Yesterday I had a lovely day up at Oyster Bay on Long Island.
Beautiful clouds, beautiful water, and lovely company.
This is probably the *fingers crossed* nicest PRT I have had in....maybe forever.
I'm in a transition, so is Daya. I am transitioning out of the last 10 1/2 years.
The Little Kid Days are over. I am SO relieved, and that's probably not a "normal" perspective...but it has been so brutal on so many levels and I NEED to transition out. My experience and circumstance has not been a "normal" one so maybe it makes sense. I have been so alone and running on way-beyond-empty for so long. I'm numbed out. That is not good.
There are things about myself I'm not sure about that I need to find out.
I don't know if I have been too sanded-down from years and years of abrasive days and so much personal loss to the point where I don't know what is just normal growth and good evolution, or if I have gone through too much erosion.
It's kind of like I don't know what condition I am in, and I need to look at myself in a different light- in the light of change- in order to assess and evaluate. What is polished and what is worn away, and whether that is a good thing or not.
I need to find out.
It will take time.
Anyhow, Oyster Bay was lovely and there were swans. I would love to go there and paint.
I deeply love the water and I never again want to live somewhere inland with no water, especially the ocean, close by. And the Hudson River.