topiary cats

topiary cats

Monday, May 09, 2016


But if there's on thing in my life
that these years have taught
it's that you can always see it coming
but you can never stop it
                         -Cowboy Junkies

So-called "special" days and holidays hit me hard in a very bad way, and it isn't something I seem to have any control over.  It just happens and it is very hard to get through. It's getting worse and worse every year.  It starts a few days before, no matter what is going on or not going on. I wish I could stop it, make it stop, make it go away, but I cannot. It hits and I cannot get out of the path no matter what.

It's bad.

I am over-encumbered, and have been for far too long.  I have already dropped everything that can be dropped but it didn't make a difference.

I posted an article on Facebook yesterday to acknowledge that not everyone shares in the experience of having a great mother. Someone messaged me privately to say thank you, that it meant a lot to them to see that even though they weren't going to "like" it publicly for personal reasons.

I guess that's why I stick so much of my personal stuff out there, because we are so inundated with affirmations, positive memes, expectations to feel/react in certain ways, and so many people are really struggling.  It's good to encounter things to relate to instead of someone telling you to think positive bullshit thoughts.



  1. Jessica I totally agree with empathy... I think people want to use that have a positive thought to get through because they don't want to deal with the feelings. I say feel them because they will come back and only stronger.

    I saw your post on FB... it's incredibly true that not everyone had good mothers. My mom was a nice woman but I was not raised by her, I was raised by my crazy ex step mother who was mean and miserable... I also don't think anyone had the perfect mom... that would entail someone having to be perfect and we aren't.

    Thanks for listening to me and helping me out with some great ideas ♡♡♡

  2. Yeah, I saw your facebook post... Only then did it really hit me that not everyone has a great band with their mom and that a day like Mother's Day can be painful for some.

  3. My Mother had few to no parenting skills. I have come to terms with it. It is easier after they die. At least it was for me.

  4. I do not think that word means what you think it means.

    1. Empathy is relating to/sharing another person's feelings. Pretty straightforward.


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