topiary cats

topiary cats

Saturday, May 21, 2016


....there was a small child, about 4 years old, on the streets of a large busy city. London maybe, it could have even been here in NYC on the Lower East Side in the days of the tenements. (I have always had a fascination with the LES tenements)

The child was on her own, homeless. She may as well have been an orphan except her parents were still alive somewhere. She had been turned out to the streets and abandoned. Possibly turned away by more than one person.

There was nothing wrong with her, she hadn't done anything wrong, it was just her circumstance. She had absolutely no one in the world. Completely unwanted. So she wandered the streets but no one paid attention to her at all. She sat down and cried, and not one single person looked at her or gave her even so much as a crust of bread.

And THEN......

.......she died.
She died alone of hunger and exposure.

Her very last dying thought was, "I am worth less than the shit on the bottom of someone's shoe."

Cuti-citta, or death-consciousness, is the last conscious thought upon death.
Some say it impacts reincarnations.

This past Thursday afternoon I was chatting with another artist on Facebook. (A pastel artist, she also went to Pratt)

She told me she was going on a call with an akashic records-reader-person who was offering free half hour readings to facebook followers. My friend said she really didn't know anything about it but it sounded interesting.

Akashic records are the database/record of the earth/us/everything

Well hell, it was free, why not?
I booked a call for Friday evening,
Honestly, I have had intuitive readings before- several actually.  Some were really helpful and accurate and some were nonsense and just dead wrong.

This was a good reading. Very helpful.
I didn't agree with everything 100%,.  Four years ago I would have agreed with the bits I disagree with now, though I do agree mostly.

That past life thing was what really matters and that is pretty much the ONLY thing that really makes sense of everything. And it really does make sense.

...........What an absolutely TERRIBLE past life!!!!!

It is true that I have experienced a disproportionate amount of abandonment and being completely alone. Abandonment from death is one thing; most of the time people don't choose to die.
When someone who is alive abandons you, it is worse in a way because it was their want and choice to do so.

It is true that I am still REALLY angry with my guides.
They know exactly why.

Anyhow the pattern and resonance of that horrible past life really resonates with me. I can see that pattern emerging over and over.

I came in with it.  I do NOT want it. I have been trying to get rid of it.

The absolute crappy thing is- and I know life isn't fair, but this is just REALLY not fair. It's nothing I have caused. There's nothing wrong with me.

But perhaps bringing this into consciousness and dismantling it will cause the energy shift I so deeply need and have been trying so unsuccessfully for so long to change. Because I have tried EVERYTHING and nothing has worked.

If you want info on a reading go to Akasha Unleashed (facebook).
Direct website is here.
She is very good.
My free reading was supposed to be for a half hour but it ended up being 50 minutes.
At no time whatsoever did she try and sell me anything.


  1. I've never had a reading like that. I honestly don't know what they could tell me if I did. I'm pretty aware of the fact that I've led a very happy and blessed life so far (fingers crossed things stay this way) and though I have experienced loss and sadness just like everyone else there is nothing that has TRULY scarred me the way you seem scarred. It just makes me so sad that you've had to deal with so much crap and sadness in your life.

  2. I understand all the sadness and abandonment feelings... I tried burying them for many years but it only comes back to haunt you more... I hope I figure it out so that I don't keep repeating it... xox I feel so bad for you too Jessica... it's sad to feel alone, all the time xox


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