didn't like my incessant banging on the ceiling either... not to mention the not so nice looks when I saw them in the hall. I am so glad they finally got the picture and quieted down xox


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