topiary cats

topiary cats

Friday, October 09, 2015

Shitty Cheezecake

Yeah I know, that's impossible, except that it isn't.

I saw a recipe for Pistachio Cheezecake.
It had a picture.
I had to make it.

Oh wow, right??

This is the recipe:

Ingredients (crust)
2 cups flour
1/2 cup ground almonds
1/2 cup cold butter

Directions (crust)
In a small bowl, combine the flour and almonds; cut in butter until crumbly. (I used a food processor) Press onto the bottom and 1-1/4-in. up the side of a greased spring form pan. Bake at 400 degrees for 10 minutes.

Ingredients (filling)
6 – 8 ounce packages of cream cheese, softened
1 can (14 ounces) sweetened condensed milk
2 packages (3.4 ounces each)instant pistachio pudding mix
5 eggs
garnish with whip cream and almond slivers (optional)

Directions (filling)

In a large bowl, beat cream cheese, milk and pudding mixes until smooth. Add eggs; beat on low speed just until combined. Pour over crust. Place pan on a baking sheet. Reduce heat to 350 degrees. Bake for 55-60 minutes or until the center is almost set. Cool on a wire rack for 10 minutes. Carefully run a knife around the edge of the pan to loosen; cool 1 hour longer. Refrigerate overnight



Not due to how it turned out- it actually turned out perfectly- but it was so BLAND.
If you are in a state of shock and disbelief, and you compulsively need to try this cheezecake, do this:

1. Add more sugar and taste that batter twice before baking.
2. DO NOT make the crust in the recipe, it is absolutely terrible. Make a graham cracker crust instead. You might not need to add sugar to the cream cheeze if there is a sweet graham crust.
3. I told you so.


  1. Hahaha, it LOOKS tasty though!

  2. It certainly is pretty. I wouldn't be tempted to make this. I am not much of a baker. I am not a fan of cheesecake. Some things should just be painted not baked or eaten.

  3. LOL, Lisa!!! I'm so glad you tried this because I have always wanted to but never did! Thanks for review!!!


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