topiary cats

topiary cats

Thursday, April 02, 2015

Traumatized

Yesterday Daya asked me if I could take a look at her kindle because it was low on space and she couldn't find anything else to delete.

I took it to work and had a look around.  I went into her internet search history.  As I scrolled through, I saw all the events and people she had been reading about, on her own, on Wikipedia.  I felt so proud of her.  And THEN.....there were several links of very explicit and very nasty content of the "adult" kind.  I felt sick.  I felt like a complete and total parenting failure.

Now, I have had the sex talk with Daya.  We did that at the beginning of this school year.  I gave her three age-appropriate books, which she does look at.  And I am available for questions, which she does ask. Mostly, she just thinks the whole thing is gross. She has seen nude pictures and she has been to art museums.  I have an entire library of art books with nudes.  I have a nicely illustrated dictionary of the human body, which she has always had free access to.  The point is that she has access to appropriate information.  She should not need to go looking for it.

Her internets were on lockdown for a while, but I recently relaxed it because of a very sensible request to do research for homework, which is valid. We have had many talks about internet safety and trust.  She wanted so badly for me to trust her, and I wanted to trust her.

When she called me from dance, I told her we needed to talk.  About her internet history on her kindle.  She had no idea what I was talking about.  Based on her initial reaction, I believed her because she didn't act "found out".  When I spoke to her later in person, it turned out that she tapped on the wrong thing and this nasty stuff presented itself to her.  She didn't watch it.  She closed it.  I believe her.  She showed every sign of honesty. I know my child.  She was telling the truth. She said it has happened before but she closes the pages and doesn't look at them- she thinks they are weird and gross.  It has only happened on her (Android) kindle.  I checked our iOS devices, they are all clean.  So now she is not allowed to use the web browser on her kindle.  I did set her up with the parental guard profile, but all her game data is reset.  We are both happy with the rule of no internet browsing on the kindle.

I was so relieved I felt sick,. Again.  This was a very traumatic experience for me.

It is so disgusting how this awful nasty stuff can present itself and invade with no invitation whatsoever.

Carey sent this to me, and it is very comforting.  She was so supportive and wonderful, for which I am deeply grateful.


I do pray a lot, and I generally accept that prayers are heard, but it is so, so nice to have this confirmation.  Sometimes I really do need to hear it.

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SIDE NOTE
I am going to get some very interesting traffic to my site now because I have another post with the word porn in it. Oh, and sex. And nude! Going by numbers, my top hit of all time is this post.  

What can I say, my blog promises to disappoint.  

If you came here for some nudity you can go look at my copy of Twilight.

3 comments:

  1. The internet is a blessing and a curse. I have by accident gotten a nasty thing on my computer. It is disturbing. I am glad you got her Kindle straightened out. I am glad I didn't have to deal with this when my children were young.

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  2. I believe her too - there are way too many horrible things on the internet - and I am very open-minded!

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  3. There is much trauma in parenthood.

    *sigh*

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