topiary cats

topiary cats

Wednesday, March 04, 2015

Better Roots

All parents.... The majority of parents want better for their children than they had growing up.  I am no exception.  One of my triumphs as a parent, so far, has been to provide Daya a better childhood than I had in a few ways that, to me, are of utmost importance.

We may not have much money, but we make the most of it.  She has all of her needs and many (not all) of her wants.  Actually, I specifically don't want her to have everything she wants.  Life is not like that and she has to learn it.

What I have given her that I did not have:
  • General stability
  • Peaceful, emotionally harmonious home
  • A single place to grow up, roots
  • A good relationship with me
  • Fun experiences together
  • Lots and lots of pictures
  • Childhood friends to grow up with, to help make up for the lack of family
One of my greatest struggles was having no roots. It felt like a huge empty void, like I was floating through life completely unconnected.  This affected me in a huge way from childhood into my late 20s/early 30s.  But I have made my own roots.  I have created my own foundation from scratch, and I hope that it is one which can support Daya and strengthen her as she grows older.  I want her to have a sense of "home".

We each have our "moments" but in general Daya and I get along very well.  We live well together.  One of the things about NYC is the forced closeness of living quarters.  That's bad if you live with a toxic person, but Daya and I get along.  Our mornings are pretty quiet.  Sometimes I wake her up, sometimes she wakes me up, and we each do what we need to do.  It is never a fight, not stressful.  We have nice conversations. She is at that age where she is still super-cute but she can also hold a really good insightful conversation.  I enjoy her company, and I tell her so.


1 comment:

  1. She is lucky that you have found yourself before she came along. You are both blessed.

    ReplyDelete

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