topiary cats

topiary cats

Thursday, May 28, 2015

Hug-Sit

Ever since Daya was a toddler, we have had a bedtime ritual.  She named it hug-sit when she was just starting to talk.  I had a rocking chair, and we would spend some time there snuggling before she went to sleep.

As she got older, and the rocking chair found a new home, hug-sit evolved into story, prayers, and me laying down with her for a few minutes.  With a "one more minute" notification when it was almost over. (kids really love to know what happens next before it actually happens)  When she started reading on her own, the story time stopped and hug-sit often turned into her wanting to ask questions that really require the space and time for longer conversations.  

Daya decided she is now too old for hug-sit.  She was very apologetic about it, saying she didn't want to hurt my feelings or upset me.  But it didn't, not at all, and I told her so.  I appreciate and enjoy Daya at all her phases, and I know that she is just starting to go through a big transition.  So now, we just say prayers together and I leave.

It is completely ok with me.  I respect her need to assert herself in these small ways.  She needs to test things out.  She needs to know it is safe and ok, Especially with me. And she wants to know that. My reaction matters to her a whole lot. I also told her it is ok for her to change her mind if she wants to.  Growing up is a back and forth process.  They venture out, then run back to safety. Then out again.

I have no emotional need or want for her to stay little.  

In fact, being a parent is not about my emotional needs at all.  It IS about Daya's needs, including her emotional needs.  It is my job to take care of her, not the other way around. It is also my job as a parent to adjust to her changing needs, while remaining consistent.  That is a challenge. Especially because these new phases...err, phase in.  They go back and forth moment to moment.

Here is Daya at the playground from this past weekend.  She has been playing here since she was a year old.



**********
Card today: One Ring Circus (upright)


My interpretation: Inner chaos/turmoil.  One-Ring meaning internal, not involving other people. Having to manage all aspects of life alone.  Keeping balanced is a juggling act.  Precarious circumstance.

Booklet says: "You are capable and competent."  Booklet talks about independence.  Others don't have the resources you need.  Self-reliance, wisdom accumulated along the way, very competent and capable of moving forward. Creating and maintaining boundaries.

My interpretation against the booklet is interesting.  The booklet's interpretation is ABSOLUTELY DEFINITELY my life. I have no one to help or depend on except myself.  My interpretation is how I feel about it.  It does feel precarious sometimes.

5 comments:

  1. Your sweet Daya is so strong. She will be ok. You will be ok. She will like looking back on this blog to see these things you write. So positive, strong, loving.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Daya is one bendy little lady :-)

    ReplyDelete
  3. this is the first pic I have seen of Daya in years...oh my how she has grown up...!!!... well done with the parenting and the generosity of your heart...

    ReplyDelete
  4. Awwww! That is sweet. <3

    ReplyDelete
  5. Daya is amazingly flexible and strong! She is growing up so fast!!!

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for stopping by! I love your comments! :) <3