topiary cats

topiary cats

Thursday, April 23, 2015

Isolated Patterns

Last year when I was sorting through a few things, I was given some advice, a suggestion, which I struggle with.  But I am still turning it around, thinking about it, trying to see how to apply it.

Basically, in one (maybe two) areas of my life concerning people, things always seem to turn out the same. It's something I really struggle to understand.  The advice I was given was to not lump things together but rather see them as separate events which are isolated from each other.

The reason I have a lot of difficulty with this is because I am always, constantly, looking for patterns.  It's how I am hard-wired.  I look for patterns in repeating events, situation outcomes, my own thoughts and behaviors, Daya's patterns, patterns of light and shadow to compose paintings (even though I haven't painted in a while- I still am always painting and analyzing the world through my painter's mind), and behavior patterns in others.  I do this to either break or reinforce patterns over which I have control, or understand what to expect from people.

Everything is energy. I see energy patterns- sound and music too (it's called synesthesia).  I see energy patterns as intertwining layers of color and texture, kind of like threads or waves but not really.  It's very difficult to describe, and when someone is speaking to me, especially if they need help, I start seeing the threads and "patterns" of what they are saying, their situation, and reading it.  This can be difficult to translate into words.  It's a very abstract thing,  but it is how I see energy.  Stuff connected to other stuff.

Because I know that everything is interconnected, it is very difficult for me to isolate things and see them as un-related, especially if I think there is a pattern happening.  One-off moments can happen, we all have them, but when things start repeating it is a pattern.  Perhaps the advice I was given is true, and this inability to see things as isolated, outside of a pattern, especially when I perceive it to be the same result over and over, is to my detriment.

But I really want to understand why things keep happening.  Or not happening.

I might take a day to experiment by consciously suspending all my beliefs and believe something different for a day. See what that's like, how it feels, and if I am even capable of fully doing it. See if it even serves a purpose. Look at things differently .I can always revert back.


  1. Yes, looking for patterns, if it is in your own behaviour or the way that people treat you, it may be because you are choosing to have people in your life that have similar personality traits.

    But, yes, as artists we see patterns everywhere, even when not consciously painting. I know when I am talking to people, I am scanning their faces, measuring and looking at light playing on the planes. I wonder if it is disconcerting.

    Also, at work, say at a meeting, if I am in a room with paintings in, I find myself correcting errors, measuring and analysing the shapes, colours and tones. If no paintings in the room, I am measuring doorways, corners, patterns in the carpet, light fittings, switches etc. I think I must look a bit strange.

    I hope your experiment of looking for something different is a great idea, maybe try it for a day and if you like it, try it for a week, a month, a year?

    1. I do the same thing with faces Rols, I don't know if it is disconcerting or not, no one ever complained. lol
      I am always analyzing from a painting perspective. I'm sure I look odd but I just don't care. HUGS

  2. Anonymous8:09 PM

    Hey, Jessica. Seeing patterns is what we all do, some better than others. In fact, pattern recognition is one of the primary measures of intelligence. Read this blurb: Or this article: (OK, maybe an article about machines replacing us isn't what you need right now...but the part about how basic pattern recognition is to our human-ness was the part I thought was important!) Those are just a couple things I grabbed off the internet, but I know there's more info out there. So with all that pattern recognition you're talking about - and your being aware, too, that you do a lot of pattern recognition - it just sounds to me like you're probably an unusually bright person, and that's never easy, especially since the average person neither is aware of the patterns of life nor is able to discuss them. But would you have it any other way? I mean, how boring NOT to recognize the patterns around us!
    AnnieA (from WC)

  3. Hi Annie! Thanks for stopping by, thanks for the links!


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